Time for New Years!

So, I got tired of the #Reverb10. This year's questions were pretty dumb. But, it's almost New Years Eve, so it's resolution time. But, instead of resolutions, which tend to have a negative connotation of vague intentions that rarely see fruition, this year I want to set goals, complete with action plans and deadlines. So, here it goes.

Goal 1: Finish P90X
Right now, I am planning on being a stay-at-home mom at the end of January. Once I am no longer losing 2 hours a day to commuting, I want to invest more time into getting back into shape--because, frankly, it's pathetic how much my kids wear me out. So, I want to completely go through P90X as my first part of getting into shape. I've realized I hate treadmills, and there's no way I'm running outside when it's this dang cold. I plan on P90X taking more than 90 days to complete, asI want to do the full 90 day workout without working out on Sundays (usually the 7th day is for stretching, but I don't want to skip that workout). If I don't miss any days and stay perfectly on schedule, I will finish May 10th. But, let's be reasonable and say my deadline is the end of May. I also have a plan of waking up every day at 6:30 to start my workout. That may seem early, but it's pretty much the time I'm waking up now, or earlier, so it's not that much of a stretch. We'll see if that remains the case once I try...

Goal 2: Run a half marathon
My bucket list contains as one of its items the goal of running a full marathon. So, why not buckle down and do it this year? Well, there's a fairly good chance that B1 and I will try to get pregnant some time during 2011, and I don't want this goal to get squashed simply because something more important comes up. My plan is to start training for the half marathon once I complete P90X, using the same hour in the morning as I currently have set aside for P90X (I'll have to figure out how to work this out on days when B1 is off flying). I want to run a 5K no later than the end of June, and run a half-marathon no later than the end of August. The only out I want to give myself for not completing this is pregnancy.


Goal 3: Lose 10 pounds
I think goals 1 and 2 will get me to this, but I hope to hit this goal a lot faster. I got on the scale today and saw an ugly number: 144.6. I haven't seen that number in a long time, and frankly, it sucks. I don't want to wear any of my shirts because of the muffin top I get. I want to get back to 135. Not 137 or 136, or even 135.8. I want to get to 135.4 or lower, where I can honestly say I weigh 135. Deadline: May 31st (again, I'm hoping to finish that sooner).

Goal 4: Finish the Old Testament
B1 and I have been reading the Old Testament for something ridiculous, like 2 years. This year, I want to finish what we started. No, I'm not going to be super ambitious and start over--I just want to finish. Deadline: December 31, 2011.

Goal 5: Read 12 books, with at least 6 books being non-fiction
I LOVE to read. Seriously, I do. But a few months ago my father-in-law told me that I needed to branch out from my fantasy genre. While I do love fantasy, I thought his comment was a little too global. For example, lately I've also read some classics (I'm currently reading Madame Bovary, and this year alone I've read Animal Farm, Great Expectations, Scarlet Letter, and Persuasion). However, I have not been reading a lot of non-fiction (other than self-help and business books), so this year I want to stretch myself a bit and read some more non-fiction books. I'm allowing self-help (or, as I prefer to think of them, self-improvement) and business books to fit into the non-fiction category, as I've been enjoying those. Deadline: December 31, 2011.

On the right side of the blog I will keep a list of these goals and update you on my status. This way, I have some accountability.

Now, for some resolutions. These are things I want to do that will take constant improvement and will never have a point where I can say "Done!"

Resolution 1: Build an unbreakable habit of scripture reading and prayer.
After our recent scare about maybe moving to Minneapolis or Houston (resulting in us being able to choose to stay in SLC or choose to move), I came to an unhappy conclusion: I can no longer complain about living in Utah, since I choose it. Secretly, I've been blaming Utah for anything unpleasant - Utah Mormons, Utah culture, Utah weather, and so on. I remember one sob-fest I had, a year or so ago, when I told B1 that I just can't be a good LDS member in Utah. Honestly, I don't remember the argument that I tried to make for that statement, but I've let it be an excuse for why I don't do the basics. A few months ago, our stake Relief Society presidency challenged us to read the Book of Mormon by March 19th. I'm a little behind now, but am on track to be caught up by Saturday. Reading the Book of Mormon has brought sanity back to my life. I'm more patient with my children and overall happier. I want to keep this up and not stop once I hit the short-term goal of March 19th.

Resolution 2: Cultivate friendships
Considering I've lived in my condo for five and a half years, I feel like I'm missing the friendships that others have created. Not to guilt-trip anyone who reads this blog and also lives in our condo community, but it's the little things that make me jealous of what I lack, such as people posting on my Facebook profile or inviting me to activities (granted, this latter one, I hope, has been largely due to my inability to attend since I've been working full-time). I'm not saying I want to be the most popular person in the ward (okay, I do, but that's not reasonable)--I just want to feel like I can go to church and sit next to someone without the feeling of needing to create, awkwardly, conversation. I'm not going to post here what I plan to do, because I don't want anyone to feel like they're my project or that I'm their project.

Resolution 3: Love being a mom
Of course, I love my kids. But honestly, the looming possibility of being a stay-at-home mom has me terrified. Here at work, I've coined a pathology: "What-the-crap-do-you-do-all-day disease." It's rampant at work--department A wonders why Department B can't help out with task C, because seriously, what the crap does Department B do all day?? I have the same problem with stay-at-home moms, but a different twist. I know it's busy being a stay-at-home mom, but what I wonder is what on earth do they do to keep their kids busy, without resorting to 5 hours a day of Spongebob? This is something I desperately want to learn. B2 will be starting kindergarten in the fall, and I don't want his last months of being at home all the time to be spent in front of the TV. I do plan to attend as many play groups as I can, and we bought the Pass of All Passes so we can spend lots of time at Trafalga, Seven Peaks, and sporting games. Seriously though, SAHMs, any feedback, advice, or tips you can give me would be warmly received!!!

Wow--these are some lofty goals and resolutions, but I really think I can do it!

Awesome Prayer

Tonight during prayers, B2 prayed for the following:

"Please bless O that she can grow up like me, and play soccer."

I hope Aunt K is okay with O playing soccer!!!

If you're happy and you know it...

Right now B2 is sitting on the potty singing "If You're Happy and You Know It." I was doing my hair, and this is what I heard:

"If you're happy and you know it clap your hands.


I'M NOT HAPPY!"

#Reverb10

So, last year I did the #Best09 Challenge, where each day I had to answer the prompted question. I really enjoyed it, and wanted to do it again this year. This year it's called the #reverb10. So, I'm a little late getting started (I was supposed to start Dec 1), but better late than never, right? So, let me get caught up.

December 1 – One Word. Encapsulate the year 2010 in one word. Explain why you’re choosing that word. Now, imagine it’s one year from today, what would you like the word to be that captures 2011 for you?
For me, I think the best word is BUSY! This year has been busy, busy, busy. B1 has been flying like crazy, we've been working our tails off to get out of debt, I'm still working full-time, my sister finished her senior year of volleyball (so of course we were at every game), and so on. Next year, I want my word to be contentment. I will be making a major change, going from working full-time to being a stay-at-home mom. By the end of the year, I'm hoping to get some type of routine down and I'm hoping to LOVE being a mom.

December 2 – Writing. What do you do each day that doesn’t contribute to your writing — and can you eliminate it?
Life keeps me from writing a lot. I'm sure I could spend more time writing, but then I'd spend less time with my kids or hubby. So, I'm not planning on making that change any time soon.

December 3 – Moment. Pick one moment during which you felt most alive this year. Describe it in vivid detail (texture, smells, voices, noises, colors).
Maybe this is cheating to pick a moment so recent, but last night was my company Christmas party. I've never had such fun. We started off with dinner. Then, my boss gave everyone $100 in gold coins and told us to go shopping for an assigned person in the company. The twist? We were playing a game of Assassin (with dart guns we had received from him the week before). So, we had to shop while watching our backs. While in Big 5, I had a fellow employee try to gangsta shoot me (with his gun held sideways) while he used his wife as a sheild. In Costco, I shot a fellow manager square in the back. Outside Costco, I had a dueling war with a different manager as we ran in circles to avoid the other's darts. In Sports Authority, I had a James Bond moment as a I shot at a coworker while running sideways. After the shopping and Assassin were over, we gave and explained our gifts, and watched our Christmas video. This was the first time I had some embarrassing footage in our annual video, and I had a great time laughing at myself while my coworkers teased me. It was just overall a great night.

December 4 – Wonder. How did you cultivate a sense of wonder in your life this year?
Having young children, creating a sense of wonder is easy. All I have to do is sit down and watch or listen to them, and I'm amazed. I'm amazed at how smart B2 is getting. In fact, just today I picked him up from the babysitter's house and he started singing a song about the different kids in his preschool class. He is a sponge, so I'm very lucky to have him in such a great preschool.

December 5 – Let Go. What (or whom) did you let go of this year? Why?
I let go of a very good friend this year. Without too many details, the relationship had grown unhealthy. For a while, I felt very lonely. But, the sacrifice was definitely worth it.

December 6 – Make. What was the last thing you made? What materials did you use? Is there something you want to make, but you need to clear some time for it?
The last thing I made was food--of course. I'm always cooking. I made thumbprint cookies that were rolled in pecans. They were okay. I think I can improve on the recipe. This next year, I want to learn how to edit videos, and start editing our home videos and burning them to DVDs.

December 7 – Community. Where have you discovered community, online or otherwise, in 2010? What community would you like to join, create or more deeply connect with in 2011?
I have, even more so, developed community at my work. Now that we have passed the Christmas party, my resignation is looming near and it makes me sad. I will still be working there as an independent contractor, and will be in the office occasionally, but I will really miss the daily association with all the wonderful people there. In 2011, I really want to make friends in my home ward. Right now I feel like I get along really well with people in my ward, but I don't feel like we're FRIENDS. At best, I feel like we're neighbors. (I really hope this doesn't offend anyone!! Seriously, I know the problem is on my end--there are great people in my ward!) With my working full-time, I've missed out on a lot of opportunities like play groups, hanging out at the pool or parks, and so on. I'm super excited to jump into that as much as I can in a few more weeks.

December 8 – Beautifully Different. Think about what makes you different and what you do that lights people up. Reflect on all the things that make you different – you’ll find they’re what make you beautiful.
This is really hard for me. First, I don't think I'm all that different, and second, I really have no idea what I do that makes people light up. The only thing that really comes to mind is that I love to serve others, and usually anonymously (I don't want to feel like I'm serving for the appreciation, so I like to do it anonymously). Unfortunately, I'm not so gracious about receiving service...

December 9 – Party. What social gathering rocked your socks off in 2010? Describe the people, music, food, drink, clothes, shenanigans.
As mentioned previously, last night's Christmas party for my work ROCKED!

December 10 – Wisdom. What was the wisest decision you made this year, and how did it play out?
I think the wisest decision we made was the preschool we chose for Bw. His teacher is amazing, and he learns so much. He absolutely loves learning. He's learning his letters, and learning to write them. He looks forward to his homework! He sings songs I've never heard that I'm sure he learns at preschool. That was the best decision we made.

December 11 – What are 11 things your life doesn’t need in 2011? How will you go about eliminating them? How will getting rid of these 11 things change your life?
Wow...what a doozy! Here it goes.

1. Negativity. I have a very nasty habit of being negative, especially about myself. I'll complain about my stretch marks from my pregnancy (or the hundreds of other things wrong with my body, mostly pregnancy-caused or pregnancy-related), my loneliness, my crows feet that are growing around my eyes, my hair that never seems cute, my clothes that never seem flattering, my disobedient kids, my inability to control my temper...I could go on. My life could seriously do without all this negativity. My goal for next year is to curb my negative comments. I want to try to give more service, so I don't think about myself so much. I want to put a little more effort into my appearance. I want to spend less time in front of the TV and computer and spend more time with my kids (I get more frustrated with the kids if they interrupt me while I'm watching TV or working on the computer than almost any other time). I think this can change my life because I will be happier if I'm not focused on the negative so much.

This may seem silly, but that's the only thing I can think of right now. Maybe that's a good sign--my life is mostly going well. I just need to focus on what's right instead of what's wrong. :)

December 12 – Body Integration. This year, when did you feel the most integrated with your body? Did you have a moment where there wasn’t mind and body, but simply a cohesive YOU, alive and present?
This is kind of a weird question. I don't know that I ever feel like I'm separate from my body. So, my answer is pretty much always.

December 13 – Action. When it comes to aspirations, it’s not about ideas. It’s about making ideas happen. What’s your next step?
Oh dear, you're in for it if you start asking me plans. My goals next year are to get back in shape. I want to do this by completing P90X. By that time, it should hopefully be warmer, so I want to start running. I want to run a half marathon by the end of the summer, and hopefully a full marathon next summer. I think I can hit all these goals unless I get pregnant (no plans for that now, but you never know...).

December 14 – Appreciate. What’s the one thing you have come to appreciate most in the past year? How do you express gratitude for it?
Wow...there's a lot I appreciate. I think the one thing I've come to appreciate the most is living so close to family. We thought we were going to be moving out of state about a month ago, and I was so sad about the possibility of leaving my sisters behind, my brother, my in-laws, my extended family, and so on. So, as much as I hate living in the cold and I tend to complain about the state in which we live, I LOVE being near my family!


December 15 – 5 Minutes. Imagine you will completely lose your memory of 2010 in five minutes. Set an alarm for five minutes and capture the things you most want to remember about 2010.
B2 loves attention. We took him to Trafalga's and he loved being with his mom and dad and going mini golfing.

D said Mama first. He now gives me hugs and kisses. He's a momma's boy, and I love it. His new thing is he likes to wipe my nose with a tissue. He's so gentle when he does it.

Rinz finished volleyball. I got teary-eyed when the last point was scored. I'm so proud of her. And a little bit jealous, to be honest.

Beez is pregnant. She looked so pretty last night at the Christmas party. I never understood why people say pregnant women glow until I saw her last night.

B1 has been working so hard for our family. He's so excited about finally being the breadwinner. I'm so excited about being the happy little housewife.

B2 and D love their grandparents so much. I'm lucky they have one set who lives close and one set that visits often.

E and K finally got their baby. O is the most beautiful little baby. You can see in K's eye how much O means to her. I've never seen E prouder.

CP has been so good to me. I'm going to miss being there every day. I need to find more people I can refer to work there--anyone who doesn't work there is missing out.

A Christmas Card for Mommy

Dear Mom,

What do you want for Christmas, you ask? You may have presents when Santa comes.

B2

D's 18 month checkup

Tomorrow D is 18 months. Holy...crap. Anyway, so I'm taking him to his 18 month checkup. Our doctor always asks how many words he knows, so this time I'm coming prepared: 20. I thought it might be fun to post his word list:

Hi
Mommy (or Mama)
Dada
Baba (for sippy)
More
Milk
Please
Cookie (yes, my 18-month-old knows the word cookie)
Papa (what he calls Grandpa)
Shoe
No (very important when you have an obnoxious older brother)
Mine (also very important when you have an obnoxious older brother)
(Side note: is there anything besides an obnoxious older brother?? I argue no...at least, not at their ages)
Boo
Up
Down
Nini (every time he sees a picture of my sister, he starts saying, "Nini!! Hi Nini!")
Baby
Choo Choo (haven't you seen the video??)
Hot
All done!

Such an impressive list! And so full of commands--more, down, mine...

Tomorrow, I'd love to post all of my kids' growth charts, both for comparisons as well as to keep them documented in a way other than a pile of papers on my computer desk... But, we'll see. Work is going to be super busy this week, so I think I'll be spending much of my evenings playing catch up. Goal for tonight: work fewer than 2 hours.

So S-M-R-T

I feel so much better educated today. Here's what I've learned:

1.) I learned that eating 2.5 pounds of chocolate cake will result in me not eating for 24 hours, and me losing all desire to eat chocolate cake again in the near future.
2.) I learned how to replace a broken headlamp in my Ford. Incidentally, it's not as easy as replacing it on a Lincoln, since the stupid people at Ford decided to surround the headlamp with a BLACK (rather than clear) cylinder of scratchy plastic, plus make the lamp be held in place by a metal wire spring that has to be latched to a plastic piece with grooves so that the metal must be in the exactly perfect position, all while having this all crammed next to other engine parts making it impossible to a.) see, b.) hold the lamp in place, and c.) maneuver the wire without losing all feeling in your finger.
3.) I learned how to import video from my older (2002) camcorder into my brand new computer. Results: we are finally going to have playable versions of home movies, vacations, and so on from the last 8 years! Beware family and friends--if you come over, we may make you watch our home movies!

While typing this, D pooped in his diaper and it smells. Unfortunately, he's finally asleep after being in his crib for almost two hours. I dread waking him up, but I dread even more scrapping the dried poo from his sore bum in the morning. TMI??

Funny things B2 says

Today I picked B2 up from the babysitter's house. He proceeded to tell me all the fun things he did, including going to preschool, and then having lunch, and then playing toys. He ended his long, tiring day when he "went down and took a snooze."

Then, tonight, B2 was about ready to go to bed (rather, it was his bedtime). I asked if he wanted to stay up and play with toys, or if he wanted me to give him tuck-ins. He thought for a moment, and then said, in a very serious, grown-up tone, "Tuck-ins. I'm not going to play with toys tonight."

What would you do...for money??

Me? I'd eat 2.5 pounds of chocolate cake with my hands tied behind my back.

What are you thankful for? Part Deux

This is my gratitude list, part deux (I don't know why I'm writing that in French, since I don't speak it...and no, it's not Folie a Deux, though that's pretty awesome...okay, REALLY awesome). On a side note, why do I ramble so much in my blog posts? Do I ramble this much when I talk? Anyone? *Crickets*

Okay, back to my gratitude list. As a summary of list 1:

• My parents.
• My husband.
• The LDS temples.
• Baskin Robbins Mint Chocolate Chip ice cream.
• Dave Ramsey.
• My job.
• My kids.
• Prayer.
• Extended family.
• My sisters, Beez and Rinz.
• My many nieces' and nephews' birth mothers.

And now, continuing on...

1. My in-laws--how many people can really say this? Me, because my in-laws rock! When I got married, I got a whole bunch of in-laws at once. In B1's family, you couldn't really separate "immediate" family from "extended," because it was pretty much the same thing (no, not in an in-bred sort of way). Some of B1's best friends growing up were his cousins, and their family did reunions every year--his grandpa's family on down did a 3 day reunion, and his great-great grandpa's family on down did a one day reunion. Holy cow! But anyway, I was quickly introduced to B1's 4 millions cousins, aunts, uncles, and 2nd cousins once removed. While they are all great, the part I really want to brag about is B1's sisters, their husbands, their kids, and my mother- and father-in-law. B1's sisters really took me in when B1 and I started dating. They even told B1 at one point that if he ever decided to break up with me, he would be kicked out of the family and I would take their place. That was comforting, since at times it seemed like our relationship was at a standstill. But, that's another post for another time. I feel sometimes like we're the slacker siblings, since we don't make as much effort as we ought to to hang out with them. But, CH, know that we think about you guys often, just not at times you're available. :) And CB, we would hang out all the time if you lived closer. Okay, that's a lie, as clearly we don't hang out with CH because we're too busy...well, more so because CH is too busy. :) [Wow, the rambling is getting really bad...] So, not only our my in-laws on B1's side awesome, but my in-laws on my side are awesome too! K, Poos, Heyhey, and JoJo are riots!!! They make us laugh all the time, and I can't help feel like our family wasn't really complete until they came in. I thought we were always the coolest family, but now I know we are definitely the coolest family because we've grown in the coolness factor exponentially.
2. Our neighbor J-no-nickame, because he gave us smoked turkey. He smoked it himself, and oh...my...GOSH, it was the most amazing thing ever. He agreed to smoke us a turkey if we bought all the supplies. Unfortunately, we ran out of money in our budget in November, so we haven't had it yet, which means I've gone waaaay to long without it. I feel like Barney Gumble when he won a lifetime supply of Duff Beer--"Just hook it to my veeeeeins!" If I could have a steady IV of smoked turkey, but in a way that I could actually taste it, I would so do it. Mmm....turkey...*drooling*
3. People at work who consider leaving but don't. You know who you are.
4. My bestest friends ever, BHC and LHF. These two girls got me through insanity in high school, stupidity in college (and the reverse of those two as well), and life as an "adult." Some say they made their lifelong friends in college--I'm lucky enough to have made mine 4 years earlier.
5. Good books. I was a huge book nerd as a young kid, and it's coming back with the discovery of Brandon Sanderson. I'm not even sure how many books I've read this year, but it's a lot, and it's sooo much fun. Yay for GoodReads.com and good friends who give me recommendations for amazing books!
6. [I am so ashamed to admit this, but...]Utah volleyball, without which I would have had no life (but more time) for the last four years.
7. And, of course, the bestest school ever, BYU. Go Cougars!
8. Sleep, which brings me to the close of this post...so sleepy....

Sweet sunset

Daylight savings means I wake up when it's dark and come home when it's dark. It's like living in a cave...or the City of Ember. But anyway, the other day I was driving home to this magnificent sunset:

Unfortunately I didn't have my "real" camera...and I was driving while taking this picture (super safe, I'm sure), so it's both low in resolution and a little blurry from my camera bouncing around, but look at those colors!! It was amazing.

So long volleyball

This week my little sister has her last two college volleyball games ever (well, as a player at least). It's crazy--my best estimate is that I've watched 60 games in the last 4 years, not counting games I watched online or via Gametracker, or spring tournaments. Holy crap! No wonder my autumns have been so busy lately. And yet, I don't regret a single minute, except the minutes I was late. I've said things like, "Go Utah" exponentially more than I ever thought I would. And, while I'm still not a Utah fan by any means, I won't be bad-mouthing the Utah volleyball team any time soon, even when I'm cheering on my Cougars.

So, as the season draws to a close, I say "Well done girls!" to KB, KF, and, most importantly, my awesome sister Rinz.

What are you thankful for?

Lately I've felt the need to express more gratitude, so here's a shot at listing some of the many things for which I am grateful (in no particular order):

1.  My parents - they taught me, often without me ever realizing that they were teaching me, not to drink or smoke, to value virtue and integrity, to be a hard worker, and to never settle for less than my best. They raised me in the gospel so I didn't have to struggle with questions of "Is there a God?" and "Why am I here?" -- I knew the answers before I knew to ask the questions. They worked hard so I could play sports, go to Girls Camp, have a dog, go to college, and have my dream wedding. They dote on my children, and make me feel like their favorite (though, deep down, I know we're all their favorites, but I'll never admit that out loud).
2. My husband. I don't have words to really describe this well, but I'll do my best. B1 is an amazing person. He loves me when I'm pregnant, with stretch marks and a Ding Dong in each hand. He loves me when I'm cranky, and loves me when I'm fed up with our kids. He lets me travel to see my parents whenever I want, and doesn't complain when I put my sister's volleyball team ahead of everything else in life. He cleans our house on his day off so I don't have to do it on my day off. I couldn't ask for a better man to spend eternity with.
3. The LDS temples - though I don't go as often as I should, every time I do go I'm reminded of why it's so awesome to be LDS. Everything about our religion just makes sense, and the temple is the cherry on top. It's the only place you can go where you can instantly feel at peace, where you forget you are serving others, and where there are no comparisons about who is pretty, richer, smarter, or anything else. Plus, it's a great way to get answers to prayers that you just can't anywhere else.
4. Baskin Robbins Mint Chocolate Chip ice cream, because everything is right with the world when you're eating a pint of that in bed watching TV. At least, until the spoon scraps the bottom.
5. Dave Ramsey - with his plan, we went from being over $25,000 in debt and us not being able to afford having me stay at home with our kids, to being debt free (except our house), feeling like we got a huge pay raise, and my resignation notice in so that starting in late January 2011, I get to finally be a SAHM mom!
6. My job - 5 1/2 years ago, I was unemployed and desperate. A friend of mine got me an interview at CP, and after some begging and pleading I was offered a job. On my first day, this friend quit. I almost walked out as well, but stayed, and I am so glad I did! I've had the best time at CP that I've had at any job. The people are amazing, and I have learned so much about business, management, and dealing with people. The only thing that could pull me away from CP is my kids.
7. My kids - I know I've had some hard times with my kids (most especially every day from June 2009 to May 2010 with B2--age three sucked!!), but coming home at the end of the day, seeing B2 run up to me while screaming, "MOMMY!" and then giving me a big hug, and watching D's face light up when he sees me just melts my heart. No matter how many things I do wrong, they forgive me and I'm still (as B2 often says) their best friend.
8. Prayer, especially B2's prayers. B2 is now saying his prayers mostly by himself, and I love it! I love listening to him literally telling his Heavenly Father about his day, and I love hearing him spend so much time praying for others. It helps me understand more why we are commanded to become like little children.
9. Extended family. Recently, B1's company announced that they were going to be reducing their airport staff in Salt Lake, as well as a few other airports, and moving those pilots to either Houston or Minneapolis. We were devastated at the idea of being forced to move away from so much family (within about an hour's drive, I have 3 of my 4 siblings, B1's parents, his sister, my grandpa's wife, my grandma, and a large number of B1's and my cousins, aunts, and uncles). Thankfully, we later found out that they decided instead to make the move voluntary, so we will be staying in Salt Lake a little longer. While I appreciated having family so close before this happened, I'm even more grateful now.
10. My sisters, Beez and Rinz. Beez and I have been working together for the last two years, and it's been great to see her all the time. Beez and I didn't really get along too well as kids (I think it was largely our ages, but I was also a nerd while Beez was more outgoing), but we get along great now. It has also been a blast cheering Rinz on at her volleyball games (and trying to be cool by association with all her fun teammates), and hanging out with her whenever we can in the off season. Plus, both Rinz and Beez married awesome husbands, which just makes life that much better. They babysit my kids, and they drive (in their words) "all the way out there" to our house to hang out, which I know can be time consuming. So, basically, they're awesome, and I feel lucky to be their sister.
11. My many nieces' and nephews' birth mothers, who sacrificed so much so that my sisters-in-law can have babies of their own. I hope you understand what an amazing gift you have given not only to them, but to the many extended family members who love them so much too.

I know there's so much more. I could start listing each person in my family and extended family, but I'm not sure anyone wants to read that. Plus, wherever I stop, someone will be left out and I don't want to make that person (or people) feel bad. So, this is by no means an exhaustive list, and I'll try to express my gratitude more often.

Dear Glee

Dear Glee,

I never thought I'd say this, but we have to split up. We've had some good times, and I'll look back on those times fondly. But no matter how much I love you, this has to happen. It's not me; it's you. You're no good for me. You've changed. At first, you were this sweet, endearing TV show. But, I guess you've spent too much time hanging out with those other trashy TV shows, and now you're turning in to them. I wish you'd go back to the way you were. If you do, maybe we can hook up again. But until then, we need to go our different ways.

With much fondness and sadness,

Me

You wish you were cool enough...

...to work for my company. Here are pictures taken for our Halloween costume contest.

(Don't get it? Check out the original video here and the remix video here).

 Nachooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

I'm glad I didn't try to win the costume contest this year...my attempts at winning would have been shameful compared to this year's competition.

Corneal Abrasian

Last week I had an unfortunate, and rather inconvenient, trip to the ER, and surprisingly I was the patient. I think in my whole life I've been the patient in an ER once, and it was when I fell off my bike and fractured my jaw. At least, I'm pretty sure I went to the ER; I don't really remember the details, just the blood pouring from my jaw and the thought of "OW OW OW OW OW" (I was too young to swear back then...).

So, back to last week's story. It was Monday night, and I was preparing for my company's quarterly retreat. My plan was to put the boys to bed, do some laundry, clean my house, and pack for me and the kids (the kiddos were staying at my in-laws' house). I got D to bed and started picking up his room, when my eye had an unfortunate and sudden interaction with a cardboard box--and not just any cardboard box, but a Costco sized Huggies box, which means it was a heavy duty cardboard box. And not just any part of the box, but the corner of the lid, so it was nice and sharp. The next thing I knew, I was on my knees in absolute pain. My eye was watering so badly that I swore it was bleeding. I couldn't open my eyelid, and felt like I was storing part of the box under my eyelid as a memento. After a minute, the pain hadn't subsided, so I went to my bathroom to see if I could find a piece of cardboard or something in my eye. My eyelid was practically glued shut, and when I tried to force it open the pain was so intense (not to mention my eye was super sensitive to the light) that I gave up trying and just sat on the toilet and cried. Poor B2 -- he came in and tried to help me, but I was trying so hard not to scare him (I was already imaging the phone calls he would make to random people in my phone directory -- "Hi someone-Mommy-hasn't-talked-to-in-weeks-or-years, my mommy is crying on the toilet and can't see anything. Wanna come play?") that I tried not to cry in his presence and asked him to go play in another room. After a few more minutes--or seconds, as this pain was making time seem non-existent--I finally called my mother-in-law to come look at it. She brought over my father-in-law, just in case, and were at my house in a short time. Meanwhile, the OCD part of me figured that if I'm going to go the ER, at least I should change B2's sheets so he can sleep in clean sheets. So, I changed his bed, one eye tightly closed and the pain making me weak.

My mother-in-law came over, and I was finally able to pry open my eye enough for her to see it. When I did that, I realized that my vision was completely blurred--I could barely see straight ahead. It was almost as bad as looking through frosted glass (the stuff in your shower, not the kind when it snows). I finally resolved that I should go to the ER, because I was terrified that I was going to go blind in that eye. And, the worst part about that? I couldn't play sports anymore. Yes, honest to goodness, that was my fear. :) So, my father-in-law and neighbor give me a blessing, my father-in-law stays back to watch the kids, and my mother-in-law drives me to the hospital.

We get to the ER and get admitted almost immediately. Why, you ask? Because we missed the urgent care closings by about 10 minutes. Go figure--this can't be a CHEAP stupid mistake, it has to be an EXPENSIVE stupid mistake. Anyway, at the ER, they give me some numbing drops (joy of joys), I finally start to relax (my pulse at the intake was 117 beats per minute, nearly double my resting rate. My mother-in-law made sure to point out that at least I was burning some extra calories), and after what seems like forever the doctor (and his med student shadow) come in. He puts the magnifying machine up to my eye and starts to tell me that he'll add these drops that will make my injury able to be seen when he said, "Well, actually, I can see it right here--I don't even need the drops!" He adds them anyway to show the full extent of the damage, and here's approximately what it looked like:

(The bright green is the injury; and yes, I wish I had gotten a picture of my actual injury--it was probably slightly smaller than this, and more circular)

He confidently announces that I have a corneal abrasion, meaning that I scratched off part of my cornea against that stupid box. For those who don't remember 9th grade biology:

The cornea is the outer part of the area that protects the pupil, which is actually a hole. So, basically, it keeps stuff out of your eye hole, and I had scratched off a good chunk of mine--approximately the diameter of a small pea. So, they give me some antibiotics and generic LorTab (thank goodness!), tell me I'll be good in 36-48 hours, and send me on my way, a few hundred dollars poorer and still in absolutely misery (the numbing drops wore off much faster than the LorTab kicked in).

To make an already-too-long story just a bit shorter, I was in terrible pain the next day. It felt like I had a piece of glass under my eyelid, and every time my eyelid twitched or my eyeball moved (which happens WAY more than you think...), it sent a sharp pain to my eye. By Wednesday morning, the sharp pains were gone, and was replaced with a dull pain like I had been poked in the eye really hard. Oh, wait, I had... On Wednesday, I was also able to keep my eye open for brief (but lengthening) amounts of time. By Thursday, the pain was completely gone and I could keep my eye open all the time; however, the vision in that eye was still blurry. I went to a check up with an eye doctor on Friday, and he said that it will take about 2-3 weeks for my vision to completely return. But, every day I notice improvements, and only really have difficulty with reading small print.

That's the story of my expensive stupidity. So, lesson learned: look before you bend down to pick up wipes off the floor, because you just might rip out half of your eye.

Funny Things B2 Says

On September 7, we were on our way to the pediatrician's office for D's 15-month check up. I told B2 where we were going. When we started driving, B2 said, "Hurry quick! We have to go to the doctor!" I asked why, and he said, "We have to, before D grows up!"

On September 23, we were at my little sister's volleyball game. My parents were tree, plus my other sister Beez. My dad was in the hall talking to coach after the match when B2 came up and said, "Hey Grandpa, wanna go talk to my girls?" (referring to me, Beez, Rinz, and my mom).

On October 3 we were at my in-laws to watch Conference. Whenever we leave, B2 likes to roll down the window an say bye. This time, he said, "Hey Grandma, we'll come over next time, and we'll have fruit snacks and cheese sandwich, or maybe Mac and Cheese, and I'll bring Baby over." He had that outing all planned out!

Tales from preschool

The following stories come from Brian's preschool teacher, Miss A. The rest are in her words:
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After they are done drawing in their journal  I tell them to come over and we write their story.  B2's always goes on and on.  Like today, he started off by saying he drew a "block with blue"  Then he said, "I was scared.  My mom scared me by the car.  I yelled and my dad came out and ask what was wrong. I said Mom scared me.  We were by the car."
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The other day we were talking about being important and that we had a family who loved us and we are important in our family.  I ask who was in their family.  I got to B2 and asked him.  He said, Mom, Dad and B2. I said, "What about D?"  B2 responded that D lives in his crib, not his house.

One random pic

This was the sunrise in front of our condo the other day. Pretty awesome, huh?

Awesome talk

 I really needed this this morning, so I'm sharing. (Source)

Happiness, Your Heritage

President Dieter F. Uchtdorf
Second Counselor in the First Presidency

Our birthright—and the purpose of our great voyage on this earth—is to seek and experience eternal happiness.

My dear sisters, I am grateful for this, my first opportunity to speak to the women of the Church gathered together in all parts of the world. We are especially honored today with the presence of President Monson and President Eyring. The choir has touched our hearts. We have been inspired by the messages of Sister Thompson, Sister Allred, and Sister Beck.

Since learning that I would be with you today, I have thought about the many women who have shaped my life: my wonderful wife, Harriet; my mother; my mother-in-law; my sister; my daughter; my daughter-in-law; and many friends. All my life I have been surrounded by women who inspired, taught, and encouraged me. I am who I am today in large part because of these singular women. Each time I meet with the sisters of the Church, I sense that I am in the midst of similar remarkable souls. I am grateful to be here, grateful for your talents, compassion, and service. Most of all, I am grateful for who you are: treasured daughters of our Heavenly Father with infinite worth.

I’m sure it comes as no surprise, but the differences between men and women can often be quite striking—physically and mentally, as well as emotionally. One of the best ways I can think of to illustrate this is in the way my wife and I cook a meal.

When Harriet prepares a meal, it’s a masterpiece. Her cuisine is as wide-ranging as the world, and she frequently prepares dishes from countries we have visited. The presentation of the food is awe inspiring. In fact, it often looks so beautiful that it seems a crime to eat it. It’s as much a feast for the eyes as it is for the sense of taste.

But sure enough, no matter how perfect everything is, looks, and tastes, Harriet will apologize for something she thinks is imperfect. “I’m afraid I used a touch too much ginger,” she will say, or, “Next time, I think it would be better if I used a little more curry and one additional bay leaf.”

Let me contrast that with the way I cook. For the purpose of this talk, I asked Harriet to tell me what I cook best.

Her answer: fried eggs.

Sunny-side up.

But that isn’t all. I have a specialty dish called Knusperchen. The name may sound like a delicacy you might find at an exclusive restaurant. Let me share with you how to make it. You cut French bread into small slices and toast them twice.

That is the recipe!

So, between fried eggs, even when they are greasy, and Knusperchen, even when they are burned, when I cook, I feel pretty heroic.

Perhaps this contrast between my wife and me is a slight exaggeration, but it illustrates something that may extend beyond preparing meals.

To me it appears that our splendid sisters sometimes undervalue their abilities—they focus on what is lacking or imperfect rather than what has been accomplished and who they really are.

Perhaps you recognize this trait in someone you know really well.

The good news is that this also points to an admirable quality: the innate desire to please the Lord to the best of your ability. Unfortunately, it can also lead to frustration, exhaustion, and unhappiness.

To All Who Are Weary
Today I would like to speak to those who have ever felt inadequate, discouraged, or weary—in short, I would like to speak to all of us.

I also pray that the Holy Ghost will amplify my words and bestow upon them additional meaning, insight, and inspiration.

We know that sometimes it can be difficult to keep our heads above water. In fact, in our world of change, challenges, and checklists, sometimes it can seem nearly impossible to avoid feeling overwhelmed by emotions of suffering and sorrow.

I am not suggesting that we can simply flip a switch and stop the negative feelings that distress us. This isn’t a pep talk or an attempt to encourage those sinking in quicksand to imagine instead they are relaxing on a beach. I recognize that in all of our lives there are real concerns. I know there are hearts here today that harbor deep sorrows. Others wrestle with fears that trouble the soul. For some, loneliness is their secret trial.
These things are not insignificant.

However, I would like to speak about two principles that may help you find a path to peace, hope, and joy—even during times of trial and distress. I want to speak about God’s happiness and how each one of us can taste of it in spite of the burdens that beset us.

God’s Happiness
Let me first pose a question: What do you suppose is the greatest kind of happiness possible? For me, the answer to this question is, God’s happiness.

This leads to another question: What is our Heavenly Father’s happiness?

This may be impossible to answer because His ways are not our ways. “For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are [God’s] ways higher than [our] ways, and [His] thoughts [higher] than [our] thoughts.”

Though we cannot understand “the meaning of all things,” we do “know that [God] loveth his children” because He has said, “Behold, this is my work and my glory—to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man.”

Heavenly Father is able to accomplish these two great goals—the immortality and eternal life of man—because He is a God of creation and compassion. Creating and being compassionate are two objectives that contribute to our Heavenly Father’s perfect happiness. Creating and being compassionate are two activities that we as His spirit children can and should emulate.

The Work of Creation
The desire to create is one of the deepest yearnings of the human soul. No matter our talents, education, backgrounds, or abilities, we each have an inherent wish to create something that did not exist before.
Everyone can create. You don’t need money, position, or influence in order to create something of substance or beauty.

Creation brings deep satisfaction and fulfillment. We develop ourselves and others when we take unorganized matter into our hands and mold it into something of beauty—and I am not talking about the process of cleaning the rooms of your teenage children.

You might say, “I’m not the creative type. When I sing, I’m always half a tone above or below the note. I cannot draw a line without a ruler. And the only practical use for my homemade bread is as a paperweight or as a doorstop.”

If that is how you feel, think again, and remember that you are spirit daughters of the most creative Being in the universe. Isn’t it remarkable to think that your very spirits are fashioned by an endlessly creative and eternally compassionate God? Think about it—your spirit body is a masterpiece, created with a beauty, function, and capacity beyond imagination.

But to what end were we created? We were created with the express purpose and potential of experiencing a fulness of joy. Our birthright—and the purpose of our great voyage on this earth—is to seek and experience eternal happiness. One of the ways we find this is by creating things.

If you are a mother, you participate with God in His work of creation—not only by providing physical bodies for your children but also by teaching and nurturing them. If you are not a mother now, the creative talents you develop will prepare you for that day, in this life or the next.

You may think you don’t have talents, but that is a false assumption, for we all have talents and gifts, every one of us.⁵ The bounds of creativity extend far beyond the limits of a canvas or a sheet of paper and do not require a brush, a pen, or the keys of a piano. Creation means bringing into existence something that did not exist before—colorful gardens, harmonious homes, family memories, flowing laughter.

What you create doesn’t have to be perfect. So what if the eggs are greasy or the toast is burned? Don’t let fear of failure discourage you. Don’t let the voice of critics paralyze you—whether that voice comes from the outside or the inside.

If you still feel incapable of creating, start small. Try to see how many smiles you can create, write a letter of appreciation, learn a new skill, identify a space and beautify it.

Nearly a century and a half ago, President Brigham Young spoke to the Saints of his day. “There is a great work for the Saints to do,” he said. “Progress, and improve upon and make beautiful everything around you. Cultivate the earth, and cultivate your minds. Build cities, adorn your habitations, make gardens, orchards, and vineyards, and render the earth so pleasant that when you look upon your labors you may do so with pleasure, and that angels may delight to come and visit your beautiful locations. In the mean time continually seek to adorn your minds with all the graces of the Spirit of Christ."

The more you trust and rely upon the Spirit, the greater your capacity to create. That is your opportunity in this life and your destiny in the life to come. Sisters, trust and rely on the Spirit. As you take the normal opportunities of your daily life and create something of beauty and helpfulness, you improve not only the world around you but also the world within you.

Being Compassionate
Being compassionate is another great work of our Heavenly Father and a fundamental characteristic of who we are as a people. We are commanded to “succor the weak, lift up the hands which hang down, and strengthen the feeble knees.” Disciples of Christ throughout all ages of the world have been distinguished by their compassion. Those who follow the Savior “mourn with those that mourn . . . and comfort those that stand in need of comfort.”

When we reach out to bless the lives of others, our lives are blessed as well. Service and sacrifice open the windows of heaven, allowing choice blessings to descend upon us. Surely our beloved Heavenly Father smiles upon those who care for the least of His children.

As we lift others, we rise a little higher ourselves. President Spencer W. Kimball taught, “The more we serve our fellowmen in appropriate ways, the more substance there is to our souls.”

President Gordon B. Hinckley believed in the healing power of service. After the death of his wife, he provided a great example to the Church in the way he immersed himself in work and in serving others. It is told that President Hinckley remarked to one woman who had recently lost her husband, “Work will cure your grief. Serve others.”

These are profound words. As we lose ourselves in the service of others, we discover our own lives and our own happiness.

President Lorenzo Snow expressed a similar thought: “When you find yourselves a little gloomy, look around you and find somebody that is in a worse plight than yourself; go to him and find out what the trouble is, then try to remove it with the wisdom which the Lord bestows upon you; and the first thing you know, your gloom is gone, you feel light, the Spirit of the Lord is upon you, and everything seems illuminated.”

In today’s world of pop psychology, junk TV, and feel-good self-help manuals, this advice may seem counterintuitive. We are sometimes told that the answer to our ills is to look inward, to indulge ourselves, to spend first and pay later, and to satisfy our own desires even at the expense of those around us. While there are times when it is prudent to look first to our own needs, in the long run it doesn’t lead to lasting happiness.

An Instrument in the Hands of the Lord
I believe that the women of the Church, regardless of age or family status, understand and apply best the words of James Barrie, the author of Peter Pan: “Those who bring sunshine to the lives of others cannot keep it from themselves.” Often I have witnessed quiet acts of kindness and compassion by noble women who extended themselves in unselfish charity. My heart swells when I hear stories of the sisters of the Church and how they rush to the aid of those in need.

There are those in the Church—both men and women—who wonder how they can contribute to the kingdom. Sometimes women who are single, divorced, or widowed wonder if there is a place for them. Every sister in the Church is of critical importance—not only to our Heavenly Father but also to the building of the kingdom of God as well. There is a great work to do.

One year ago in this meeting, President Monson taught that “you are . . . surrounded by opportunities for service. . . . Often small acts of service are all that is required to lift and bless another.” Look around you. There at sacrament meeting is a young mother with several children—offer to sit with her and help. There in your neighborhood is a young man who seems discouraged—tell him you enjoy being in his presence, that you feel his goodness. True words of encouragement require only a loving and caring heart but may have an eternal impact on the life of those around you.

You wonderful sisters render compassionate service to others for reasons that supersede desires for personal benefits. In this you emulate the Savior, who, though a king, did not seek position, nor was He concerned about whether others noticed Him. He did not bother to compete with others. His thoughts were always tuned to help others. He taught, healed, conversed, and listened to others. He knew that greatness had little to do with outward signs of prosperity or position. He taught and lived by this doctrine: “He that is greatest among you shall be your servant.”

In the end, the number of prayers we say may contribute to our happiness, but the number of prayers we answer may be of even greater importance. Let us open our eyes and see the heavy hearts, notice the loneliness and despair; let us feel the silent prayers of others around us, and let us be an instrument in the hands of the Lord to answer those prayers.

Conclusion
My dear sisters, I have a simple faith. I believe that as you are faithful and diligent in keeping the commandments of God, as you draw closer to Him in faith, hope, and charity, things will work together for your good. I believe that as you immerse yourselves in the work of our Father—as you create beauty and as you are compassionate to others—God will encircle you in the arms of His love. Discouragement, inadequacy, and weariness will give way to a life of meaning, grace, and fulfillment.

As spirit daughters of our Heavenly Father, happiness is your heritage.

You are choice daughters of our Heavenly Father, and through the things you create and by your compassionate service, you are a great power for good. You will make the world a better place. Lift up your chin; walk tall. God loves you. We love and admire you.

Of this I testify, and leave you my blessing as an Apostle of the Lord, in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

Random pictures

Here are just a few random pictures

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D in his high chair -- I was trying to get him to sign "more" (he does it by putting his right index finger into the palm of his left hand), and instead he gave me this cute, mischievous grin.

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Random pic of D - between his khaki pants, white onesie, and potbelly, he looks an awfully lot like an old man--except for the baby face.

Proof that there is just a bit of my side in B2: he has started his own booger wall, just like my brother J. Don't worry--we cleaned it off and painted over it.

The Family Reunion

Every since Brian and I started dating, his family has had a reunion once a year (this is, of course, separate from all the baby blessings, baptisms, Christmas parties, and other get-togethers his family does). I love it!! I think it's wonderful that his family is so close. When we first started attending together (we were engaged), the reunion was his grandfather's family, so it included all his aunts and cousins on his dad's side. Lately, they've only been doing his immediate family. This year's reunion included a trip to Lagoon, camping, pool time, and quite a few activities that we missed due to work. So, here's a quick recap of some of this year's festivities. (For photos, visit the private version of this blog)


July 5th: Pool Party! Plus, that night, we did fireworks in front of B1's sister's house. I'm glad B1 was able to be there! He loves to blow stuff up.

July 9th-11th: Camping near Strawberry Reservoir

Amazing video

I got an email with a link to this video nearly two years ago, but never watched it. At the time I received it, I didn't have time to watch it immediately, so it's sat in my inbox ever since then. I just watched it, and it's exactly what I needed right now. I hope you enjoy it.

Manners

I got on this new email distribution list at a website called iMom.com. The email list is called "Espresso Minute" - basically, it's an idea list of things you can teach your kids or play with them and so on. Today's minute is on teaching your kids manners, which a list of the top 10 manners your kids should know. I thought it was interesting, and I definitely want to work on some of these with B2:

1. Put others first: This could be the only point we need to make, because it's at the root of all the others. This principle is manifest in holding doors, stepping aside, offering the last cookie, giving up your seat, changing a tire, saying "no, after you…", carrying groceries, offering a hand.
2. Polite phone protocol: This item could have its own list! Turn the phone off during meals, movies, classes and conversations. This includes texting. Bottom line - give 100% attention to the people you are physically with. Your phone has a voice mail feature – use it!
3. The thank-you note: There are two kinds of people in this world: those who write thank-you notes for gifts or special occasions, and those who don't. Teach your kids to write thank you notes and they will have understood a foundational concept. Nothing elaborate is necessary, but the effect is always memorable.
4. Open the door for others: Contrary to popular myth, this is not a chauvinistic practice. Door-holders open for their peers, their mothers, their dads, and strangers. They also yield the sidewalk and hold the elevator. There's no stopping them. Good manners always say, "After you."
5. Use "Thank-you" and "You're welcome" routinely in conversation: Simple but powerful. Help the kids make it a habit. This is one you need to model at your end.
6. Shake hands and make eye contact: Teach kids to shake hands, to make eye contact and to offer a word of welcome when they meet new people or when others visit the home. It may be a cliché to say first impressions make a big impact, but it's a cliché because it's true.
7. Teach them to offer to serve people who enter your home: Make it routine - "May I take your coat?" "Would you like a glass of water?" "Let me take your bags…" People who visit are our guests.  This is a key lesson, no matter what a child's age.
8. Stand up when an elder enters the room: Many adults have forgotten this gem.  It's a sign of respect no matter what our age. Grandparents? Aunts and uncles? Teachers? Any visitor to the home. Teach children to stand as a sign of respect.
9. Be polite to people who serve: This means make eye contact and turn your phone off when talking to the cashier at the fast food restaurant or at the grocery. It means being respectful to the server at the restaurant. It means saying "thank you" when you're given food or change. Try thanking the bus driver for the ride home or a soldier for serving our country.
10. Practice manners at family mealtimes: Family dinners can be a perfect venue for manners. Demonstrate, practice, model, question, prompt. No TV, no phones, no distractions from polite interaction. "Please pass the potatoes…"  "Thanks…" "Can I get that for you?" "Mom, can I pour you a glass of water?" The family unit is the most important venue to learn social graces and family mealtimes are maybe our best opportunity.

What a gentleman my little boy could be!! Am I a nerd because I'm excited to teach my kids manners? :)

What B2 does when he's supposed to be sleeping

Much needed post

Lately, I've really sucked at posting to this blog, as I'm sure you can tell. This won't be the greatest update--that will come as soon as I install PhotoShop on my new computer (I LOVE YOU MOM AND DAD!!!). In the meantime, here are some funny things B2 said tonight:

* After giving me Stuck Kisses -- "Ew, gross, you have slobber on your cheek!"
* During his prayer - "Please bless Baby [his penguin] and Monkey [his Curious George stuffed animal] - they're my sons."
* After I told B2 he couldn't have a cookie unless he ate his dinner, he sighed in exasperation and said, "Fine, whatever!" Since when did my 4-year-old turn 15?

Photo update to come soon!

Funny Things B2 Says

April 13th--B2 experiences a new meteorological occurrence known as hail. B1 was home, so he took B2 out onto our patio so he could experience it firsthand. He lets B2 stick his hand out in the hail, then run to the edge of our "front yard" and back. B1 asked B2 what he thought of the hail. B2's response?


"Hail...it's raining out there!"

What Am I Missing?

This morning I was in at our mechanic's shop getting my safety and emisssions test so I can register my car again. After that was done ($50 later), I went to the dentist. I was hoping for another great check-up (last time no cavities!), but would have even been okay with a decent check-up. Instead, I got the crappy check-up--one of my teeth is cracking, which means I need to get a crown put on quickly or it will eventually mean a root canal...and a crown. So, I can pay $400+ now, or I can pay a whole lot more later. I'm opting for the $400+ now. Oh, and I have a cavity too, so this next visit to the dentist will cost us almost $500. And this all comes after B1's recent vision check-up in which the doctor said his contacts were ruining his eyes and that he better find ways to not wear them as much or he'll go blind, so now we're looking into Lasik for him. Welcome Murphy...do you need a bedroom??

Anyway, so I was feeling pretty sorry for myself this morning, and was trying to catch up on my blog reading since I had so much time sitting around, when I read this blog post by a girl in my ward. That pretty much sealed my crappy day. I thought about last night. It was the first night I had seen the kids in three days, since I've been at our quarterly retreat for work. D was thrilled to see me, and it was pretty dang cute. He wouldn't stop smiling for several minutes, and that was without me really playing with him. Jr couldn't care less. So, there was a mild fight to get him in the car, and then we drove home. We fought over his dinner (he wouldn't sit to eat it, and didn't finish), and then I turned on a movie so I could have some time without fighting. After the movie was over, Jr threw a tantrum about going to bed. I managed to read him two books, since I was getting frustrated that he wasn't listening but running all over his room and jumping on his bed. With both kids in bed, the rest of the evening went pretty smoothly. Then, this morning, D woke up to a massive blowout, and I tried to hurry to get the kids showered and ready so we could go to the mechanic's and then my dentist (they stayed with Grandma and Grandpa W for this part). When B2 was showering, he managed to take the bottle of baby shampoo (which was about 2/3 full), and dump the entire thing down the drain. Goodbye money! At the mechanic's store, he was playing on the floor, got his hands dirty, then wiped his hands all over his once-clean face. He asked 400 times if he could have a quarter to put in the machine to get candy, gum, nuts, and pretty much everything else they had there. He asked to watch a movie or play a game on the broken TV. I finally sat him down with my iPod to watch Spongebob via YouTube when they finished the car and we were off. I dropped him off at Grandma's house without issue, and you know how the dentist visit went, so let's fast forward to the pickup. B2 threw a fit about leaving Grandma's house. He wanted to keep playing on Grandpa's toy ATV, so I let him stay a bit longer because I was tired of the fights. By the time we got home, we ate lunch (while B2 ran around getting maple syrup on nearly every surface in the house), and I turned on a movie so I could make baby food for D. By 1:30, I was emotionally and physically exhausted, so I put B2 down for his nap (D was already down), and I watched half of Pride and Prejudice before falling asleep.

So, why the pity party? Besides the crappy results at the dentist office, I can't help but reflect on Lara's post. Bedtime for me means something completely different. Usually, bedtime with my kiddos means, "Hallelujah, it's almost Mommy Time!" I look forward to it so I can stop fighting with B2. I look back at the last 24 hours with my kids, and I feel like B2 and I have done almost nothing but fight. What am I missing? Why can't my experiences with my kids be wonderful? Sometimes I feel like I'm the only mom (excluding the obviously bad moms) who fights with her kids or wonders if we made the right decision to have kids after all. I think we must be doing something right, because B2 is a smart kid who is semi-well-behaved (probably well enough for a 3-almost-4-year-old).

So, please pardon my pity party. I just needed to vent. I'm sure I'm a good mom, and I'm sure all moms have days like today. Let's just hope that the rest of the day gets better.

A much needed update

I meant to finish this post a few weeks ago, so it's going to end up being only a few stories and mostly photos. I'm starting to follow a few photography blogs, and it gets me really excited to improve my photography. I don't by any means think I'm fantastic, but I think my subjects make up for a lot of my lack of skill. I mean, who can't capture cute pictures of these kids???

Okay, onto the stories. On March 16th, it was starting to warm up here in Utah (just a fluke though -- it was snowing today). So, after a very long winter indoors, we decided to take the kids to the park to get rid of some of B2's cabin fever. B2 was about to go down the slide, and B1, D, and I were sitting on the bench. B2 shouts out, "HAH! I've got you now fools!" B1 and I busted up laughing, and still have no idea where he got that phrase. Our best guess is Plankton (from Spongebob Squarepants).

Later that night, we put B2 to bed at his usual time (8:00 p.m.), and B1 and I settled in and watched some M*A*S*H. We turned out light off at 10:00, but heard B2 playing around still in his room. B1 got up to tell him to go to bed, walked in to his room, and saw B2 wearing his Batman hat, bomber jacket, backpack, and sandals. He must have been doing something important, because he also held his toy cell phone. He turned to his dad, and in all seriousness said, "Dad, I'm on the phone!" I think he was channeling a 15-year-old girl with that comment.

We went in to check on B2 during his nap, and found him asleep with his hat over his eyes. He seriously looked so much like a teenager that I think a few hairs fell off both B1's and my heads.

On March 21st, all of us were sitting in church during Sacrament meeting. It was really quiet (rather unusual for our ward) when B2 turned to me and said, "Guess what Mom? I love you."

Guess what B2? I love you too.

Yesterday was Monday, so it was back to work for me. B2 woke up before I left, so I got him settled into his routine of a Clif bar, sippy of milk, and some really long DVD to give Daddy as much time as possible to sleep in. I kissed B2 and told him I was leaving for work and that I loved him. His response? "I know Mom." Well, at least he knows. But, later that night, he was a little more sentimental. I had been home from work about half hour and was making him dinner. He randomly came up to me and gave me a hug, then said, "Mom, I'm glad you came back." It almost broke my heart to think that my boy thinks he's losing me every day, but at least I get to come home every night (at least, most nights -- next week is our quarterly managers retreat).

Okay, some random pictures, and then I'm going to try to comfort D because he's been crying for the last two hours. I think he's starting to get separation anxiety. Good thing B2 is gone, because I think D will be sleeping with me tonight.

Good night!

An Update

Well, it's time to update the blog again, so here it goes. About a week ago, B1 was working (big surprise--he credited over 100 hours in February, a new personal record!), and I was just getting home from picking up the kids at the babysitter's house. Our neighbors from upstairs were out walking their dog. As I said hi, B2 interrupted and started introducing himself (it's one of his favorite activities). He said, "I'm B, and this is D, and he's pretty cute, and he's a baby."

Last weekend, B, D, and I went to B1's cousin's daughter's baptism. (So, I guess that would make it B2's and D's second cousin's baptism.) All went well until the time came for the actual baptism. B2 went up to the font with the rest of his cousins and second cousins, and when the little girl went down into the water and back up, B2 said (about as loud as you can without actually yelling), "HOLY MY COW! He got her all wet!" We all started laughing, and B2 kept talking really loudly as the bishop tried to get him to quiet down. I finally had to go up to the font and tell him to be quiet. Poor kid...I guess we need to attend these a little more often so he understands the social norms.

Last week, D was diagnosed with a double ear infection. Poor kid--he was running really high fevers, and was all around miserable. We understood more of why he was so miserable on Sunday, when BOTH of his two bottom front teeth broke through. He was cutting two teeth while battling two ear infections. What a trooper!

D has been army crawling like no one's business. This kid is so fast! It just makes me melt because when I come home, he'll book it over to me and try to crawl into my lap so I can hold him. I love that he's such a momma's boy, since B2 only wanted to be near me when he was sick. But, now that he's teething, we've been giving D some Cheerios to munch on. He LOVES them, though he's still having a hard time figuring out how to get them in his mouth. That pincer grasp isn't far away though.

Yesterday was a milestone (albeit a sad one) for me - it was the first day in 9 months that I didn't nurse or pump. Yep, D is now on solids and formula. I did get a bit choked up when I put D to bed last night without nursing him. I didn't think it would bother me as much as it did. I had hoped to make it at least 10 months (I nursed/pumped for B2 for 10 months), but my last managers retreat pretty much killed it. It was so hard to get out any milk after going 3 days without nursing, so I've been struggling the last few months to maintain any type of supply. So, finally, this week I gave up. I take comfort in the fact that I at least got him through the worst part of the flu/cold season. We do have some pumped milk in the freezer that we'll give him for the next few weeks to hopefully give him a few more defenses against illnesses.

One last bit of news: we decorated our condo! I found this quote online, and liked it because it was different (most people out here have phrases like "All Because Two People Fell in Love" or something like that). Our graphic artist at work made it look nice, and I was able to print it on the vinyl at work as well. We absolutely LOVE it! I got all these frames for Christmas, and have been itching to put them up. I'm going to get that last of the pictures for the frames today, but am just so excited to be displaying some of the pictures of my family that I love so much.

A random picture

Since I was able to figure out how to get images and video off my phone, here is a random picture:

The past week at work, I spent nearly three hours going through old employee files where documents could be shredded, and then nearly another hour shredding those documents. I kept filling up bag after bag of shredded paper. As I was trying to stack them to get them out of the way until our building could be cleaned (note also the huge pile of trash at the bottom of the picture), I noticed it looked like a snowman. So, I grabbed my Sharpie, an orange post-it note, and a gray piece of paper, and made my friend Frosty here and left it by our Accounts Receivable/Payable person. We had a good laugh. Despite our building being cleaned several times, Frosty is still here.

Funny Things B2 Says Part 3 (I think)

Two funny B2 comments:

A few weeks ago, we were doing B2's favorite pastime - calling random family members so B2 could fill them in on all the happenings in his life, some of which can actually be understood. This particular night, we had called several different people but only got answering machines. Finally, B2 asks if he can call his Aunt Rinz. I dialed the phone, turned on the speaker, locked the keyboard, and handed him the phone (I was driving at the time). Just before it started ringing, I heard B2 whisper, "This is gonna be great!" I was reminded of little Ralphie--"'What I want for Christmas. What I want for Christmas is a Red Ryder BB gun with a compass in the stock and this thing which tells time.' Wow, that's great." I giggled about that for several days.


This morning we were in church. We had just started singing the sacrament hymn when B2 declared he had to go potty...of course. B1 was ushering, so I grabbed D in his car seat and took B2 to the potty. Since we didn't get done before the hymn was over, we stayed in the foyer to take the sacrament. We were sitting on the floor, B2 in my lap, when I planted a big kiss on his cheek. He turned away and said, "No mommy. I don't need kisses. I have plenty of kisses from bedtime." I chuckled, and gave him more kisses just so he wouldn't run out. I figure I only have a few more years before he becomes so horrified at the thought of his mom kissing him in public, so I'd better make the most of it.

This kid just cracks me up. Sometimes he repeats our phrases but at random times, and other times I have no idea where he comes up with what comes out of his mouth, but it often gets me laughing pretty hard.

Cabin Fever

Okay, I'm going to admit something embarrassing here, because...well, because I don't have any other great ideas for a blog post right now but I am feeling the urge to blog. I really, really want to be a stay-at-home mom (no, that's not the embarrassing part), but I am a bit scared too. Why, you ask? No, not the we're-quickly-running-out-of-money possibility, or the I'm-up-to-my-elbows-in-poop...again inevitablity, or even the I've-been-speaking-in-baby-language-so-long-I-don't-even-remember-words-that-actually-show-up-in-the-dictionary scenario. Nope, I'm mostly scared of the what-the-....-are-we-going-to-do-today and the I-must-be-a-bad-mom-if-I-let-my-three-year-old-watch-17-hours-of-TV-daily scenarios.

Right now, my weekends home with my kids are so packed because they are spent doing all the crap I don't have the energy to do mid-week, like go grocery shopping or cleaning the house. By the time I pick the kids up from the babysitters mid-week, I have just enough time to go home, make and eat dinner, and get the kids ready for bed, and then they're down for the night. There's no limit (exaggeration, I know) to the things that I can do to occupy myself, but how the heck do you occupy a three-year-old for hours and hours? I swear, they need an internship for something like this, where you can go to another mom's house (one with young kids at home) and watch all the creative and fun activities she does every day with her toddler. Or, maybe there's a book out there that's got good ideas, but not one of those thousands of books that says things like, "Play jacks" or "Push a big metal hoop with a stick and run after it."

I need to start compiling my own book of fun activities for young children living in hel...er, Utah...where you can't go outside for months on end without fear of losing trivials like toes. So, here are a few ideas I have, and I would LOVE any comments from others out there. This blog post will come in handy whenever I am able to finally be a stay-at-home mom.

* Finger paint - make as big a mess as possible
* Hide and seek in the house (or outside, if weather permits)
* Invite a neighbor kid over to play
* Make cookies, bread, or something else whimsical that the kiddos can mostly do (or decorate) themselves
* Color
* Go for a bike ride
* Walk the dog (because we WILL have a dog someday, dang it, and he'll love to go on walks to 7-11 just like my Scooter did before he got old and we all moved away)
* Write a letter to Grandma and Grandpa

That's pretty much all my ideas. So, I'm guessing you can see now why I'm so freaked out about being responsible for providing hours upon hours of entertainment. For those who have young kids, had young kids at one point, who hope to have young kids, or who just have great ideas, what else can I do with my kids to keep them entertained???

Some random stories

Although it hasn't been that long since my last post, it seems like forever because so much as happened that I wanted to blog about. So, let's go chronologically.

A few weeks ago, B1 and I went to Chilis for dinner with the boys. My boss gave us a gift card there for Christmas, so we figured it was a good time to use it. Well, it wasn't really, since we went on a Friday night at 6:15 and the placed was PACKED and it was freaking cold. I won't go into why it took us nearly an hour to be seated when they quoted me 10-15 minutes, but that's mainly because I have no idea why that happened. Anyway, we had an amazing server who was friendly, fast, and most likely gay. B1 had him running with how fast he was downing his lemonades, so finally the server brought B1 two glasses with the comment, "You're a heavy drinker." Oh, if only he knew... I started laughing and have been giving him crap ever since. That was pretty much the highlight of the evening, since my once-delicious food turned into stomach cramps and--um, use your imagination--when I discovered a huge nasty hair only millimeters from where I stopped eating. My stomach is churning just thinking about it. We'll probably go back to Chilis again, because our waiter was awesome and because we have another gift card, but I'm definitely not ordering that dish next time. And we're not going on a Friday night again.

Last Sunday, February 7th, was even grosser than my experience at Chilis, but also funnier. In the morning as we were getting ready for church, I was playing with D. One of his favorite games is when we lift him into the air like we are going to toss him, but without letting go, and then bringing him back down. He always get a huge grin on his face. We may have another aviator on our hands... Anyway, so I was playing with D by lifting him into the air, but I was sitting on the bed so D was directly above my head. I was giving D a big grin when suddenly...*BARF*.... D spits up and it lands directly in my mouth!!! Luckily, we had a burp cloth close and I quickly wiped out my mouth, but B1 started gagging a bit (he, of course, saw the whole thing). I guess I was lucky that B2never barfed in my mouth as a baby. In fact, most of the gross stuff seems to happen to other people (like Beez getting B2's diarrhea all over her pants and newly-replaced carpet). There goes my streak.

That same day, B2 gave his first talk in Primary! I was so proud of him. I managed not to be a total dork and cry at how my little baby is growing up, but I did boast about what a great job he did and how he talked loudly (but not too loudly) in the microphone and only twice went off subject telling stories that inevitable would have ended with something Mommy and Daddy don't want the ward to know. :) B2's topic was "I know Heavenly Father loves me" and consisted of blessings we have been given that show that Heavenly Father loves us -- temples, families, the earth, and Jesus's sacrifice, to name a few.

Last week we had two unfortunate milestones -- first, it seems that D also has night terrors (it's going to be a fun couple of years...), and second, it appears that B2 is now sleepwalking in addition to having night terrors. Why can't I have children who have normal sleep patterns? Last week B1 was gone on a trip. I was up finishing a book; at about 11:00 p.m., I heard B2 calling my name. He wasn't screaming like he does when he has night terrors, but he was whimpering a bit, so I got out of bed to check on him. I found him in the corner of his room, sitting on his rocking horse, whimpering my name. I led him back to bed, and he was out cold before his head hit the pillow. It was really weird. I can't image that it was anything other than sleep walking, because he was not awake when I found him. I don't think it's related to the night terrors, or at least he wasn't have a night terror at the time, because he wasn't screaming his ever-loving head off. It was very bizarre. It hasn't happened since, so let's hope it isn't a common occurrence.

On the bright side, I think B2 is coming out of the terrible threes. He's still having some problems with pooping in his pants, but mainly the tantrums seem to be going away and the sweet boy I barely remembered is coming back. The tantrums/disobedience are the worst at night and in the morning, but he seems to be doing a lot better during the day. Though, I suspect that's easy for me to say, since I only see him a few hours a day most of the time.