YW, and getting old

At YW tonight, we had a member of the stake presidency come speak to the girls about the temple. He began his talk by asking the girls to write down what they think their lives will be like in 15 years. One girl a few seats down added it up and said, "I'll be so old--I'll be like 30!" Yes, ladies, this is what old looks like.

Surprisingly, it didn't really bother me. I succumbed to the realization that I was old last year when I officially kissed the 20s goodbye. Though, it's a little daunting to be fully sailing into my 30s next week--I'm not really "barely past the 20s" when I'm 31. Sounds a little desperate to be still using that phrase.

If anything, this little activity made me laugh. Some of the girls shared what they wanted their lives to be like. All were 15 or younger (that shared), so they were all talking about their late 20s up to 30. Their lists included things like graduating college, getting married, having babies, and the like. Some were more specific ("I'll be pregnant for the first time") and some were more vague ("I have no idea what my life will hold in 15 years!"). But, each one made me smile at how much better my life is than I had initially planned.

When I was in YW, I had my life planned out. Here's how it went:

1. Graduate high school when 17.
2. Go to my favorite university, and major in Psychology.
3. At 21, go on a mission, probably foreign, and hopefully Spanish-speaking.
4. At 22.5, come home, resume education.
5. Complete Bachelor's degree. Start Clinical Psychology Ph.D program.
6. Graduate at 28. Starting working as a therapist for rape victims.
7. At 30, get married (as the last one of my friends--they all got married young, like 19 or 20). Marry a hot, tall (6'0"-6'3"), Spanish-speaking return missionary who is also a lawyer and has already agreed to live on the same street as my two best friends, B and L. Get married in Los Angeles temple. Best day ever!
8. Sometime after 30, maybe have kids--I mean, I'm supposed to have kids and all that.

Yep, that was the plan. And it worked pretty well...up to #2. I did graduate at 17, I did go to my favorite university, and I did major in Psych. And...then began the deviations. I had not planned on a semester in Nauvoo, without which my life would have a huge, gaping hole. I did not plan to meet my husband when I was 19 (okay, only a few days before I turned 20, but still!), and did not plan to actually be convinced not to serve a mission (not by him--he was completely supportive, though he made no false promises about waiting for me). I did not plan to get married at 20. I did not plan to stop my education after receiving my Master's degree. I did not plan to have a child at 23, or work in Human Resources, or live in Utah. I did not anticipate the strong urge to quit my job and stay home with my kids.

Little did I know how much better my life could be than what I had planned! My scariest nightmares are ones where I lose my husband or child(ren), and those ones haunt me even while awake. I never thought I'd stay up late crying because some child I had never met on the other side of the country had something horrible happen, and I realized my own inability to protect my children from the evils of the world. I would never have understood the joy at watching my sons play soccer, at the way a simple hug or grin could make my day go from horrible to perfect in an instant. I would never have felt the frustration at taking photo after photo, and editing said photos for so long, and never being able to capture all that is amazing about my children.

Yes, they can be stinkers. They can drive me crazy when they stain my already-ugly carpet, shake my bed when I'm green to the teeth with morning sickness, or constantly interrupt ("Mom....Mom....Mom....Mom..."). But they are the best part of my day, and I'm so lucky that my plan almost completely derailed. But, thank goodness I still married the hot, tall, Spanish-speaking return missionary. Otherwise, I might have some ugly children. ;)

Thank goodness that's not the case.