Wow, what a week! It has been another crazy week. After we found out that our appraisal on our house came in under the purchase price, we submitted an addendum to the sellers (to then be forwarded to the bank) to amend the purchase price to the appraisal price and to adjust our financing and closing dates, as it would no longer be possible to meet the original dates in our contract. A few days after submitting the addendum to the sellers, our agent spent several days trying to reach the seller's agent to confirm that they had signed the addendum and forwarded it on the bank--no response. So, we were even more frustrated at our limbo status because we didn't even know if our paperwork was being considered by the bank yet, but we figured this was the price we were paying for buying a short sale. Nervous about the possibility that we might end up waiting months for the bank to approve the addendum (during which time our contract would expire and I could potentially have this baby and we could wear out our welcome at my in-laws' house), B1 and I scheduled to go see some new houses on Thursday night. At 4:00 p.m. Thursday night, we got a phone call from our agent that our buyer for our condo would not be able to close on Monday as we had expected, and would be requesting a few more days. B1 and I tried to just laugh (even though we were irritated), as we had spent all day Thursday packing up the essentials of our house in preparation for our move the next day. Not only was our house packed, we had reserved a rental truck, paid for a storage unit, notified friends and family that we would need help moving, and scheduled the termination of our utilities for Monday, allowing us time to move on Friday and clean the entire condo on Saturday. We were past the point of no return, and had to move out even though we could have stayed in our place for a few more days. So, anyway, back to the showings. We went and saw two houses. One was the exact same floorplan as the house we currently had our contract on, but their basement was completely finished and the yard wasn't quite as nice. As much as we tried to convince ourselves that it was the same thing, we just couldn't get over the fact that we wanted "our" house more. The other house we didn't like at all. So, we were back to hoping that everything would work out and we could still get in "our" house and settled long before this baby comes.
On Friday morning, we moved out. We started at 10:00 a.m., and with the wonderful help of family and some friends in the ward, we were done by 1:30--this included those helping us driving to the storage unit and my in-laws' house (multiple times) to also help us unload. We then sent everyone home and B1 and I spent the rest of the afternoon packing up what we hadn't packed before everyone showed up, and making a few more trips to empty out our condo. Friday morning, while packing and moving, we got a call from the title company and they scheduled our closing for Monday afternoon! We were so excited as we thought we were being postponed, and now we could close on time. Friday afternoon rolls around, and I got another call from the title company that our closing would have to be rescheduled for the following Monday due to a contract addendum she had received stating thus. We were shocked--we knew that our buyer needed more time, but had been told "a few days, and at the very latest Friday" and now we were being told another full week. We called our agent to ask what was going on--when she called back, she explained that the buyer simply asked for a week to eliminate the chance of having us sign another addendum "just in case," but that he was still hoping to close as quickly as possible. Somewhat relieved, we signed the addendum and figured that it didn't matter much at this point anyway--we were already moved out, and as long as he closes before the end of the month we won't have to pay another month of HOA fees and mortgage payments.
Today, B1 and I spent the entire day cleaning our condo, during which I was constantly embarrassed by the realization that I am a terrible housekeeper. I'm fairly sure that I cleaned some things today that have not been cleaned since we moved in nearly 7 years ago--cabinets, baseboards...oh dear. I need to have some type of routine that reminds me to clean these areas regularly, because frankly it was quite disturbing. I just hope our buyer appreciates it, even though he'll still probably end up painting over nearly everything I cleaned (cleaning just won't fix paint chips and the various marks all over the walls, doors, etc.). As B1 and I were taking a brief break from dinner, I saw a text from our real estate agent--the bank has approved our addendum! I was shocked!!! As I sat there eating my delicious cheeseburger and fries from Wasatch Deli, it hit me that our buyer had asked for a week extension on his contract, and the appraisal coming in low had delayed us exactly one week. Coincidence? I think not! I seriously had to marvel at the Lord's hand in this, and chastise myself a bit for not having more faith. I had hope, but not the level of faith to completely trust.
So, we are so excited!! Unfortunately, we won't be able to close by next week, which would have been great with B1's work schedule, but we'll have to make do. Right now, I'm content to stay at my in-laws' for a bit. Moving was rough, and we have way, WAY too much stuff for me to be excited about moving it all again.
Showing posts with label Inspirational. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Inspirational. Show all posts
Saturday, April 14, 2012
Wednesday, March 7, 2012
Not A (Complete) Failure
Sunday was a glorious day in our house. Sr and I got back from our week-long cruise late Saturday night (yes, I'll post about that eventually), so after our absence our boys were really excited to be with us again. So, on Sunday they were on their best behaviors, especially during church. Each Sunday we usually give each one of the boys a snack container with some type of snack (goldfish, cereal, etc.), because they're usually quiet while they eat and that's a small sort of accomplishment. Well, this Sunday B2 completely finished his goldfish fairly quickly, and quietly put the container away. That alone was amazing, but what happened next nearly brought me to tears. D had noticed that B2's container was all gone, and his container was still mostly full. So, without any attempts at getting recognition for what he was about to do, he pulled out B2's container, took off the lid, took off the lid to his own container, and dumped half of his goldfish into B2's container. I was watching, curious, as he struggled to put the lids back on. D then put B2's container back where he found it. At this point, I pointed Jr in the direction of his container and he was so happy to discover that he had more fish to eat!
I sat and thought about D giving up half of his snack without being asked, and without seeking glory for the kindness he was doing. And, for a brief second, I thought that I must be doing something right...even if they attempt to annoy each other to the point of insanity most of the time.
Saturday, April 16, 2011
A twist on gratitude
Tonight was the adult session of our Stake Conference. Call me selfish, but I have a hard time with going to the adult session of Stake Conference, namely because it's on a Saturday night. I mean, really, way to kill any possibility of a date night! But, we managed to get a babysitter, and so B1 and I were both able to go. And let me tell you, it was amazing!! Every talk was incredible, and I could actually hear them because I wasn't constantly shushing B2 or trying to keep D from throwing a car at the head of a kid three rows back. Anyway, I digress. One of the hymns we sang tonight was "Count Your Blessings." I've sung this song countless times, but sometimes it really hits home...like tonight.
For those who don't know, I occasionally go through moments of total craziness (this is slightly exaggerated--it's not like actual diagnosed mental illness, just crazy-for-me craziness). I like to blame it on my birth control, but I've either been on birth control or pregnant for so long that it makes it hard to distinguish my own form of crazy from birth-control-induced crazy (I'm sure there's someone out there thinking that I should change my birth control if it's causing me to be crazy, so let me say two things: first, the craziness is pretty rare, like once every three months and usually lasts a day or two; second, I don't dare switch because I've been on other birth control that was way worse--I can deal with this!). I don't want to over-dramatize my crazy--I'm not super wacko, but I'm just not myself. Usually I can watch some chick flick, cry my eyes out, and then I'm back to my normal, only slightly wacko self. Well, not this week. Monday and Tuesday I just felt off, and then Wednesday something happened and I blew it totally out of proportion, which made me even more crazy on Thursday. Finally by Friday I mellowed out, and now I'm thankfully back to normal. So, I'm not saying this to make people feel sorry for me, but simply to describe maybe why this hymn meant so much to me tonight.
Birth-control-induced craziness - Of course, the first on my list would be due to my past week. I'm grateful that I have birth-control-induced craziness. Why? Because it means that I can have children. If I weren't able to get pregnant, I wouldn't need birth control. And after having two sets of siblings that can't have children, I'm not going to ever, for one second, complain about not having their trial.
Stretch marks and saggy....well, you know - Again, as a by-product of being able to have children, I also have stretch marks. Like, really bad stretch marks. If I were to ever wear a bikini, I'm sure there would be someone who would be convinced that I was attacked by Freddy Krueger. But as much as I hate the stretch marks (or, even worse, all the leftover skin), I would never replace it with the option of not being able to have kids.
A husband who's gone a lot, because I have a husband with a good job that he loves, and a husband that is self-sacrificing enough to spend his nights serving others. Sure beats the alternatives...
The inability to sell our condo to buy a house, because that means we own our home. And we are blessed to own such a nice home--it's in great condition, in a great neighborhood and ward, with awesome neighbors. We love everything about where we live, except the fact that we're in two HOAs and we don't have a backyard where we can send our kids when they start driving us nuts. And I wouldn't mind having a basement either, with a nice big cold storage area for my food storage...But I digress.
Kids that wake me up at 7:00 a.m., because it means I get to be a stay-at-home mom and see their much-too-happy-for-7:00-a.m. faces every day.
A messy house, because I have kids who love to play and plenty of toys for them to play with.
Living in Utah, because now I can (or rather, have to) fully admit that I chose to be here. We had the option of moving to Houston or Minneapolis, and I realized that Utah isn't so bad. I'd like it a lot more if I didn't spend most of my time outdoors freezing or sneezing.
Trials, specifically trials I don't have. This one has been on my mind a lot lately. Several years ago, a family member and his wife had a baby who was born with an extremely rare genetic disease. Sadly, it's a terminal disease, and their little boy died just before his first birthday. I can't even imagine the pain they went through watching their baby slowly deteriorate, but what really saddens me is the pain they continued to go through. (The rest of this is all hear-say, but I'm sure there are others who have felt this way about their particular trial.) My mother-in-law was telling me about how hard it would be for them at church, because someone would give a talk or bear a testimony about how they had faith that God would answer their prayers and remove their trial, and He did. The family members then felt that their faith was not sufficient or God would have answered their prayers. I wish I could have told them then what was said in a recent Ensign article: “When someone has an ailment or an illness and they are healed as the result of a blessing, their faith is being strengthened. But for those who aren’t healed but continue faithful, their faith is being perfected. The first is a faith-promoting experience. The second is faith-perfecting.” (source) I'm grateful that I've only had faith-promoting trials and no faith-perfecting trials, though I'm sure I'll get some of those eventually. I'm also grateful for family members that have allowed me into their lives to share a small part of their trials. That may sound weird, but I feel like I become a better person for it. There are variations of this quote, and attributed to different people, but I try to take it to heart: "A fool learns from his own mistakes, a wise person learns from the mistakes of others." I think it extends to trials as well -- a wise person should learn from the trials of others, as much as he can.
Anyway, this was just on my mind after Conference tonight, and wanted to share. Maybe it will help someone else be wise by learning from my mistake, and instead of complaining (like I do) he/she can be grateful instead.
For those who don't know, I occasionally go through moments of total craziness (this is slightly exaggerated--it's not like actual diagnosed mental illness, just crazy-for-me craziness). I like to blame it on my birth control, but I've either been on birth control or pregnant for so long that it makes it hard to distinguish my own form of crazy from birth-control-induced crazy (I'm sure there's someone out there thinking that I should change my birth control if it's causing me to be crazy, so let me say two things: first, the craziness is pretty rare, like once every three months and usually lasts a day or two; second, I don't dare switch because I've been on other birth control that was way worse--I can deal with this!). I don't want to over-dramatize my crazy--I'm not super wacko, but I'm just not myself. Usually I can watch some chick flick, cry my eyes out, and then I'm back to my normal, only slightly wacko self. Well, not this week. Monday and Tuesday I just felt off, and then Wednesday something happened and I blew it totally out of proportion, which made me even more crazy on Thursday. Finally by Friday I mellowed out, and now I'm thankfully back to normal. So, I'm not saying this to make people feel sorry for me, but simply to describe maybe why this hymn meant so much to me tonight.
When upon life’s billows you are tempest-tossed,While singing this, I started thinking about some of the things I usually complain about, and how they are really evidence of blessings I have.
When you are discouraged, thinking all is lost,
Count your many blessings; name them one by one,
And it will surprise you what the Lord has done.
Count your blessings;
Name them one by one.
Count your blessings;
See what God hath done.
Are you ever burdened with a load of care?
Does the cross seem heavy you are called to bear?
Count your many blessings; ev’ry doubt will fly,
And you will be singing as the days go by.
Birth-control-induced craziness - Of course, the first on my list would be due to my past week. I'm grateful that I have birth-control-induced craziness. Why? Because it means that I can have children. If I weren't able to get pregnant, I wouldn't need birth control. And after having two sets of siblings that can't have children, I'm not going to ever, for one second, complain about not having their trial.
Stretch marks and saggy....well, you know - Again, as a by-product of being able to have children, I also have stretch marks. Like, really bad stretch marks. If I were to ever wear a bikini, I'm sure there would be someone who would be convinced that I was attacked by Freddy Krueger. But as much as I hate the stretch marks (or, even worse, all the leftover skin), I would never replace it with the option of not being able to have kids.
A husband who's gone a lot, because I have a husband with a good job that he loves, and a husband that is self-sacrificing enough to spend his nights serving others. Sure beats the alternatives...
The inability to sell our condo to buy a house, because that means we own our home. And we are blessed to own such a nice home--it's in great condition, in a great neighborhood and ward, with awesome neighbors. We love everything about where we live, except the fact that we're in two HOAs and we don't have a backyard where we can send our kids when they start driving us nuts. And I wouldn't mind having a basement either, with a nice big cold storage area for my food storage...But I digress.
Kids that wake me up at 7:00 a.m., because it means I get to be a stay-at-home mom and see their much-too-happy-for-7:00-a.m. faces every day.
A messy house, because I have kids who love to play and plenty of toys for them to play with.
Living in Utah, because now I can (or rather, have to) fully admit that I chose to be here. We had the option of moving to Houston or Minneapolis, and I realized that Utah isn't so bad. I'd like it a lot more if I didn't spend most of my time outdoors freezing or sneezing.
Trials, specifically trials I don't have. This one has been on my mind a lot lately. Several years ago, a family member and his wife had a baby who was born with an extremely rare genetic disease. Sadly, it's a terminal disease, and their little boy died just before his first birthday. I can't even imagine the pain they went through watching their baby slowly deteriorate, but what really saddens me is the pain they continued to go through. (The rest of this is all hear-say, but I'm sure there are others who have felt this way about their particular trial.) My mother-in-law was telling me about how hard it would be for them at church, because someone would give a talk or bear a testimony about how they had faith that God would answer their prayers and remove their trial, and He did. The family members then felt that their faith was not sufficient or God would have answered their prayers. I wish I could have told them then what was said in a recent Ensign article: “When someone has an ailment or an illness and they are healed as the result of a blessing, their faith is being strengthened. But for those who aren’t healed but continue faithful, their faith is being perfected. The first is a faith-promoting experience. The second is faith-perfecting.” (source) I'm grateful that I've only had faith-promoting trials and no faith-perfecting trials, though I'm sure I'll get some of those eventually. I'm also grateful for family members that have allowed me into their lives to share a small part of their trials. That may sound weird, but I feel like I become a better person for it. There are variations of this quote, and attributed to different people, but I try to take it to heart: "A fool learns from his own mistakes, a wise person learns from the mistakes of others." I think it extends to trials as well -- a wise person should learn from the trials of others, as much as he can.
Anyway, this was just on my mind after Conference tonight, and wanted to share. Maybe it will help someone else be wise by learning from my mistake, and instead of complaining (like I do) he/she can be grateful instead.
Thursday, April 14, 2011
Demotivator? Not for me!
(Image "borrowed" from here)
Caption: "If you can't learn to do something well, learn to enjoy doing it poorly."
This image is from a series of "Demotivators" -- posters and other misc. items poking fun at the typical motivational pictures that have nice photography and a catch phrase that seems motivational at first but becomes cheesier the more you read it. So, anyway, today I was skimming through the new Demotivators since the last time I checked their site. (Oh, and side note: if you haven't read the Demotivators, you ought to--it's always good for a laugh.) I came across this one, and after laughing I started thinking about the truth behind this. Personally, I have a hard time accepting that I'm not totally awesome at something. I have friends who are awesome singers (cough Britney cough), friends who can surf well (cough Leslie cough), friends who are amazing photographers (cough Nickell or Erin or hundreds of others cough). I have friends who are better at the sports I love (Steph is a way better volleyball player, of course; Liz was better at softball; Leah was better at basketball; and so on). I'm by no means the smartest person ever (in fact, I was commenting the other day that a friend from elementary school got her graduate degree from Stanford in Electrical Engineering, which was after her full-ride double-Bachelor's in Electrical Engineering and Computer Science from MIT, which came after her perfect score on the SAT--makes my Master's in Psych from BYU seem pretty pathetic). And the list can go on of the millions of things that someone else can do better. Now, I understand that I'll never be awesome at something without lots of practice--I get that. But, being totally awesome at some skill also requires some natural ability. I'll never be a great gymnast because I'm too tall. So, I could spend the next 40 years taking gymnastics classes and practicing like crazy, but I'll never be awesome.
So, this post is starting to sound depressing and self-loathing, but I swear there's a point! (Thanks for sticking with me thus far.) The point is that this ironically-named Demotivator was actually motivating!! After all, who cares if I'm not going to the Olympics for being the best in some particular sport. Who cares if someone out there is smarter than me, or knows more about psychology than I do, or learns languages faster? Who cares if I'll never be paid to do a photography session, or if my blog never hits 40,000 followers, or if my cake designs are always weak versions of the ideas I stole from the Internet? Who cares, as long as I enjoy doing it?? I think my recent training for this half marathon is a perfect example of how I should always see life. I am not running this marathon to finish in the top 5--I'm running it to finish it. I should not be living my life to be the best at something, but to enjoy it and make the most of it. It reminds me of a quote I'm seeing pop up around a lot of LDS homes, from Pres. Thomas S. Monson: "Let us relish life as we live it [and] find joy in the journey..." (source) If we are not doing things because we'll never be the best at them, then we miss out. Or, if we do things only to become the best, then we miss out. There will always be someone faster, stronger, smarter, prettier (or more handsome), or who has better-behaved children, smarter children, more athletic children, or cleaner children. There will always be bigger homes, better decorated homes, cleaner and more organized homes. But does it really matter, so long as we are happy with what we have?
Now, I'm sure there are many that know I'm a big fan of self-improvement--not the cheesy, pop-psychology form of it, but improving one's self through continued education, introspection, and willingness to try new things. It may seem like I'm saying you should never try to improve upon your current circumstances but simply be happy with what you have now. I don't agree with that. Instead, I think we should take Tony Horton's advice: "Do your best, and forget the rest." (If you watch a single DVD from P90X, you'll hear him say this at least once.) Do your best, improve yourself, but do it for the right reason and be happy with the best that you can do.
For me, this means that I need to stop peering over my proverbial fence at the neighbors to jealously stare at what they have that I don't or what they can do that I can't. I need to take joy in my own learning process, be happy with the abilities that I have (once I've made them all they can be), and just enjoy my day to day life.
Ironic that all this came from a poster mockingly called a "Demotivation."
Sunday, September 12, 2010
Awesome talk
I really needed this this morning, so I'm sharing. (Source)
President Dieter F. Uchtdorf
Second Counselor in the First Presidency
My dear sisters, I am grateful for this, my first opportunity to speak to the women of the Church gathered together in all parts of the world. We are especially honored today with the presence of President Monson and President Eyring. The choir has touched our hearts. We have been inspired by the messages of Sister Thompson, Sister Allred, and Sister Beck.
Since learning that I would be with you today, I have thought about the many women who have shaped my life: my wonderful wife, Harriet; my mother; my mother-in-law; my sister; my daughter; my daughter-in-law; and many friends. All my life I have been surrounded by women who inspired, taught, and encouraged me. I am who I am today in large part because of these singular women. Each time I meet with the sisters of the Church, I sense that I am in the midst of similar remarkable souls. I am grateful to be here, grateful for your talents, compassion, and service. Most of all, I am grateful for who you are: treasured daughters of our Heavenly Father with infinite worth.
I’m sure it comes as no surprise, but the differences between men and women can often be quite striking—physically and mentally, as well as emotionally. One of the best ways I can think of to illustrate this is in the way my wife and I cook a meal.
When Harriet prepares a meal, it’s a masterpiece. Her cuisine is as wide-ranging as the world, and she frequently prepares dishes from countries we have visited. The presentation of the food is awe inspiring. In fact, it often looks so beautiful that it seems a crime to eat it. It’s as much a feast for the eyes as it is for the sense of taste.
But sure enough, no matter how perfect everything is, looks, and tastes, Harriet will apologize for something she thinks is imperfect. “I’m afraid I used a touch too much ginger,” she will say, or, “Next time, I think it would be better if I used a little more curry and one additional bay leaf.”
Let me contrast that with the way I cook. For the purpose of this talk, I asked Harriet to tell me what I cook best.
Her answer: fried eggs.
Sunny-side up.
But that isn’t all. I have a specialty dish called Knusperchen. The name may sound like a delicacy you might find at an exclusive restaurant. Let me share with you how to make it. You cut French bread into small slices and toast them twice.
That is the recipe!
So, between fried eggs, even when they are greasy, and Knusperchen, even when they are burned, when I cook, I feel pretty heroic.
Perhaps this contrast between my wife and me is a slight exaggeration, but it illustrates something that may extend beyond preparing meals.
To me it appears that our splendid sisters sometimes undervalue their abilities—they focus on what is lacking or imperfect rather than what has been accomplished and who they really are.
Perhaps you recognize this trait in someone you know really well.
The good news is that this also points to an admirable quality: the innate desire to please the Lord to the best of your ability. Unfortunately, it can also lead to frustration, exhaustion, and unhappiness.
To All Who Are Weary
Today I would like to speak to those who have ever felt inadequate, discouraged, or weary—in short, I would like to speak to all of us.
I also pray that the Holy Ghost will amplify my words and bestow upon them additional meaning, insight, and inspiration.
We know that sometimes it can be difficult to keep our heads above water. In fact, in our world of change, challenges, and checklists, sometimes it can seem nearly impossible to avoid feeling overwhelmed by emotions of suffering and sorrow.
I am not suggesting that we can simply flip a switch and stop the negative feelings that distress us. This isn’t a pep talk or an attempt to encourage those sinking in quicksand to imagine instead they are relaxing on a beach. I recognize that in all of our lives there are real concerns. I know there are hearts here today that harbor deep sorrows. Others wrestle with fears that trouble the soul. For some, loneliness is their secret trial.
These things are not insignificant.
However, I would like to speak about two principles that may help you find a path to peace, hope, and joy—even during times of trial and distress. I want to speak about God’s happiness and how each one of us can taste of it in spite of the burdens that beset us.
God’s Happiness
Let me first pose a question: What do you suppose is the greatest kind of happiness possible? For me, the answer to this question is, God’s happiness.
This leads to another question: What is our Heavenly Father’s happiness?
This may be impossible to answer because His ways are not our ways. “For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are [God’s] ways higher than [our] ways, and [His] thoughts [higher] than [our] thoughts.”
Though we cannot understand “the meaning of all things,” we do “know that [God] loveth his children” because He has said, “Behold, this is my work and my glory—to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man.”
Heavenly Father is able to accomplish these two great goals—the immortality and eternal life of man—because He is a God of creation and compassion. Creating and being compassionate are two objectives that contribute to our Heavenly Father’s perfect happiness. Creating and being compassionate are two activities that we as His spirit children can and should emulate.
The Work of Creation
The desire to create is one of the deepest yearnings of the human soul. No matter our talents, education, backgrounds, or abilities, we each have an inherent wish to create something that did not exist before.
Everyone can create. You don’t need money, position, or influence in order to create something of substance or beauty.
Creation brings deep satisfaction and fulfillment. We develop ourselves and others when we take unorganized matter into our hands and mold it into something of beauty—and I am not talking about the process of cleaning the rooms of your teenage children.
You might say, “I’m not the creative type. When I sing, I’m always half a tone above or below the note. I cannot draw a line without a ruler. And the only practical use for my homemade bread is as a paperweight or as a doorstop.”
If that is how you feel, think again, and remember that you are spirit daughters of the most creative Being in the universe. Isn’t it remarkable to think that your very spirits are fashioned by an endlessly creative and eternally compassionate God? Think about it—your spirit body is a masterpiece, created with a beauty, function, and capacity beyond imagination.
But to what end were we created? We were created with the express purpose and potential of experiencing a fulness of joy. Our birthright—and the purpose of our great voyage on this earth—is to seek and experience eternal happiness. One of the ways we find this is by creating things.
If you are a mother, you participate with God in His work of creation—not only by providing physical bodies for your children but also by teaching and nurturing them. If you are not a mother now, the creative talents you develop will prepare you for that day, in this life or the next.
You may think you don’t have talents, but that is a false assumption, for we all have talents and gifts, every one of us.5 The bounds of creativity extend far beyond the limits of a canvas or a sheet of paper and do not require a brush, a pen, or the keys of a piano. Creation means bringing into existence something that did not exist before—colorful gardens, harmonious homes, family memories, flowing laughter.
What you create doesn’t have to be perfect. So what if the eggs are greasy or the toast is burned? Don’t let fear of failure discourage you. Don’t let the voice of critics paralyze you—whether that voice comes from the outside or the inside.
If you still feel incapable of creating, start small. Try to see how many smiles you can create, write a letter of appreciation, learn a new skill, identify a space and beautify it.
Nearly a century and a half ago, President Brigham Young spoke to the Saints of his day. “There is a great work for the Saints to do,” he said. “Progress, and improve upon and make beautiful everything around you. Cultivate the earth, and cultivate your minds. Build cities, adorn your habitations, make gardens, orchards, and vineyards, and render the earth so pleasant that when you look upon your labors you may do so with pleasure, and that angels may delight to come and visit your beautiful locations. In the mean time continually seek to adorn your minds with all the graces of the Spirit of Christ."
The more you trust and rely upon the Spirit, the greater your capacity to create. That is your opportunity in this life and your destiny in the life to come. Sisters, trust and rely on the Spirit. As you take the normal opportunities of your daily life and create something of beauty and helpfulness, you improve not only the world around you but also the world within you.
Being Compassionate
Being compassionate is another great work of our Heavenly Father and a fundamental characteristic of who we are as a people. We are commanded to “succor the weak, lift up the hands which hang down, and strengthen the feeble knees.” Disciples of Christ throughout all ages of the world have been distinguished by their compassion. Those who follow the Savior “mourn with those that mourn . . . and comfort those that stand in need of comfort.”
When we reach out to bless the lives of others, our lives are blessed as well. Service and sacrifice open the windows of heaven, allowing choice blessings to descend upon us. Surely our beloved Heavenly Father smiles upon those who care for the least of His children.
As we lift others, we rise a little higher ourselves. President Spencer W. Kimball taught, “The more we serve our fellowmen in appropriate ways, the more substance there is to our souls.”
President Gordon B. Hinckley believed in the healing power of service. After the death of his wife, he provided a great example to the Church in the way he immersed himself in work and in serving others. It is told that President Hinckley remarked to one woman who had recently lost her husband, “Work will cure your grief. Serve others.”
These are profound words. As we lose ourselves in the service of others, we discover our own lives and our own happiness.
President Lorenzo Snow expressed a similar thought: “When you find yourselves a little gloomy, look around you and find somebody that is in a worse plight than yourself; go to him and find out what the trouble is, then try to remove it with the wisdom which the Lord bestows upon you; and the first thing you know, your gloom is gone, you feel light, the Spirit of the Lord is upon you, and everything seems illuminated.”
In today’s world of pop psychology, junk TV, and feel-good self-help manuals, this advice may seem counterintuitive. We are sometimes told that the answer to our ills is to look inward, to indulge ourselves, to spend first and pay later, and to satisfy our own desires even at the expense of those around us. While there are times when it is prudent to look first to our own needs, in the long run it doesn’t lead to lasting happiness.
An Instrument in the Hands of the Lord
I believe that the women of the Church, regardless of age or family status, understand and apply best the words of James Barrie, the author of Peter Pan: “Those who bring sunshine to the lives of others cannot keep it from themselves.” Often I have witnessed quiet acts of kindness and compassion by noble women who extended themselves in unselfish charity. My heart swells when I hear stories of the sisters of the Church and how they rush to the aid of those in need.
There are those in the Church—both men and women—who wonder how they can contribute to the kingdom. Sometimes women who are single, divorced, or widowed wonder if there is a place for them. Every sister in the Church is of critical importance—not only to our Heavenly Father but also to the building of the kingdom of God as well. There is a great work to do.
One year ago in this meeting, President Monson taught that “you are . . . surrounded by opportunities for service. . . . Often small acts of service are all that is required to lift and bless another.” Look around you. There at sacrament meeting is a young mother with several children—offer to sit with her and help. There in your neighborhood is a young man who seems discouraged—tell him you enjoy being in his presence, that you feel his goodness. True words of encouragement require only a loving and caring heart but may have an eternal impact on the life of those around you.
You wonderful sisters render compassionate service to others for reasons that supersede desires for personal benefits. In this you emulate the Savior, who, though a king, did not seek position, nor was He concerned about whether others noticed Him. He did not bother to compete with others. His thoughts were always tuned to help others. He taught, healed, conversed, and listened to others. He knew that greatness had little to do with outward signs of prosperity or position. He taught and lived by this doctrine: “He that is greatest among you shall be your servant.”
In the end, the number of prayers we say may contribute to our happiness, but the number of prayers we answer may be of even greater importance. Let us open our eyes and see the heavy hearts, notice the loneliness and despair; let us feel the silent prayers of others around us, and let us be an instrument in the hands of the Lord to answer those prayers.
Conclusion
My dear sisters, I have a simple faith. I believe that as you are faithful and diligent in keeping the commandments of God, as you draw closer to Him in faith, hope, and charity, things will work together for your good. I believe that as you immerse yourselves in the work of our Father—as you create beauty and as you are compassionate to others—God will encircle you in the arms of His love. Discouragement, inadequacy, and weariness will give way to a life of meaning, grace, and fulfillment.
As spirit daughters of our Heavenly Father, happiness is your heritage.
You are choice daughters of our Heavenly Father, and through the things you create and by your compassionate service, you are a great power for good. You will make the world a better place. Lift up your chin; walk tall. God loves you. We love and admire you.
Of this I testify, and leave you my blessing as an Apostle of the Lord, in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.
Happiness, Your Heritage
Second Counselor in the First Presidency
Our birthright—and the purpose of our great voyage on this earth—is to seek and experience eternal happiness.
My dear sisters, I am grateful for this, my first opportunity to speak to the women of the Church gathered together in all parts of the world. We are especially honored today with the presence of President Monson and President Eyring. The choir has touched our hearts. We have been inspired by the messages of Sister Thompson, Sister Allred, and Sister Beck.Since learning that I would be with you today, I have thought about the many women who have shaped my life: my wonderful wife, Harriet; my mother; my mother-in-law; my sister; my daughter; my daughter-in-law; and many friends. All my life I have been surrounded by women who inspired, taught, and encouraged me. I am who I am today in large part because of these singular women. Each time I meet with the sisters of the Church, I sense that I am in the midst of similar remarkable souls. I am grateful to be here, grateful for your talents, compassion, and service. Most of all, I am grateful for who you are: treasured daughters of our Heavenly Father with infinite worth.
I’m sure it comes as no surprise, but the differences between men and women can often be quite striking—physically and mentally, as well as emotionally. One of the best ways I can think of to illustrate this is in the way my wife and I cook a meal.
When Harriet prepares a meal, it’s a masterpiece. Her cuisine is as wide-ranging as the world, and she frequently prepares dishes from countries we have visited. The presentation of the food is awe inspiring. In fact, it often looks so beautiful that it seems a crime to eat it. It’s as much a feast for the eyes as it is for the sense of taste.
But sure enough, no matter how perfect everything is, looks, and tastes, Harriet will apologize for something she thinks is imperfect. “I’m afraid I used a touch too much ginger,” she will say, or, “Next time, I think it would be better if I used a little more curry and one additional bay leaf.”
Let me contrast that with the way I cook. For the purpose of this talk, I asked Harriet to tell me what I cook best.
Her answer: fried eggs.
Sunny-side up.
But that isn’t all. I have a specialty dish called Knusperchen. The name may sound like a delicacy you might find at an exclusive restaurant. Let me share with you how to make it. You cut French bread into small slices and toast them twice.
That is the recipe!
So, between fried eggs, even when they are greasy, and Knusperchen, even when they are burned, when I cook, I feel pretty heroic.
Perhaps this contrast between my wife and me is a slight exaggeration, but it illustrates something that may extend beyond preparing meals.
To me it appears that our splendid sisters sometimes undervalue their abilities—they focus on what is lacking or imperfect rather than what has been accomplished and who they really are.
Perhaps you recognize this trait in someone you know really well.
The good news is that this also points to an admirable quality: the innate desire to please the Lord to the best of your ability. Unfortunately, it can also lead to frustration, exhaustion, and unhappiness.
To All Who Are Weary
Today I would like to speak to those who have ever felt inadequate, discouraged, or weary—in short, I would like to speak to all of us.
I also pray that the Holy Ghost will amplify my words and bestow upon them additional meaning, insight, and inspiration.
We know that sometimes it can be difficult to keep our heads above water. In fact, in our world of change, challenges, and checklists, sometimes it can seem nearly impossible to avoid feeling overwhelmed by emotions of suffering and sorrow.
I am not suggesting that we can simply flip a switch and stop the negative feelings that distress us. This isn’t a pep talk or an attempt to encourage those sinking in quicksand to imagine instead they are relaxing on a beach. I recognize that in all of our lives there are real concerns. I know there are hearts here today that harbor deep sorrows. Others wrestle with fears that trouble the soul. For some, loneliness is their secret trial.
These things are not insignificant.
However, I would like to speak about two principles that may help you find a path to peace, hope, and joy—even during times of trial and distress. I want to speak about God’s happiness and how each one of us can taste of it in spite of the burdens that beset us.
God’s Happiness
Let me first pose a question: What do you suppose is the greatest kind of happiness possible? For me, the answer to this question is, God’s happiness.
This leads to another question: What is our Heavenly Father’s happiness?
This may be impossible to answer because His ways are not our ways. “For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are [God’s] ways higher than [our] ways, and [His] thoughts [higher] than [our] thoughts.”
Though we cannot understand “the meaning of all things,” we do “know that [God] loveth his children” because He has said, “Behold, this is my work and my glory—to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man.”
Heavenly Father is able to accomplish these two great goals—the immortality and eternal life of man—because He is a God of creation and compassion. Creating and being compassionate are two objectives that contribute to our Heavenly Father’s perfect happiness. Creating and being compassionate are two activities that we as His spirit children can and should emulate.
The Work of Creation
The desire to create is one of the deepest yearnings of the human soul. No matter our talents, education, backgrounds, or abilities, we each have an inherent wish to create something that did not exist before.
Everyone can create. You don’t need money, position, or influence in order to create something of substance or beauty.
Creation brings deep satisfaction and fulfillment. We develop ourselves and others when we take unorganized matter into our hands and mold it into something of beauty—and I am not talking about the process of cleaning the rooms of your teenage children.
You might say, “I’m not the creative type. When I sing, I’m always half a tone above or below the note. I cannot draw a line without a ruler. And the only practical use for my homemade bread is as a paperweight or as a doorstop.”
If that is how you feel, think again, and remember that you are spirit daughters of the most creative Being in the universe. Isn’t it remarkable to think that your very spirits are fashioned by an endlessly creative and eternally compassionate God? Think about it—your spirit body is a masterpiece, created with a beauty, function, and capacity beyond imagination.
But to what end were we created? We were created with the express purpose and potential of experiencing a fulness of joy. Our birthright—and the purpose of our great voyage on this earth—is to seek and experience eternal happiness. One of the ways we find this is by creating things.
If you are a mother, you participate with God in His work of creation—not only by providing physical bodies for your children but also by teaching and nurturing them. If you are not a mother now, the creative talents you develop will prepare you for that day, in this life or the next.
You may think you don’t have talents, but that is a false assumption, for we all have talents and gifts, every one of us.5 The bounds of creativity extend far beyond the limits of a canvas or a sheet of paper and do not require a brush, a pen, or the keys of a piano. Creation means bringing into existence something that did not exist before—colorful gardens, harmonious homes, family memories, flowing laughter.
What you create doesn’t have to be perfect. So what if the eggs are greasy or the toast is burned? Don’t let fear of failure discourage you. Don’t let the voice of critics paralyze you—whether that voice comes from the outside or the inside.
If you still feel incapable of creating, start small. Try to see how many smiles you can create, write a letter of appreciation, learn a new skill, identify a space and beautify it.
Nearly a century and a half ago, President Brigham Young spoke to the Saints of his day. “There is a great work for the Saints to do,” he said. “Progress, and improve upon and make beautiful everything around you. Cultivate the earth, and cultivate your minds. Build cities, adorn your habitations, make gardens, orchards, and vineyards, and render the earth so pleasant that when you look upon your labors you may do so with pleasure, and that angels may delight to come and visit your beautiful locations. In the mean time continually seek to adorn your minds with all the graces of the Spirit of Christ."
The more you trust and rely upon the Spirit, the greater your capacity to create. That is your opportunity in this life and your destiny in the life to come. Sisters, trust and rely on the Spirit. As you take the normal opportunities of your daily life and create something of beauty and helpfulness, you improve not only the world around you but also the world within you.
Being Compassionate
Being compassionate is another great work of our Heavenly Father and a fundamental characteristic of who we are as a people. We are commanded to “succor the weak, lift up the hands which hang down, and strengthen the feeble knees.” Disciples of Christ throughout all ages of the world have been distinguished by their compassion. Those who follow the Savior “mourn with those that mourn . . . and comfort those that stand in need of comfort.”
When we reach out to bless the lives of others, our lives are blessed as well. Service and sacrifice open the windows of heaven, allowing choice blessings to descend upon us. Surely our beloved Heavenly Father smiles upon those who care for the least of His children.
As we lift others, we rise a little higher ourselves. President Spencer W. Kimball taught, “The more we serve our fellowmen in appropriate ways, the more substance there is to our souls.”
President Gordon B. Hinckley believed in the healing power of service. After the death of his wife, he provided a great example to the Church in the way he immersed himself in work and in serving others. It is told that President Hinckley remarked to one woman who had recently lost her husband, “Work will cure your grief. Serve others.”
These are profound words. As we lose ourselves in the service of others, we discover our own lives and our own happiness.
President Lorenzo Snow expressed a similar thought: “When you find yourselves a little gloomy, look around you and find somebody that is in a worse plight than yourself; go to him and find out what the trouble is, then try to remove it with the wisdom which the Lord bestows upon you; and the first thing you know, your gloom is gone, you feel light, the Spirit of the Lord is upon you, and everything seems illuminated.”
In today’s world of pop psychology, junk TV, and feel-good self-help manuals, this advice may seem counterintuitive. We are sometimes told that the answer to our ills is to look inward, to indulge ourselves, to spend first and pay later, and to satisfy our own desires even at the expense of those around us. While there are times when it is prudent to look first to our own needs, in the long run it doesn’t lead to lasting happiness.
An Instrument in the Hands of the Lord
I believe that the women of the Church, regardless of age or family status, understand and apply best the words of James Barrie, the author of Peter Pan: “Those who bring sunshine to the lives of others cannot keep it from themselves.” Often I have witnessed quiet acts of kindness and compassion by noble women who extended themselves in unselfish charity. My heart swells when I hear stories of the sisters of the Church and how they rush to the aid of those in need.
There are those in the Church—both men and women—who wonder how they can contribute to the kingdom. Sometimes women who are single, divorced, or widowed wonder if there is a place for them. Every sister in the Church is of critical importance—not only to our Heavenly Father but also to the building of the kingdom of God as well. There is a great work to do.
One year ago in this meeting, President Monson taught that “you are . . . surrounded by opportunities for service. . . . Often small acts of service are all that is required to lift and bless another.” Look around you. There at sacrament meeting is a young mother with several children—offer to sit with her and help. There in your neighborhood is a young man who seems discouraged—tell him you enjoy being in his presence, that you feel his goodness. True words of encouragement require only a loving and caring heart but may have an eternal impact on the life of those around you.
You wonderful sisters render compassionate service to others for reasons that supersede desires for personal benefits. In this you emulate the Savior, who, though a king, did not seek position, nor was He concerned about whether others noticed Him. He did not bother to compete with others. His thoughts were always tuned to help others. He taught, healed, conversed, and listened to others. He knew that greatness had little to do with outward signs of prosperity or position. He taught and lived by this doctrine: “He that is greatest among you shall be your servant.”
In the end, the number of prayers we say may contribute to our happiness, but the number of prayers we answer may be of even greater importance. Let us open our eyes and see the heavy hearts, notice the loneliness and despair; let us feel the silent prayers of others around us, and let us be an instrument in the hands of the Lord to answer those prayers.
Conclusion
My dear sisters, I have a simple faith. I believe that as you are faithful and diligent in keeping the commandments of God, as you draw closer to Him in faith, hope, and charity, things will work together for your good. I believe that as you immerse yourselves in the work of our Father—as you create beauty and as you are compassionate to others—God will encircle you in the arms of His love. Discouragement, inadequacy, and weariness will give way to a life of meaning, grace, and fulfillment.
As spirit daughters of our Heavenly Father, happiness is your heritage.
You are choice daughters of our Heavenly Father, and through the things you create and by your compassionate service, you are a great power for good. You will make the world a better place. Lift up your chin; walk tall. God loves you. We love and admire you.
Of this I testify, and leave you my blessing as an Apostle of the Lord, in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.
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