Showing posts with label LDS. Show all posts
Showing posts with label LDS. Show all posts

Friday, August 8, 2014

Facebook status turned blog post

"When in situations of stress we wonder if there is any more in us to give, we can be comforted to know that God, who knows our capacity perfectly, placed us here to succeed. No one was foreordained to fail or to be wicked. When we have been weighed and found wanting, let us remember that we were measured before and we were found equal to our tasks..." -- Neal A Maxwell [source]

I shared this devotional on Facebook few days ago, but I was listening to it again tonight, and this part really hit me. Sometimes I get really down on myself, thinking about all the awful things I do, the mistakes I've made, and the many things "everyone" does better than me. Some days all I can see are the negatives in myself, and I wonder why my husband still loves me, and why my kids can still smile when they see me, thinking that if they just saw the ugliness that I saw, they'd go running.

I post this not to garner sympathy, or to be fishing for compliments or reassurances that I'm not the awful person I sometimes see in the mirror. I post this for two reasons: first, to let others know who may be experiences similar feelings that you are not alone; and second, to remind us all that we were placed us here to succeed! Our Heavenly Father is giving us tasks, and challenges, and trials that He knows we are able to overcome. He knows our capacity; he knows our strengths, and our weaknesses, and what will help us grow. He does not give us challenges that will cripple us (spiritually speaking) -- He gives us challenges that will elevate us to great heights. And when you feel that you have been weighed and found wanting, do not be discouraged. It's not just you. You're not the only one who feels this way! You are not alone!

To borrow a few more words from another wise fellow, Jeffrey R Holland:

"The next time you are tempted to paint your self-portrait dismal gray, highlighted with lackluster beige, just remember that in like manner have this kingdom’s most splendid men and women been tempted. I say to you as Joshua said to the tribes of Israel as they faced one of their most difficult tasks, 'Sanctify yourselves: for tomorrow the Lord will do wonders among you' (Joshua 3:5)" [source; seriously, go read this whole speech. And then read it again. And again.]

Have faith. You are up to this. You can tackle this. You are equal to this. Put your faith in God, and watch the wonders occur around you. Don't believe me?

"If your faith is a little tested in this or any season, I invite you to lean on mine... Hope on. Journey on...

[A]ll things are possible to them that believe." [source; yeah, read this one too]

Friday, January 24, 2014

Funny Things D Says

While getting ready for nightly prayers, D was getting a little crazy and we were trying to get him to calm down before he said prayers.

B1: "Who do we think of during prayers?"
D: "Heavenly Father and Jesus. They created the earth."
B1: "That's right."
D: "How?"
B1: "Through the priesthood."
D: "Oh." [Whispering conspiratorially] "Don't tell anyone!"

Friday, December 6, 2013

Out of the mouth of babes

D's prayer tonight:

Dear Heavenly Father,
Thank you for this great day.
Please bless that Jesus had a good day.
Please bless that I can give Jesus all my power, because I love him.
In the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

Wednesday, September 4, 2013

YW, and getting old

At YW tonight, we had a member of the stake presidency come speak to the girls about the temple. He began his talk by asking the girls to write down what they think their lives will be like in 15 years. One girl a few seats down added it up and said, "I'll be so old--I'll be like 30!" Yes, ladies, this is what old looks like.

Surprisingly, it didn't really bother me. I succumbed to the realization that I was old last year when I officially kissed the 20s goodbye. Though, it's a little daunting to be fully sailing into my 30s next week--I'm not really "barely past the 20s" when I'm 31. Sounds a little desperate to be still using that phrase.

If anything, this little activity made me laugh. Some of the girls shared what they wanted their lives to be like. All were 15 or younger (that shared), so they were all talking about their late 20s up to 30. Their lists included things like graduating college, getting married, having babies, and the like. Some were more specific ("I'll be pregnant for the first time") and some were more vague ("I have no idea what my life will hold in 15 years!"). But, each one made me smile at how much better my life is than I had initially planned.

When I was in YW, I had my life planned out. Here's how it went:
  1. Graduate high school when 17.
  2. Go to my favorite university, and major in Psychology.
  3. At 21, go on a mission, probably foreign, and hopefully Spanish-speaking.
  4. At 22.5, come home, resume education.
  5. Complete Bachelor's degree. Start Clinical Psychology Ph.D program.
  6. Graduate at 28. Starting working as a therapist for rape victims.
  7. At 30, get married (as the last one of my friends--they all got married young, like 19 or 20). Marry a hot, tall (6'0"-6'3"), Spanish-speaking return missionary who is also a lawyer and has already agreed to live on the same street as my two best friends, B and L. Get married in Los Angeles temple. Best day ever!
  8. Sometime after 30, maybe have kids--I mean, I'm supposed to have kids and all that.
Yep, that was the plan. And it worked pretty well...up to #2. I did graduate at 17, I did go to my favorite university, and I did major in Psych. And...then began the deviations. I had not planned on a semester in Nauvoo, without which my life would have a huge, gaping hole. I did not plan to meet my husband when I was 19 (okay, only a few days before I turned 20, but still!), and did not plan to actually be convinced not to serve a mission (not by him--he was completely supportive, though he made no false promises about waiting for me). I did not plan to get married at 20. I did not plan to stop my education after receiving my Master's degree. I did not plan to have a child at 23, or work in Human Resources, or live in Utah. I did not anticipate the strong urge to quit my job and stay home with my kids.

Little did I know how much better my life could be than what I had planned! My scariest nightmares are ones where I lose my husband or child(ren), and those ones haunt me even while awake. I never thought I'd stay up late crying because some child I had never met on the other side of the country had something horrible happen, and I realized my own inability to protect my children from the evils of the world. I would never have understood the joy at watching my sons play soccer, at the way a simple hug or grin could make my day go from horrible to perfect in an instant. I would never have felt the frustration at taking photo after photo, and editing said photos for so long, and never being able to capture all that is amazing about my children.

Yes, they can be stinkers. They can drive me crazy when they stain my already-ugly carpet, shake my bed when I'm green to the teeth with morning sickness, or constantly interrupt ("Mom....Mom....Mom....Mom..."). But they are the best part of my day, and I'm so lucky that my plan almost completely derailed. But, thank goodness I still married the hot, tall, Spanish-speaking return missionary. Otherwise, I might have some ugly children. ;)

Thank goodness that's not the case.

Saturday, April 14, 2012

Not a coincidence

Wow, what a week! It has been another crazy week. After we found out that our appraisal on our house came in under the purchase price, we submitted an addendum to the sellers (to then be forwarded to the bank) to amend the purchase price to the appraisal price and to adjust our financing and closing dates, as it would no longer be possible to meet the original dates in our contract. A few days after submitting the addendum to the sellers, our agent spent several days trying to reach the seller's agent to confirm that they had signed the addendum and forwarded it on the bank--no response. So, we were even more frustrated at our limbo status because we didn't even know if our paperwork was being considered by the bank yet, but we figured this was the price we were paying for buying a short sale. Nervous about the possibility that we might end up waiting months for the bank to approve the addendum (during which time our contract would expire and I could potentially have this baby and we could wear out our welcome at my in-laws' house), B1 and I scheduled to go see some new houses on Thursday night. At 4:00 p.m. Thursday night, we got a phone call from our agent that our buyer for our condo would not be able to close on Monday as we had expected, and would be requesting a few more days. B1 and I tried to just laugh (even though we were irritated), as we had spent all day Thursday packing up the essentials of our house in preparation for our move the next day. Not only was our house packed, we had reserved a rental truck, paid for a storage unit, notified friends and family that we would need help moving, and scheduled the termination of our utilities for Monday, allowing us time to move on Friday and clean the entire condo on Saturday. We were past the point of no return, and had to move out even though we could have stayed in our place for a few more days. So, anyway, back to the showings. We went and saw two houses. One was the exact same floorplan as the house we currently had our contract on, but their basement was completely finished and the yard wasn't quite as nice. As much as we tried to convince ourselves that it was the same thing, we just couldn't get over the fact that we wanted "our" house more. The other house we didn't like at all. So, we were back to hoping that everything would work out and we could still get in "our" house and settled long before this baby comes.

On Friday morning, we moved out. We started at 10:00 a.m., and with the wonderful help of family and some friends in the ward, we were done by 1:30--this included those helping us driving to the storage unit and my in-laws' house (multiple times) to also help us unload. We then sent everyone home and B1 and I spent the rest of the afternoon packing up what we hadn't packed before everyone showed up, and making a few more trips to empty out our condo. Friday morning, while packing and moving, we got a call from the title company and they scheduled our closing for Monday afternoon! We were so excited as we thought we were being postponed, and now we could close on time. Friday afternoon rolls around, and I got another call from the title company that our closing would have to be rescheduled for the following Monday due to a contract addendum she had received stating thus. We were shocked--we knew that our buyer needed more time, but had been told "a few days, and at the very latest Friday" and now we were being told another full week. We called our agent to ask what was going on--when she called back, she explained that the buyer simply asked for a week to eliminate the chance of having us sign another addendum "just in case," but that he was still hoping to close as quickly as possible. Somewhat relieved, we signed the addendum and figured that it didn't matter much at this point anyway--we were already moved out, and as long as he closes before the end of the month we won't have to pay another month of HOA fees and mortgage payments.

Today, B1 and I spent the entire day cleaning our condo, during which I was constantly embarrassed by the realization that I am a terrible housekeeper. I'm fairly sure that I cleaned some things today that have not been cleaned since we moved in nearly 7 years ago--cabinets, baseboards...oh dear. I need to have some type of routine that reminds me to clean these areas regularly, because frankly it was quite disturbing. I just hope our buyer appreciates it, even though he'll still probably end up painting over nearly everything I cleaned (cleaning just won't fix paint chips and the various marks all over the walls, doors, etc.). As B1 and I were taking a brief break from dinner, I saw a text from our real estate agent--the bank has approved our addendum! I was shocked!!! As I sat there eating my delicious cheeseburger and fries from Wasatch Deli, it hit me that our buyer had asked for a week extension on his contract, and the appraisal coming in low had delayed us exactly one week. Coincidence? I think not! I seriously had to marvel at the Lord's hand in this, and chastise myself a bit for not having more faith. I had hope, but not the level of faith to completely trust.

So, we are so excited!! Unfortunately, we won't be able to close by next week, which would have been great with B1's work schedule, but we'll have to make do. Right now, I'm content to stay at my in-laws' for a bit. Moving was rough, and we have way, WAY too much stuff for me to be excited about moving it all again.

Monday, April 9, 2012

One step forward, two steps back


It's been a while since I last posted about the sale of our condo. That's probably because we've had so many ups and downs that I felt I was always contradicting myself. First it was that we would be closing X day and moving Y, then that got pushed back a week, then a month. First we were having an inspection being done while we were on the cruise, and then we found out that the buyer decided to forgo the inspection. And stioll, the craziness continues. Thankfully, we seem to be in really good shape with the sale of the condo. According to the buyer's loan officer today, we will be all set to close next Monday, so we are moving this weekend! We ended up not getting the house I mentioned in my previous post, but found another short sale in the same neighborhood. Our offer was approved in less than two weeks by the bank, so we were on our way to moving into a house only about a week after closing on our condo.

Well, then the delays started. The bank wasn't providing our agent with the actual approval letter, but told us just to proceed as if we had it. That's all well and good for them, but "proceeding" meant a.) starting the loan paperwork and b.) incurring non-refundable costs on inspections and appraisals. Unfortunately, the first was not possible (the loan could not proceed without that bank approval) and the second wasn't wise (why should we incur expense simply because some agent we've never met said we had approval, which she was saying based on the word of some third party since she wasn't in possession of the approval either?). So, we sat and waited...and waited...and waited. Two weeks later, the bank FINALLY sends the letter, and now we are frantically trying to meet the deadlines stipulated in our original contract with the owners and rush our bank to complete our loan paperwork quickly. And, it was looking pretty good...until today. Our loan officer called and the appraisal on the home came back $7,000 too low. We are now left with one of three possible scenarios:
  1. Take $7,000 of our down payment and give it to the bank, resulting in a higher PMI payment and money that's not doing anything for us as far as equity--or, in other words, pay $7,000 more than the house is worth. Um...no thanks!
  2. Go back to the bank and ask that they accept a sale price that's $7,000 less to match the appraised price, and hope the bank reviews our appraisal, agrees, and lowers the price (and hopefully does this super, super fast so we don't delay our contract too long).
  3. Go back to the bank and ask that they accept a sale price that's $7,000 less to match the appraised price, after which the bank says they want another opinion and goes through the process of getting a BPO and/or another appraisal done before they begin negotiating with us on the final sale price, which could take months to complete.
So, needless to say, option 2 is what we're hoping for, but we are back to being in limbo--there's nothing we can do but sit and what to hear what the bank is going to do. As I was thinking stewing on this tonight, I've had a hard time not getting discouraged. We really like this house, even though it's by no means our dream house. It will have some room to grow, but we love the neighborhood and we have been so excited about all that home ownership will finally provide us with--a garage, a backyard, a basement, a garden--that to have this comes up feels like we're losing it all when it was so very close. We have been so lucky to have this process go so quickly--the sale of our condo in less than 24 hours, the approval of a short sale in just a few weeks--that any delay feels like it's all just been too good to be true. Now, I'm not writing about all this because I want sympathy or pity--I don't. I know we have been truly blessed so far in this process, and we're keenly aware of how many of our good friends in the ward would kill to be in our shoes. I've mainly been explaining all this to provide a (very long) lead-in to one of the most powerful talks I've ever heard, and which I am re-reading tonight. This talk was given by Elder Oaks at a BYU devotional in the winter of 2002, while I was in Nauvoo. At the time, I felt he was giving it specifically for me, as I had spent the past year struggling with frustration that life was not going the way I wanted it to go. The previous semester I had spent practically throwing myself at a guy who lead me on, I was rooming with the girl who was engaged to my best friend that I secretly had very strong feelings for, I was taking a semester off from my major, and I was hoping to serve a mission in about 18 months when I turned 21 despite my frustrations that I had been at BYU for "so long" and still wasn't married (yes, I was actually freaking out about not being married when I was 19!). So, anyway, this talk made me sit back and remind myself that a.) I wasn't as old as I thought, and b.) the Lord really knew better than I did about how my life should go, and I should just shut up and listen instead of telling Him how it was going to work. Now...fast forward 10 years, and B1 and I are feeling very scared. We are about to sell our condo with its lovely low mortgage payment and move away from our ward that we love so much, and we had no idea where we were going to go or if we could even find some place that we could afford. B1 was more afraid than I was, for some strange reason--usually when it comes to lack of faith, I take the cake. But this talk from ten years prior popped in my head, and we read it, and again I felt that Elder Oaks had given it for me...but for the now-me, as it applied in a whole new way.

I wanted to include a few of my favorite parts from his talk. Maybe this is just for me so I have easy access to my thoughts on this subject, but maybe this will help someone out there in blogland too.
  • "In all the important decisions in our lives, what is most important is to do the right thing. Second, and only slightly behind the first, is to do the right thing at the right time."
  • "The first principle of the gospel is faith in the Lord Jesus Christ. Faith means trust—trust in God’s will, trust in His way of doing things, and trust in His timetable."
  • "The Lord’s timing also applies to the important events of our personal lives. A great scripture in the Doctrine and Covenants declares that a particular spiritual experience will come to us 'in his own time, and in his own way, and according to his own will' (D&C 88:68). This principle applies to revelation and to all of the most important events in our lives: birth, marriage, death, and even our moves from place to place. It is not enough that we are going in the right direction. The timing must be right, and if the time is not right, our actions should be adjusted to the Lord’s timetable as revealed by His servants."
  • "Faith in the Lord Jesus Christ prepares us for whatever life brings. This kind of faith prepares us to deal with life’s opportunities—to take advantage of those that are received and to persist through the disappointments of those that are lost."
  • "If we have faith in God and if we are committed to the fundamentals of keeping His commandments and putting Him first in our lives, we do not need to plan every single event—even every important event—and we should not feel rejected or depressed if some things—even some very important things—do not happen at the time we had planned or hoped or prayed."
So, let's hope I can do as Elder Oaks suggested, and take comfort in letting the Lord take control. Otherwise, I can only expect horrible heartburn in the near future as we anxiously wait the bank's decision.

Wednesday, March 7, 2012

Not A (Complete) Failure


Sunday was a glorious day in our house. Sr and I got back from our week-long cruise late Saturday night (yes, I'll post about that eventually), so after our absence our boys were really excited to be with us again. So, on Sunday they were on their best behaviors, especially during church. Each Sunday we usually give each one of the boys a snack container with some type of snack (goldfish, cereal, etc.), because they're usually quiet while they eat and that's a small sort of accomplishment. Well, this Sunday B2 completely finished his goldfish fairly quickly, and quietly put the container away. That alone was amazing, but what happened next nearly brought me to tears. D had noticed that B2's container was all gone, and his container was still mostly full. So, without any attempts at getting recognition for what he was about to do, he pulled out B2's container, took off the lid, took off the lid to his own container, and dumped half of his goldfish into B2's container. I was watching, curious, as he struggled to put the lids back on. D then put B2's container back where he found it. At this point, I pointed Jr in the direction of his container and he was so happy to discover that he had more fish to eat!

I sat and thought about D giving up half of his snack without being asked, and without seeking glory for the kindness he was doing. And, for a brief second, I thought that I must be doing something right...even if they attempt to annoy each other to the point of insanity most of the time.

Saturday, January 7, 2012

Funny Things B2 Says

The greatest prayer I've heard to date:

"...Thank you that we could play with dart guns, and hiding, and everything. Thank you that we have D that he can grow and be so good at it. Please bless that I never have to have salad again. In the name..."

My eyes were watering because I was trying so hard not to laugh...

Sunday, March 13, 2011

Can't sleep

Ug. I can't sleep. I hate it when I can't sleep. I'm not sure if I can't sleep because I took a 3 hour nap this afternoon (soooo good), or because of the nightmares I had while taking said 3 hour nap (not soooo good--mostly strange dreams about D drowning in pools and I can't swim to save him because of the surprisingly buoyant clothing I'm wearing *shivers*), or because... I dunno. Maybe if I get some of these random thoughts off my mind, I'll be able to turn it off and go to sleep.

I'm worried about B2. (Warning: this paragraph is highly TMI--if you don't like discussions about poop, please skip this paragraph.) B2 has had bowel problems since he was a baby. When we first introduced him to rice cereal, they cropped up. Basically, he can't seem to move his bowels on his own. We've given him Miralax almost every day since about he was about 6 months old. If we ever forget for a few days, it happens: the backed up, rock hard, bum-tearing bowels. In these cases, we usually have to give him an enema, which he of course hates, just to get it to come out. Our pediatrician told us that some kids just like to hold on to "it" and that he'd grow out of it. That was two years ago, and it's still not better. In fact, it seems worse, because now that I'm home I'm realizing how much of a problem B2 has. He's potty trained just fine when it comes to pee (even at night now--yippee!!!) but for the love of all that is holy cannot go poop by himself! Instead, he "stores" it in between his cheeks when he feels it coming on! It's so gross! We know he feels it coming, because a.) he'll still go and hide sometimes, and b.) he freaking squeezes in his cheeks! How can he not feel that? But, instead of just going to the bathroom, he'll stay like that, sometimes for hours until we catch the smell or undress him for a bath. It happened again today--third day in a row that he's done this, and third day without really pooping even when we make him sit on the potty. Plus, he's still on the Miralax. After 4+ years, shouldn't he really be off this stuff now? I'm close to my wits end. I'm tired to spending so much money on Mirarlax and multiple wash cycles to clean his underwear. Any help?? I'm definitely going to bring this up to the doctor when we take B2 in for his 5 year check up, but I'm willing to try just about anything before then--except taking him off the Miralax, because I just can't stand seeing my baby cry and scream in pain when he tries to have a bowel movement.

I guess it's time for a good update on my yearly goals:

Finish P90X
I'm getting closer to finishing this goal. I finished Week 5 this week (though I didn't work out today--sadness!). Legs & Back is my favorite workout, and I'm sad to see that I won't be doing it the last 4 weeks because it's not on my schedule. I started a new lifting routine this week: Shoulders, Arms and Triceps. Many swear words when through my head during this workout. Curse you Tony! I'm getting bored with the Kenpo routine (which was ironically one of my favorites at the beginning), plus it's starting to hurt my knees. I may stop doing this particular routine in favor of my new training (see goal 2). I measured again this week, but didn't see any difference that's worth mentioning.

Run a half marathon
Progress is being made! This week I registered for the Utah Valley half marathon, to be ran June 11th. I start my training next week. I alternate between really excited and freaked out of my mind. I think that as long as I can actually do my training schedule, I'll be okay. We'll see though. I just hope all that road running doesn't aggravate my old knee injury.

Get to 135 pounds
Let's be honest--I suck at weight loss. Not because I'm not capable, but because I seriously lack the discipline not to each an entire "family" sized bag of Doritos in one sitting. ("Family" sized my butt--what family would be satisfied with that teeny little bag??) Doritos are sooo good. Not only that, but now that I'm home more a lot of my meals are homemade (or leftovers of homemade), so I don't have good calorie counts. I've largely fallen off the calorie counting band wagon. I'm hovering right around my homeostasis weight of 140. Not bad, considering that I'm probably building a bit of muscle mass with P90X, but still not a great number.

Finish Old Testament
I'm finally making progress here too! I finished reading the Book of Mormon yesterday, and so am continuing my newly developed habit of daily scripture reading by finishing the Old Testament. This goal will take me the rest of the year to accomplish, so I won't really comment more on it in future posts. Just check the side bar to see how I'm doing. (I'll update those numbers soon--I don't have them all in front of me right now.)

Read 12 books
I'm not quite on track here. I'm finishing my second book of the year, a non-fiction book called Boys Should Be Boys. It's a book on parenting, so it's taken me longer because I've wanted to soak in what I was reading. Plus, my last few weeks have been spent making my little sister's baby shower gift (I still have a few more items to make before her shower on Saturday), and making a blessing blanket for my adorable niece O, who will be officially adopted, sealed, and blessed at the end of the month. So, I have some time crunches with those projects, which means reading has been pushed back in priority.

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

#Reverb10

So, last year I did the #Best09 Challenge, where each day I had to answer the prompted question. I really enjoyed it, and wanted to do it again this year. This year it's called the #reverb10. So, I'm a little late getting started (I was supposed to start Dec 1), but better late than never, right? So, let me get caught up.

December 1 – One Word. Encapsulate the year 2010 in one word. Explain why you’re choosing that word. Now, imagine it’s one year from today, what would you like the word to be that captures 2011 for you?
For me, I think the best word is BUSY! This year has been busy, busy, busy. B1 has been flying like crazy, we've been working our tails off to get out of debt, I'm still working full-time, my sister finished her senior year of volleyball (so of course we were at every game), and so on. Next year, I want my word to be contentment. I will be making a major change, going from working full-time to being a stay-at-home mom. By the end of the year, I'm hoping to get some type of routine down and I'm hoping to LOVE being a mom.

December 2 – Writing. What do you do each day that doesn’t contribute to your writing — and can you eliminate it?
Life keeps me from writing a lot. I'm sure I could spend more time writing, but then I'd spend less time with my kids or hubby. So, I'm not planning on making that change any time soon.

December 3 – Moment. Pick one moment during which you felt most alive this year. Describe it in vivid detail (texture, smells, voices, noises, colors).
Maybe this is cheating to pick a moment so recent, but last night was my company Christmas party. I've never had such fun. We started off with dinner. Then, my boss gave everyone $100 in gold coins and told us to go shopping for an assigned person in the company. The twist? We were playing a game of Assassin (with dart guns we had received from him the week before). So, we had to shop while watching our backs. While in Big 5, I had a fellow employee try to gangsta shoot me (with his gun held sideways) while he used his wife as a sheild. In Costco, I shot a fellow manager square in the back. Outside Costco, I had a dueling war with a different manager as we ran in circles to avoid the other's darts. In Sports Authority, I had a James Bond moment as a I shot at a coworker while running sideways. After the shopping and Assassin were over, we gave and explained our gifts, and watched our Christmas video. This was the first time I had some embarrassing footage in our annual video, and I had a great time laughing at myself while my coworkers teased me. It was just overall a great night.

December 4 – Wonder. How did you cultivate a sense of wonder in your life this year?
Having young children, creating a sense of wonder is easy. All I have to do is sit down and watch or listen to them, and I'm amazed. I'm amazed at how smart B2 is getting. In fact, just today I picked him up from the babysitter's house and he started singing a song about the different kids in his preschool class. He is a sponge, so I'm very lucky to have him in such a great preschool.

December 5 – Let Go. What (or whom) did you let go of this year? Why?
I let go of a very good friend this year. Without too many details, the relationship had grown unhealthy. For a while, I felt very lonely. But, the sacrifice was definitely worth it.

December 6 – Make. What was the last thing you made? What materials did you use? Is there something you want to make, but you need to clear some time for it?
The last thing I made was food--of course. I'm always cooking. I made thumbprint cookies that were rolled in pecans. They were okay. I think I can improve on the recipe. This next year, I want to learn how to edit videos, and start editing our home videos and burning them to DVDs.

December 7 – Community. Where have you discovered community, online or otherwise, in 2010? What community would you like to join, create or more deeply connect with in 2011?
I have, even more so, developed community at my work. Now that we have passed the Christmas party, my resignation is looming near and it makes me sad. I will still be working there as an independent contractor, and will be in the office occasionally, but I will really miss the daily association with all the wonderful people there. In 2011, I really want to make friends in my home ward. Right now I feel like I get along really well with people in my ward, but I don't feel like we're FRIENDS. At best, I feel like we're neighbors. (I really hope this doesn't offend anyone!! Seriously, I know the problem is on my end--there are great people in my ward!) With my working full-time, I've missed out on a lot of opportunities like play groups, hanging out at the pool or parks, and so on. I'm super excited to jump into that as much as I can in a few more weeks.

December 8 – Beautifully Different. Think about what makes you different and what you do that lights people up. Reflect on all the things that make you different – you’ll find they’re what make you beautiful.
This is really hard for me. First, I don't think I'm all that different, and second, I really have no idea what I do that makes people light up. The only thing that really comes to mind is that I love to serve others, and usually anonymously (I don't want to feel like I'm serving for the appreciation, so I like to do it anonymously). Unfortunately, I'm not so gracious about receiving service...

December 9 – Party. What social gathering rocked your socks off in 2010? Describe the people, music, food, drink, clothes, shenanigans.
As mentioned previously, last night's Christmas party for my work ROCKED!

December 10 – Wisdom. What was the wisest decision you made this year, and how did it play out?
I think the wisest decision we made was the preschool we chose for Bw. His teacher is amazing, and he learns so much. He absolutely loves learning. He's learning his letters, and learning to write them. He looks forward to his homework! He sings songs I've never heard that I'm sure he learns at preschool. That was the best decision we made.

December 11 – What are 11 things your life doesn’t need in 2011? How will you go about eliminating them? How will getting rid of these 11 things change your life?
Wow...what a doozy! Here it goes.
  1. Negativity. I have a very nasty habit of being negative, especially about myself. I'll complain about my stretch marks from my pregnancy (or the hundreds of other things wrong with my body, mostly pregnancy-caused or pregnancy-related), my loneliness, my crows feet that are growing around my eyes, my hair that never seems cute, my clothes that never seem flattering, my disobedient kids, my inability to control my temper...I could go on. My life could seriously do without all this negativity. My goal for next year is to curb my negative comments. I want to try to give more service, so I don't think about myself so much. I want to put a little more effort into my appearance. I want to spend less time in front of the TV and computer and spend more time with my kids (I get more frustrated with the kids if they interrupt me while I'm watching TV or working on the computer than almost any other time). I think this can change my life because I will be happier if I'm not focused on the negative so much.
This may seem silly, but that's the only thing I can think of right now. Maybe that's a good sign--my life is mostly going well. I just need to focus on what's right instead of what's wrong. :)

December 12 – Body Integration. This year, when did you feel the most integrated with your body? Did you have a moment where there wasn’t mind and body, but simply a cohesive YOU, alive and present?
This is kind of a weird question. I don't know that I ever feel like I'm separate from my body. So, my answer is pretty much always.

December 13 – Action. When it comes to aspirations, it’s not about ideas. It’s about making ideas happen. What’s your next step?
Oh dear, you're in for it if you start asking me plans. My goals next year are to get back in shape. I want to do this by completing P90X. By that time, it should hopefully be warmer, so I want to start running. I want to run a half marathon by the end of the summer, and hopefully a full marathon next summer. I think I can hit all these goals unless I get pregnant (no plans for that now, but you never know...).

December 14 – Appreciate. What’s the one thing you have come to appreciate most in the past year? How do you express gratitude for it?
Wow...there's a lot I appreciate. I think the one thing I've come to appreciate the most is living so close to family. We thought we were going to be moving out of state about a month ago, and I was so sad about the possibility of leaving my sisters behind, my brother, my in-laws, my extended family, and so on. So, as much as I hate living in the cold and I tend to complain about the state in which we live, I LOVE being near my family!


December 15 – 5 Minutes. Imagine you will completely lose your memory of 2010 in five minutes. Set an alarm for five minutes and capture the things you most want to remember about 2010.
B2 loves attention. We took him to Trafalga's and he loved being with his mom and dad and going mini golfing.

D said Mama first. He now gives me hugs and kisses. He's a momma's boy, and I love it. His new thing is he likes to wipe my nose with a tissue. He's so gentle when he does it.

Rinz finished volleyball. I got teary-eyed when the last point was scored. I'm so proud of her. And a little bit jealous, to be honest.

Beez is pregnant. She looked so pretty last night at the Christmas party. I never understood why people say pregnant women glow until I saw her last night.

B1 has been working so hard for our family. He's so excited about finally being the breadwinner. I'm so excited about being the happy little housewife.

B2 and D love their grandparents so much. I'm lucky they have one set who lives close and one set that visits often.

E and K finally got their baby. O is the most beautiful little baby. You can see in K's eye how much O means to her. I've never seen E prouder.

CP has been so good to me. I'm going to miss being there every day. I need to find more people I can refer to work there--anyone who doesn't work there is missing out.

Saturday, November 13, 2010

What are you thankful for?



Lately I've felt the need to express more gratitude, so here's a shot at listing some of the many things for which I am grateful (in no particular order):
  1.  My parents - they taught me, often without me ever realizing that they were teaching me, not to drink or smoke, to value virtue and integrity, to be a hard worker, and to never settle for less than my best. They raised me in the gospel so I didn't have to struggle with questions of "Is there a God?" and "Why am I here?" -- I knew the answers before I knew to ask the questions. They worked hard so I could play sports, go to Girls Camp, have a dog, go to college, and have my dream wedding. They dote on my children, and make me feel like their favorite (though, deep down, I know we're all their favorites, but I'll never admit that out loud).
  2. My husband. I don't have words to really describe this well, but I'll do my best. B1 is an amazing person. He loves me when I'm pregnant, with stretch marks and a Ding Dong in each hand. He loves me when I'm cranky, and loves me when I'm fed up with our kids. He lets me travel to see my parents whenever I want, and doesn't complain when I put my sister's volleyball team ahead of everything else in life. He cleans our house on his day off so I don't have to do it on my day off. I couldn't ask for a better man to spend eternity with.
  3. The LDS temples - though I don't go as often as I should, every time I do go I'm reminded of why it's so awesome to be LDS. Everything about our religion just makes sense, and the temple is the cherry on top. It's the only place you can go where you can instantly feel at peace, where you forget you are serving others, and where there are no comparisons about who is pretty, richer, smarter, or anything else. Plus, it's a great way to get answers to prayers that you just can't anywhere else.
  4. Baskin Robbins Mint Chocolate Chip ice cream, because everything is right with the world when you're eating a pint of that in bed watching TV. At least, until the spoon scraps the bottom.
  5. Dave Ramsey - with his plan, we went from being over $25,000 in debt and us not being able to afford having me stay at home with our kids, to being debt free (except our house), feeling like we got a huge pay raise, and my resignation notice in so that starting in late January 2011, I get to finally be a SAHM mom!
  6. My job - 5 1/2 years ago, I was unemployed and desperate. A friend of mine got me an interview at CP, and after some begging and pleading I was offered a job. On my first day, this friend quit. I almost walked out as well, but stayed, and I am so glad I did! I've had the best time at CP that I've had at any job. The people are amazing, and I have learned so much about business, management, and dealing with people. The only thing that could pull me away from CP is my kids.
  7. My kids - I know I've had some hard times with my kids (most especially every day from June 2009 to May 2010 with B2--age three sucked!!), but coming home at the end of the day, seeing B2 run up to me while screaming, "MOMMY!" and then giving me a big hug, and watching D's face light up when he sees me just melts my heart. No matter how many things I do wrong, they forgive me and I'm still (as B2 often says) their best friend.
  8. Prayer, especially B2's prayers. B2 is now saying his prayers mostly by himself, and I love it! I love listening to him literally telling his Heavenly Father about his day, and I love hearing him spend so much time praying for others. It helps me understand more why we are commanded to become like little children.
  9. Extended family. Recently, B1's company announced that they were going to be reducing their airport staff in Salt Lake, as well as a few other airports, and moving those pilots to either Houston or Minneapolis. We were devastated at the idea of being forced to move away from so much family (within about an hour's drive, I have 3 of my 4 siblings, B1's parents, his sister, my grandpa's wife, my grandma, and a large number of B1's and my cousins, aunts, and uncles). Thankfully, we later found out that they decided instead to make the move voluntary, so we will be staying in Salt Lake a little longer. While I appreciated having family so close before this happened, I'm even more grateful now.
  10. My sisters, Beez and Rinz. Beez and I have been working together for the last two years, and it's been great to see her all the time. Beez and I didn't really get along too well as kids (I think it was largely our ages, but I was also a nerd while Beez was more outgoing), but we get along great now. It has also been a blast cheering Rinz on at her volleyball games (and trying to be cool by association with all her fun teammates), and hanging out with her whenever we can in the off season. Plus, both Rinz and Beez married awesome husbands, which just makes life that much better. They babysit my kids, and they drive (in their words) "all the way out there" to our house to hang out, which I know can be time consuming. So, basically, they're awesome, and I feel lucky to be their sister.
  11. My many nieces' and nephews' birth mothers, who sacrificed so much so that my sisters-in-law can have babies of their own. I hope you understand what an amazing gift you have given not only to them, but to the many extended family members who love them so much too.
I know there's so much more. I could start listing each person in my family and extended family, but I'm not sure anyone wants to read that. Plus, wherever I stop, someone will be left out and I don't want to make that person (or people) feel bad. So, this is by no means an exhaustive list, and I'll try to express my gratitude more often.

    Sunday, September 12, 2010

    Awesome talk

     I really needed this this morning, so I'm sharing. (Source)

    Happiness, Your Heritage

    President Dieter F. Uchtdorf
    Second Counselor in the First Presidency

    Our birthright—and the purpose of our great voyage on this earth—is to seek and experience eternal happiness.
    President Dieter F. UchtdorfMy dear sisters, I am grateful for this, my first opportunity to speak to the women of the Church gathered together in all parts of the world. We are especially honored today with the presence of President Monson and President Eyring. The choir has touched our hearts. We have been inspired by the messages of Sister Thompson, Sister Allred, and Sister Beck.

    Since learning that I would be with you today, I have thought about the many women who have shaped my life: my wonderful wife, Harriet; my mother; my mother-in-law; my sister; my daughter; my daughter-in-law; and many friends. All my life I have been surrounded by women who inspired, taught, and encouraged me. I am who I am today in large part because of these singular women. Each time I meet with the sisters of the Church, I sense that I am in the midst of similar remarkable souls. I am grateful to be here, grateful for your talents, compassion, and service. Most of all, I am grateful for who you are: treasured daughters of our Heavenly Father with infinite worth.

    I’m sure it comes as no surprise, but the differences between men and women can often be quite striking—physically and mentally, as well as emotionally. One of the best ways I can think of to illustrate this is in the way my wife and I cook a meal.

    When Harriet prepares a meal, it’s a masterpiece. Her cuisine is as wide-ranging as the world, and she frequently prepares dishes from countries we have visited. The presentation of the food is awe inspiring. In fact, it often looks so beautiful that it seems a crime to eat it. It’s as much a feast for the eyes as it is for the sense of taste.

    But sure enough, no matter how perfect everything is, looks, and tastes, Harriet will apologize for something she thinks is imperfect. “I’m afraid I used a touch too much ginger,” she will say, or, “Next time, I think it would be better if I used a little more curry and one additional bay leaf.”

    Let me contrast that with the way I cook. For the purpose of this talk, I asked Harriet to tell me what I cook best.

    Her answer: fried eggs.

    Sunny-side up.

    But that isn’t all. I have a specialty dish called Knusperchen. The name may sound like a delicacy you might find at an exclusive restaurant. Let me share with you how to make it. You cut French bread into small slices and toast them twice.

    That is the recipe!

    So, between fried eggs, even when they are greasy, and Knusperchen, even when they are burned, when I cook, I feel pretty heroic.

    Perhaps this contrast between my wife and me is a slight exaggeration, but it illustrates something that may extend beyond preparing meals.

    To me it appears that our splendid sisters sometimes undervalue their abilities—they focus on what is lacking or imperfect rather than what has been accomplished and who they really are.

    Perhaps you recognize this trait in someone you know really well.

    The good news is that this also points to an admirable quality: the innate desire to please the Lord to the best of your ability. Unfortunately, it can also lead to frustration, exhaustion, and unhappiness.

    To All Who Are Weary
    Today I would like to speak to those who have ever felt inadequate, discouraged, or weary—in short, I would like to speak to all of us.

    I also pray that the Holy Ghost will amplify my words and bestow upon them additional meaning, insight, and inspiration.

    We know that sometimes it can be difficult to keep our heads above water. In fact, in our world of change, challenges, and checklists, sometimes it can seem nearly impossible to avoid feeling overwhelmed by emotions of suffering and sorrow.

    I am not suggesting that we can simply flip a switch and stop the negative feelings that distress us. This isn’t a pep talk or an attempt to encourage those sinking in quicksand to imagine instead they are relaxing on a beach. I recognize that in all of our lives there are real concerns. I know there are hearts here today that harbor deep sorrows. Others wrestle with fears that trouble the soul. For some, loneliness is their secret trial.
    These things are not insignificant.

    However, I would like to speak about two principles that may help you find a path to peace, hope, and joy—even during times of trial and distress. I want to speak about God’s happiness and how each one of us can taste of it in spite of the burdens that beset us.

    God’s Happiness
    Let me first pose a question: What do you suppose is the greatest kind of happiness possible? For me, the answer to this question is, God’s happiness.

    This leads to another question: What is our Heavenly Father’s happiness?

    This may be impossible to answer because His ways are not our ways. “For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are [God’s] ways higher than [our] ways, and [His] thoughts [higher] than [our] thoughts.”

    Though we cannot understand “the meaning of all things,” we do “know that [God] loveth his children” because He has said, “Behold, this is my work and my glory—to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man.”

    Heavenly Father is able to accomplish these two great goals—the immortality and eternal life of man—because He is a God of creation and compassion. Creating and being compassionate are two objectives that contribute to our Heavenly Father’s perfect happiness. Creating and being compassionate are two activities that we as His spirit children can and should emulate.

    The Work of Creation
    The desire to create is one of the deepest yearnings of the human soul. No matter our talents, education, backgrounds, or abilities, we each have an inherent wish to create something that did not exist before.
    Everyone can create. You don’t need money, position, or influence in order to create something of substance or beauty.

    Creation brings deep satisfaction and fulfillment. We develop ourselves and others when we take unorganized matter into our hands and mold it into something of beauty—and I am not talking about the process of cleaning the rooms of your teenage children.

    You might say, “I’m not the creative type. When I sing, I’m always half a tone above or below the note. I cannot draw a line without a ruler. And the only practical use for my homemade bread is as a paperweight or as a doorstop.”

    If that is how you feel, think again, and remember that you are spirit daughters of the most creative Being in the universe. Isn’t it remarkable to think that your very spirits are fashioned by an endlessly creative and eternally compassionate God? Think about it—your spirit body is a masterpiece, created with a beauty, function, and capacity beyond imagination.

    But to what end were we created? We were created with the express purpose and potential of experiencing a fulness of joy. Our birthright—and the purpose of our great voyage on this earth—is to seek and experience eternal happiness. One of the ways we find this is by creating things.

    If you are a mother, you participate with God in His work of creation—not only by providing physical bodies for your children but also by teaching and nurturing them. If you are not a mother now, the creative talents you develop will prepare you for that day, in this life or the next.

    You may think you don’t have talents, but that is a false assumption, for we all have talents and gifts, every one of us.5 The bounds of creativity extend far beyond the limits of a canvas or a sheet of paper and do not require a brush, a pen, or the keys of a piano. Creation means bringing into existence something that did not exist before—colorful gardens, harmonious homes, family memories, flowing laughter.

    What you create doesn’t have to be perfect. So what if the eggs are greasy or the toast is burned? Don’t let fear of failure discourage you. Don’t let the voice of critics paralyze you—whether that voice comes from the outside or the inside.

    If you still feel incapable of creating, start small. Try to see how many smiles you can create, write a letter of appreciation, learn a new skill, identify a space and beautify it.

    Nearly a century and a half ago, President Brigham Young spoke to the Saints of his day. “There is a great work for the Saints to do,” he said. “Progress, and improve upon and make beautiful everything around you. Cultivate the earth, and cultivate your minds. Build cities, adorn your habitations, make gardens, orchards, and vineyards, and render the earth so pleasant that when you look upon your labors you may do so with pleasure, and that angels may delight to come and visit your beautiful locations. In the mean time continually seek to adorn your minds with all the graces of the Spirit of Christ."

    The more you trust and rely upon the Spirit, the greater your capacity to create. That is your opportunity in this life and your destiny in the life to come. Sisters, trust and rely on the Spirit. As you take the normal opportunities of your daily life and create something of beauty and helpfulness, you improve not only the world around you but also the world within you.

    Being Compassionate
    Being compassionate is another great work of our Heavenly Father and a fundamental characteristic of who we are as a people. We are commanded to “succor the weak, lift up the hands which hang down, and strengthen the feeble knees.” Disciples of Christ throughout all ages of the world have been distinguished by their compassion. Those who follow the Savior “mourn with those that mourn . . . and comfort those that stand in need of comfort.”

    When we reach out to bless the lives of others, our lives are blessed as well. Service and sacrifice open the windows of heaven, allowing choice blessings to descend upon us. Surely our beloved Heavenly Father smiles upon those who care for the least of His children.

    As we lift others, we rise a little higher ourselves. President Spencer W. Kimball taught, “The more we serve our fellowmen in appropriate ways, the more substance there is to our souls.”

    President Gordon B. Hinckley believed in the healing power of service. After the death of his wife, he provided a great example to the Church in the way he immersed himself in work and in serving others. It is told that President Hinckley remarked to one woman who had recently lost her husband, “Work will cure your grief. Serve others.”

    These are profound words. As we lose ourselves in the service of others, we discover our own lives and our own happiness.

    President Lorenzo Snow expressed a similar thought: “When you find yourselves a little gloomy, look around you and find somebody that is in a worse plight than yourself; go to him and find out what the trouble is, then try to remove it with the wisdom which the Lord bestows upon you; and the first thing you know, your gloom is gone, you feel light, the Spirit of the Lord is upon you, and everything seems illuminated.”

    In today’s world of pop psychology, junk TV, and feel-good self-help manuals, this advice may seem counterintuitive. We are sometimes told that the answer to our ills is to look inward, to indulge ourselves, to spend first and pay later, and to satisfy our own desires even at the expense of those around us. While there are times when it is prudent to look first to our own needs, in the long run it doesn’t lead to lasting happiness.

    An Instrument in the Hands of the Lord
    I believe that the women of the Church, regardless of age or family status, understand and apply best the words of James Barrie, the author of Peter Pan: “Those who bring sunshine to the lives of others cannot keep it from themselves.” Often I have witnessed quiet acts of kindness and compassion by noble women who extended themselves in unselfish charity. My heart swells when I hear stories of the sisters of the Church and how they rush to the aid of those in need.

    There are those in the Church—both men and women—who wonder how they can contribute to the kingdom. Sometimes women who are single, divorced, or widowed wonder if there is a place for them. Every sister in the Church is of critical importance—not only to our Heavenly Father but also to the building of the kingdom of God as well. There is a great work to do.

    One year ago in this meeting, President Monson taught that “you are . . . surrounded by opportunities for service. . . . Often small acts of service are all that is required to lift and bless another.” Look around you. There at sacrament meeting is a young mother with several children—offer to sit with her and help. There in your neighborhood is a young man who seems discouraged—tell him you enjoy being in his presence, that you feel his goodness. True words of encouragement require only a loving and caring heart but may have an eternal impact on the life of those around you.

    You wonderful sisters render compassionate service to others for reasons that supersede desires for personal benefits. In this you emulate the Savior, who, though a king, did not seek position, nor was He concerned about whether others noticed Him. He did not bother to compete with others. His thoughts were always tuned to help others. He taught, healed, conversed, and listened to others. He knew that greatness had little to do with outward signs of prosperity or position. He taught and lived by this doctrine: “He that is greatest among you shall be your servant.”

    In the end, the number of prayers we say may contribute to our happiness, but the number of prayers we answer may be of even greater importance. Let us open our eyes and see the heavy hearts, notice the loneliness and despair; let us feel the silent prayers of others around us, and let us be an instrument in the hands of the Lord to answer those prayers.

    Conclusion
    My dear sisters, I have a simple faith. I believe that as you are faithful and diligent in keeping the commandments of God, as you draw closer to Him in faith, hope, and charity, things will work together for your good. I believe that as you immerse yourselves in the work of our Father—as you create beauty and as you are compassionate to others—God will encircle you in the arms of His love. Discouragement, inadequacy, and weariness will give way to a life of meaning, grace, and fulfillment.

    As spirit daughters of our Heavenly Father, happiness is your heritage.

    You are choice daughters of our Heavenly Father, and through the things you create and by your compassionate service, you are a great power for good. You will make the world a better place. Lift up your chin; walk tall. God loves you. We love and admire you.

    Of this I testify, and leave you my blessing as an Apostle of the Lord, in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

    Sunday, August 29, 2010

    Amazing video

    I got an email with a link to this video nearly two years ago, but never watched it. At the time I received it, I didn't have time to watch it immediately, so it's sat in my inbox ever since then. I just watched it, and it's exactly what I needed right now. I hope you enjoy it.