Passive Aggressive Child

Tonight, I was having B2 do a numbers chart, where he adds up the column and row headers, to practice his addition. He really does not like math, and wasn't very happy when I told him this is what he was doing for homework. After some time complaining, and some time re-doing number he got wrong, he gave up entirely and chose to go to his room instead of finish his homework. So, when I walked by while cleaning up the kitchen, I saw this and almost died laughing.

In case you can't read his writing, he wrote "I don't like this." Awesome!

Christmas, and a new visit

It's starting to feel a lot like Christmas. Surprisingly, there's no snow on the ground, which I'm actually kinda sad about this year. It would really help hide the fact that we have a pretty poorly decorated house. Apparently, the three strands of Christmas lights which so fully light our condo porch look pretty sad on a house. Sorry neighbors--our plan is to buy a bunch of Christmas stuff on the 26th when it goes 50% off.

But, lack of Christmas lights or otherwise, we are getting in the Christmas spirit around here. The inside of our house has our tree, and a new little visitor. His name is Legolas (because yes, we are awesome like that), and he's Santa's nark...er, helper. He came to visit this year and reports back to Santa each night about all the good, or not-so-good, things my kids do each day. And, since you wouldn't expect anything less from a person who eats from the four major food groups each day (candy, candy canes, candy corn, and syrup), he also gets into some mischief. His first night here, he missed the snow so much that he made snow angels in (what else?) sugar!

Not terribly mischievous, except for the fact that I didn't clean it up right away and D decided to play as well, thereby getting sugar all over my floor. Unfortunately, D also touched Legolas to move him off the oven, and that's a big no-no. Elf magic can't be tainted by human hands, so Legolas only had enough magic to get back to Santa the next night, and had to "lay over" a day in the North Pole and get his magic recharged. He loved his overnight stay in my luxurious sock drawer, with a view of nothing.

The next night he came back--he couldn't miss the BYU basketball game! Not only is Legolas an orc-butt-kicker, but he also supports the Cougars!

Tonight, Legolas has decided he liked spending the day way out of reach, so he caught an updraft and has a birdsnest perch in a chandelier. He'll be fine--he brought along a snack.

B1 and I are having fun with Legolas. It's worked well on B2--he keeps reminding D that the elf is watching, so they better be good or Santa will give them coal. D doesn't quite get it. He can't seem to understand why it's funny when the elf gets into things, but when he does he gets time out.

I love Christmas! One of these days we'll start buying real trees again, but until then this one does nicely.

Funny Things B2 Says

B2: "Alright everyone, who here likes.Thanksgiving?"
Cousin L: "I don't know what that is."
B2: "It's when you go to school and eat FOOD. And make leprechauns."
Cousin L: "I don't know how to make a leprechaun."
B2: "It's easy. You just cut on the black line."

A the Midget

Yesterday we took A in for his four month check-up, and he's completely fallen off the charts. He's offiically in the zero percentile for his weight. It still weirds me out to have a child that's so skinny. Not that D or B2 was terrible chunky, but they were just big all around -- tall and appropriately heavy. So, to have this kid that's short and skinny is odd. Don't get me wrong--I love having a baby that stayed a baby for more than a week (I swear B2 could officially pass as a toddler at 2 months old), but I can't help but worry about A constantly. The pediatrician isn't terribly worried--developmentally he is on track or even advanced; for example, he's been rolling front-to-back and back-to-front since shortly after he turned two months old. However, the dr did recommend that we try to fatten him up by introducing rice cereal now. So far, A loves it! Today was his second day, and he's already discovered that if he removes his hands from his mouth (which he rarely does at any time of the day, but especially when feeding as he uses his hands to create suction so the food can go down), Mommy will put in the spoon with more food! I was so proud of him to discover this fact so quickly!

So, the pediatrician's plan is for us to try and fatten A up with some rice cereal. In 4 weeks we will take him back to the doctor's office and re-weigh him. If A has gained at least a pound, that will put him back on track (I think that will bump him back to the 5th percentile). If not, the doctor said there are a few tests he'd like to run, just to make sure we don't have anything to worry about. He said that 90% of the time, skinny kids are just skinny because they burn more calories than they consume. And since my brother's kids are also skinny kids, our pediatrician is fairly sure that A just got that high metabolism. Here's hoping we see a whopping 11 pounds, 4 ounces on that scale come mid-November!

Incidentally, shortly before the doctor's appointment, D decided to give A a nickname--"A the Midget!" Quite apropos, D!

Funny Things D Says

Mom: "Hey, can you run upstairs and get Mommy's iPod?"
D: "Sure, just a minute."
A few minutes pass...
Mom: "Can you go get my iPod now?"
D: "I can't! It's invisible!"

Project: Table

Now that I finally have a yard/garage where I can work, I decided to try my hand at refinishing some furniture. So, I sanded down this table and painted it with a fun new design. (Sorry, I apparently lost the "before" picture. It was just your basic wood table.)

I think it fits nicely on our porch.

It's the best day ever

If you watch/listen to as much Spongebob as I do, you'll recognize that the title of today's post is from a Spongebob song, and you'll probably hate me for getting it stuck in your head. If you aren't as familiar with Spongebob as you ought to be, you can listen to said Spongebob song here. But, that's really not the point of this post.

About a week and a half ago I read Stephanie Nielson's book, Heaven is Here. If you aren't familiar with Nie Nie, then seriously go to her blog and start reading it. She's amazing. But again, I digress. After finishing her story, I started thinking about all the different ways I complain--I'll text B1 when I'm having a rough day (sometimes even with pictures, just to prove it's as bad as I'm making it out to be); I'll blog about things that frustrate me; I'll post status updates on Facebook about the obnoxious things my kids do; I'll talk to other moms and try to out-do them on how awful my day has been (though I'll convince myself that I'm just trying to make them feel better about their own struggles). Now, granted, I'm not always complaining or saying depressing stuff, but as I started to think about it, I realized that I complain much more than I realized. And I wondered if people reading this blog, or people who have friended me on Facebook, think that my kids are evil nudists who do nothing but destroy, destroy, destroy!

So, I think I need to change. Nie Nie has inspired me to focus more on the positive, to choose happiness. I'm not saying that I'm never going to say another negative thing again--I know that's not a realistic goal. Rather, I want to focus on the positive. I want to look at all the good things that happen each day, and not the negative. I will put this on a new blog, in case you don't want to read it and just want to skip to the random, funny stuff my kids do. The new blog is TodaysTheBest.blogspot.com. Don't go there just yet--give me some time to put up some content before you decide if it's worth reading.

Okay, random post over. I still need to post some more pictures from B2's first day of school and other stuff, so don't worry--more fun stuff to come!

We have a pet!

We have a pet!

His name is D.

I'm getting convinced that D is part dog. He prefers NOT to wear clothes, and he continually "marks his territory"--anywhere and everywhere. Beds. Trees. Every patch of grass. The trampoline. Bushes. Concrete walls next to freeways. His carseat. His toy box.


And the list goes on.


Tonight, he added a new one. He peed out his bedroom window.


I guess he figured the screen was too clean...?

Stop growing!!!

A isn't growing super fast in the weight category (he had his 2 month check-up this past week, and he's in the 7th percentile!), but he is growing up fast in other areas. Tonight I watched him roll from his BACK to his front! Yes, that's right! Not front to back, which is supposedly easier, but back to front. We have a spry one our hands!

Just wanted to blog this so we would have it documented.

Welcome A!

I suppose I need to write down A's birth story before I forget all the details. I had expected to have a similar experience as I did with B2, but it was quite different.

A was due June 11, 2012. As I had anticipated, I started dilating early. At my 36 week appt, I was already 2 cm dilated and 70% effaced. And, as before, I was hoping for an early delivery. I was also hoping not to have two of my boys sharing birthdays, because that was a definite possibility--at 36 weeks, B2's birthday was 6 days away and D's was 3.5 weeks away. We were also moving in to our new house the weekend after my 36 week appt. I asked the doctor if lifting heavy boxes would throw me into labor, but he sadly informed me that at best it would do nothing; at worst, I would get hurt (sore muscles and all). He said the move would have no positive or negative impact on my pregnancy.

The move went well, and I went in two days later for my 37th week appointment hoping for good news. Sadly, I didn't get it--I had made absolutely no progress. For me, that's unusual. I usually dilate 1/2 to 1 cm per week and continually efface, but I hadn't done either. I began to resign myself to the idea that I was probably not going to have another May baby.

By the 38th week appt, I had made a little more progress. I was up to 3 cm dilated and still around 70-75% effaced. With B2's birthday now behind me, I was ready to have this baby quickly before it got too close to D's birthday. The doctor swept my membranes, hoping to throw me into labor. Alas, no luck. I just bled a little for a day or two and had some wonderfully awesome (*cough*) and intense contractions, but stayed pregnant.

At 39 weeks, I was so done being pregnant! D's birthday was now in 4 days, so I had the doctor sweep my membranes again, hoping that I could go into labor, have this baby, and be home before D's birthday.  Again, no luck--just more contractions, but they never got close enough together to go the hospital and would stop by bedtime. I tried walking and cleaning and all sorts of stuff to keep those contractions going, as well as applying essential oils to encourage the contractions, but no luck.

I saw the doctor again on my due date, June 11th. By now, I had been pregnant longer with this baby than with any other (B2 was born at 1:00 a.m. on his due date, and we induced D a week early), so I was getting really sick of being pregnant and ready to snuggle this cute (and likely ginormous) baby. I was also getting a little scared of having a stillborn child. Even though the doctor reassured me that the odds of stillborn didn't go up until at least a week after my due date (and more likely two weeks), I asked to be scheduled for an induction on Friday, June 15th. I didn't want to go a whole weekend without being able to easily (and cheaply) see my doctor in his office instead of having to go to the ER, just in case. I also had the doctor sweep my membranes again, just in case. He (Dr M) mentioned that he was the on-call doctor until 7:00 a.m. the next morning, so he said he hoped to see me before he got off call. I agreed. I didn't really get many contractions that afternoon, and I got sadder and sadder as I watched my due date come to a close.

I was woken up by contractions at 3:45 a.m. The contractions weren't terribly intense, but they were intense enough to wake me up (that hadn't happened before...ever) and seemed to be coming fairly close together. Not wanting to unnecessarily freak out my husband, I went into the living room to time the contractions and see if they were getting closer together, staying the same distance, or growing further apart. Plan failed--B1 felt me get out of bed and within seconds he was out of bed too. We timed a few contractions, and they were lasting about a minute and were coming every 3 minutes. We decided to head to the hospital. After my short labor with B2, we were afraid of having a freeway baby and didn't want to wait any longer. So far during the pregnancy, I hadn't had any contractions this close together (except the occasional 2 or 3 that would be close together but then nothing for hours or days). We packed up the hospital bags, called B1's parents (who were kind enough to wake up in the middle of the night and drive to our house so we didn't have to wake up B2 and D), and we were off to the hospital. My contractions weren't as intense as they were with B2 as we drove, so I was better able to handle B1's crazy driving. :) Just kidding--he did really well, especially with avoiding speeding up and slowing down dramatically.

We got to the hospital around 4:45 a.m., and was immediately checked in. We didn't have to be monitored like I was with D--I guess they figured that since a.) I was technically past my due date, b.) I was already dilated to 3 cm, c.) I had been timing my contractions for nearly an hour, and c.) this wasn't my first pregnancy so I theoretically knew what was real labor, they would accept my word for it. I was taking to the delivery room and got settled in.

B1 and I had discussed prior the plan of me going all natural with this delivery. With B2 and D, I had had IV painkillers (Demerol, I believe) during the labor. Both boys seemed to struggle a very tiny bit as well--B2 struggled during delivery, when his oxygen dropped and I had to put on oxygen mask, and D after delivery when he couldn't clear the fluid out of his lungs. While I don't know all the research to know if these are even known risk factors for IV painkillers and delivery, I felt that I needed to not do any painkillers this time and see if it made a difference. We explained that we did not want any painkillers to the nurse, but she still said I had to have an IV inserted and taped off due to hospital policy. It happened so fast, and I was not happy about it after the fact. I found out later that we could have avoided that if we had signed a waiver, and I wish we had been more forceful with the nurse. Oh well...notes for me for next time.

With B2, I was only in the hospital for about 3 hours before he was born--I was being monitored for an hour, at which point I was at least 5 cm dilated and moved to the labor room. I then went from a 5 to a 10 in another hour, at which point my water was broken and I started to push. He was born an hour later. So, I was hoping for another quick delivery (though hopefully much less pushing). But, sadly, I went at the normal rate--I was dilating about a cm per hour. Thankfully, my contractions were not intense for most of that time. I would describe them as uncomfortable--I would have to stop talking and focus on breathing, but other than that the time passed fairly easily, although slowly. We joked with Dr. M, who stopped in every hour or so, that he must be the only OB at the doctors' office who knows how to sweep membranes, because the other two OBs had not been successful. He kept me laughing whenever he came in. At 7:00 a.m. Dr M went home, and Dr. L came in! Dr. L was the same OB who delivered B2, and the reason why we returned to that practice for this pregnancy.

Around 9:00 a.m. the contractions started getting worse--they were more intense and painful, and seemed to be even closer together. I was checked, and still only around 7 cm. I feared that I would have another 3 hours of painful contractions, and was starting to doubt my decision to go natural. Brian and I talked, and we figured we would wait a little longer to see how much more I could handle. At 9:30 a.m., I asked the nurse to check me and I was still around 7.5 cm. I broke down and asked for the painkillers at this point, only to be told no--she said at this point I could go so quickly that it's not advised to have painkillers injected.. The contractions right after being checked were so intense that I quickly moved to the stage of thinking, "I can't do this!" After one or two contractions, I felt my body start pushing the baby. The nurse had mentioned that my OB had left the hospital to go to his office (it's just on the other side of the parking lot), so B1 quickly summoned the nurse and told her that my body was pushing and we needed the doctor back. By this point, it's now around 9:45 a.m. The nurse checked me again, and I was nearly at 10 cm. She summoned the doctor, and I started pushing. I was shocked that my body was pushing this baby out, because as of yet my water still hadn't broken. I didn't know it was possible to start delivering the baby while he was still enclosed in the amniotic sac. I guess I didn't pay enough attention in my birthing class when I was pregnant with B1. My water finally broke a few pushes before the baby's head came out. So, I had my first "spontaneous rupture." As with B1, there was meconium in the amniotic fluid, but I guess that's what I get for having full-term babies (and another reason I'm terrified of going past my due date).

I imagine the rest is fairly typical of labor--I pushed, screamed some, insisted I couldn't deliver this baby, and tried to convince the doctor that the baby's head wasn't going to fit, while he tried to convince me that there was plenty of room. Ha! You're going to tell the pregnant lady who is feeling every cm of her baby's head burning its way out that there's more room??? And then, suddenly, the head pops out, the body quickly follows, and all is right with the world.

I had always heard stories about people saying what a spiritual experience birth is, and I had felt kinda like a horrible person because the delivery had been such horrible experiences for me in the past. But, this time, I had had that spirtual experience. As soon as A's head was out, I felt an outpouring of peace, happiness, love, and so many other positive emotions that I don't even have words for. All thoughts of pain, frustration, and so on that I had just had were instantly gone, and all I could think about was this sweet baby in front of me, and he was the most perfect thing I had ever seen. I know it's probably silly and can't be proven scientifically, but I honestly think not having painkillers with this delivery made a huge difference. Now, I'm not saying that you can't have a similar wonderful experience with IV painkillers or epidurals, but for me the experience was so much better without the medications.

Little Strider, as he was known in the womb, was born at 10:20 a.m. He weighed 7 pounds and 13 ounces. I was shocked that he was so little. B2 was 6 ounces heavier and born one day earlier, so I was expecting at least an 8 pound baby. We moved into the recovery room, and within a few hours I was ready to go home, except we didn't have a name for the baby. B1 and I spent most of that day talking about it, and decided on A. Both his first name and nickname both have references to Lord of the Rings. The middle name was in a dream that B1 had, and we both liked it. It's a big name for a little guy, so we mainly call him by his initials.

My recovery was very fast and easy. I didn't have any pain medication in the hospital (to the shock of the nurses--they didn't seem to know what to do with me since I didn't need helping peeing and I didn't need drugs), and I didn't have an episiotomy or tear when delivery. Within a few hours, I felt almost as good as new (though it still hurt a bit to sit), and we pushed to be discharged the following morning. We were discharged about 26 hours after A was born.

So, overall, this birth was a wonderful experience. Yes, there was pain and frustration and fatigue, but mostly I remember the wonderful feelings associated with snuggling this cute, adorable baby. A was already sleeping 4-5 hours at a time in the hospital, and would sleep best at night, so I have been able to do fairly well on his sleep schedule. He hasn't grown as quickly as my other boys, which makes me both happy (because he stays a little boy for just a bit longer) and scared (because I'm worried he's not eating enough). I am thrilled that I get to stay at home with him and I don't have to leave him with a babysitter 5 days a week. I'm glad that I didn't stay on maternity leave for the full 12 weeks with my other boys, because it just would have been too heart-wrenching to come back after that. So I am just loving being able to cuddle A all day, every day. I may even indulge him a bit too much by holding him for his afternoon naps and letting him sleep in our bed after his 4:30 a.m. feeding, but I know he won't stay little for long.

A was blessed on Sunday, July 15th. Rinz and J came in to town from AR, and my parents, E, and K were in town from CA. We were sorely missed B1's sister C1, her husband B, and their kids, but other than that all of A's immediate and close extended family were there! Thank you to all who came--you made it the perfect day!

Funny Things D says

The other day I was snacking on some cucumbers and Ranch dressing. D will put Ranch on anything. It's a bonus when we want him to eat healthy stuff like carrots, but kinda gross when he puts it on his eggs. Anyway, the following conversation took place.

D: I want some Ranch!
Mommy: No.
Daddy (speaking to D): Why?
D: Because I said so, that's why!

Daddy looked surprised. He didn't think he said that phrase that often. I wasn't surprised--I knew D was parroting me. Oops! :)

Not a coincidence

Wow, what a week! It has been another crazy week. After we found out that our appraisal on our house came in under the purchase price, we submitted an addendum to the sellers (to then be forwarded to the bank) to amend the purchase price to the appraisal price and to adjust our financing and closing dates, as it would no longer be possible to meet the original dates in our contract. A few days after submitting the addendum to the sellers, our agent spent several days trying to reach the seller's agent to confirm that they had signed the addendum and forwarded it on the bank--no response. So, we were even more frustrated at our limbo status because we didn't even know if our paperwork was being considered by the bank yet, but we figured this was the price we were paying for buying a short sale. Nervous about the possibility that we might end up waiting months for the bank to approve the addendum (during which time our contract would expire and I could potentially have this baby and we could wear out our welcome at my in-laws' house), B1 and I scheduled to go see some new houses on Thursday night. At 4:00 p.m. Thursday night, we got a phone call from our agent that our buyer for our condo would not be able to close on Monday as we had expected, and would be requesting a few more days. B1 and I tried to just laugh (even though we were irritated), as we had spent all day Thursday packing up the essentials of our house in preparation for our move the next day. Not only was our house packed, we had reserved a rental truck, paid for a storage unit, notified friends and family that we would need help moving, and scheduled the termination of our utilities for Monday, allowing us time to move on Friday and clean the entire condo on Saturday. We were past the point of no return, and had to move out even though we could have stayed in our place for a few more days. So, anyway, back to the showings. We went and saw two houses. One was the exact same floorplan as the house we currently had our contract on, but their basement was completely finished and the yard wasn't quite as nice. As much as we tried to convince ourselves that it was the same thing, we just couldn't get over the fact that we wanted "our" house more. The other house we didn't like at all. So, we were back to hoping that everything would work out and we could still get in "our" house and settled long before this baby comes.

On Friday morning, we moved out. We started at 10:00 a.m., and with the wonderful help of family and some friends in the ward, we were done by 1:30--this included those helping us driving to the storage unit and my in-laws' house (multiple times) to also help us unload. We then sent everyone home and B1 and I spent the rest of the afternoon packing up what we hadn't packed before everyone showed up, and making a few more trips to empty out our condo. Friday morning, while packing and moving, we got a call from the title company and they scheduled our closing for Monday afternoon! We were so excited as we thought we were being postponed, and now we could close on time. Friday afternoon rolls around, and I got another call from the title company that our closing would have to be rescheduled for the following Monday due to a contract addendum she had received stating thus. We were shocked--we knew that our buyer needed more time, but had been told "a few days, and at the very latest Friday" and now we were being told another full week. We called our agent to ask what was going on--when she called back, she explained that the buyer simply asked for a week to eliminate the chance of having us sign another addendum "just in case," but that he was still hoping to close as quickly as possible. Somewhat relieved, we signed the addendum and figured that it didn't matter much at this point anyway--we were already moved out, and as long as he closes before the end of the month we won't have to pay another month of HOA fees and mortgage payments.

Today, B1 and I spent the entire day cleaning our condo, during which I was constantly embarrassed by the realization that I am a terrible housekeeper. I'm fairly sure that I cleaned some things today that have not been cleaned since we moved in nearly 7 years ago--cabinets, baseboards...oh dear. I need to have some type of routine that reminds me to clean these areas regularly, because frankly it was quite disturbing. I just hope our buyer appreciates it, even though he'll still probably end up painting over nearly everything I cleaned (cleaning just won't fix paint chips and the various marks all over the walls, doors, etc.). As B1 and I were taking a brief break from dinner, I saw a text from our real estate agent--the bank has approved our addendum! I was shocked!!! As I sat there eating my delicious cheeseburger and fries from Wasatch Deli, it hit me that our buyer had asked for a week extension on his contract, and the appraisal coming in low had delayed us exactly one week. Coincidence? I think not! I seriously had to marvel at the Lord's hand in this, and chastise myself a bit for not having more faith. I had hope, but not the level of faith to completely trust.

So, we are so excited!! Unfortunately, we won't be able to close by next week, which would have been great with B1's work schedule, but we'll have to make do. Right now, I'm content to stay at my in-laws' for a bit. Moving was rough, and we have way, WAY too much stuff for me to be excited about moving it all again.

One step forward, two steps back

It's been a while since I last posted about the sale of our condo. That's probably because we've had so many ups and downs that I felt I was always contradicting myself. First it was that we would be closing X day and moving Y, then that got pushed back a week, then a month. First we were having an inspection being done while we were on the cruise, and then we found out that the buyer decided to forgo the inspection. And stioll, the craziness continues. Thankfully, we seem to be in really good shape with the sale of the condo. According to the buyer's loan officer today, we will be all set to close next Monday, so we are moving this weekend! We ended up not getting the house I mentioned in my previous post, but found another short sale in the same neighborhood. Our offer was approved in less than two weeks by the bank, so we were on our way to moving into a house only about a week after closing on our condo.

Well, then the delays started. The bank wasn't providing our agent with the actual approval letter, but told us just to proceed as if we had it. That's all well and good for them, but "proceeding" meant a.) starting the loan paperwork and b.) incurring non-refundable costs on inspections and appraisals. Unfortunately, the first was not possible (the loan could not proceed without that bank approval) and the second wasn't wise (why should we incur expense simply because some agent we've never met said we had approval, which she was saying based on the word of some third party since she wasn't in possession of the approval either?). So, we sat and waited...and waited...and waited. Two weeks later, the bank FINALLY sends the letter, and now we are frantically trying to meet the deadlines stipulated in our original contract with the owners and rush our bank to complete our loan paperwork quickly. And, it was looking pretty good...until today. Our loan officer called and the appraisal on the home came back $7,000 too low. We are now left with one of three possible scenarios:

1. Take $7,000 of our down payment and give it to the bank, resulting in a higher PMI payment and money that's not doing anything for us as far as equity--or, in other words, pay $7,000 more than the house is worth. Um...no thanks!
2. Go back to the bank and ask that they accept a sale price that's $7,000 less to match the appraised price, and hope the bank reviews our appraisal, agrees, and lowers the price (and hopefully does this super, super fast so we don't delay our contract too long).
3. Go back to the bank and ask that they accept a sale price that's $7,000 less to match the appraised price, after which the bank says they want another opinion and goes through the process of getting a BPO and/or another appraisal done before they begin negotiating with us on the final sale price, which could take months to complete.

So, needless to say, option 2 is what we're hoping for, but we are back to being in limbo--there's nothing we can do but sit and what to hear what the bank is going to do. As I was thinking stewing on this tonight, I've had a hard time not getting discouraged. We really like this house, even though it's by no means our dream house. It will have some room to grow, but we love the neighborhood and we have been so excited about all that home ownership will finally provide us with--a garage, a backyard, a basement, a garden--that to have this comes up feels like we're losing it all when it was so very close. We have been so lucky to have this process go so quickly--the sale of our condo in less than 24 hours, the approval of a short sale in just a few weeks--that any delay feels like it's all just been too good to be true. Now, I'm not writing about all this because I want sympathy or pity--I don't. I know we have been truly blessed so far in this process, and we're keenly aware of how many of our good friends in the ward would kill to be in our shoes. I've mainly been explaining all this to provide a (very long) lead-in to one of the most powerful talks I've ever heard, and which I am re-reading tonight. This talk was given by Elder Oaks at a BYU devotional in the winter of 2002, while I was in Nauvoo. At the time, I felt he was giving it specifically for me, as I had spent the past year struggling with frustration that life was not going the way I wanted it to go. The previous semester I had spent practically throwing myself at a guy who lead me on, I was rooming with the girl who was engaged to my best friend that I secretly had very strong feelings for, I was taking a semester off from my major, and I was hoping to serve a mission in about 18 months when I turned 21 despite my frustrations that I had been at BYU for "so long" and still wasn't married (yes, I was actually freaking out about not being married when I was 19!). So, anyway, this talk made me sit back and remind myself that a.) I wasn't as old as I thought, and b.) the Lord really knew better than I did about how my life should go, and I should just shut up and listen instead of telling Him how it was going to work. Now...fast forward 10 years, and B1 and I are feeling very scared. We are about to sell our condo with its lovely low mortgage payment and move away from our ward that we love so much, and we had no idea where we were going to go or if we could even find some place that we could afford. B1 was more afraid than I was, for some strange reason--usually when it comes to lack of faith, I take the cake. But this talk from ten years prior popped in my head, and we read it, and again I felt that Elder Oaks had given it for me...but for the now-me, as it applied in a whole new way.

I wanted to include a few of my favorite parts from his talk. Maybe this is just for me so I have easy access to my thoughts on this subject, but maybe this will help someone out there in blogland too.

• "In all the important decisions in our lives, what is most important is to do the right thing. Second, and only slightly behind the first, is to do the right thing at the right time."
• "The first principle of the gospel is faith in the Lord Jesus Christ. Faith means trust—trust in God’s will, trust in His way of doing things, and trust in His timetable."
• "The Lord’s timing also applies to the important events of our personal lives. A great scripture in the Doctrine and Covenants declares that a particular spiritual experience will come to us 'in his own time, and in his own way, and according to his own will' (D&C 88:68). This principle applies to revelation and to all of the most important events in our lives: birth, marriage, death, and even our moves from place to place. It is not enough that we are going in the right direction. The timing must be right, and if the time is not right, our actions should be adjusted to the Lord’s timetable as revealed by His servants."
• "Faith in the Lord Jesus Christ prepares us for whatever life brings. This kind of faith prepares us to deal with life’s opportunities—to take advantage of those that are received and to persist through the disappointments of those that are lost."
• "If we have faith in God and if we are committed to the fundamentals of keeping His commandments and putting Him first in our lives, we do not need to plan every single event—even every important event—and we should not feel rejected or depressed if some things—even some very important things—do not happen at the time we had planned or hoped or prayed."

So, let's hope I can do as Elder Oaks suggested, and take comfort in letting the Lord take control. Otherwise, I can only expect horrible heartburn in the near future as we anxiously wait the bank's decision.

Polars

This past week we had a super scary moment at the park. I had just taken D to the potty in the clubhouse and we were walking back out. B2 was playing with a friend on the slides, and D was insisting on me pushing him in the swing. Well, with me being 30 weeks pregnant, I'm not really enjoying pushing him, which requires me to stand for long periods of time and usually results in at least one accidental kick to my stomach (not hard--I'm sure our baby is doing just fine). So, I told him I wasn't going to push him on the swings and he should go play on the slides with his brother. D started throwing a massive tantrum, which I tried to ignore by walking away. Well, he follows me, and as we're sitting down I've noticed that I haven't heard any sound from his "screaming" tantrum for a little longer than usual. Once again, D has thrown one of his fits where he stopped breathing. So, I waited...and waited...and waited...longer than usual this time. D's lips started turning blue, then his face... His eyes looked panic and then rolled back in his head... My immediate thought was to do the Heimlich --after all, what else would be causing him not to breathe? Maybe he put something in his mouth while I wasn't looking and started choking? Heimlich Maneuver did nothing. D wasn't breathing, and I didn't know what to do. I was just about to run to a neighbor's house and ask for help while I called 911 when he suddenly took a big gasp and resumed breathing, sobbing gently.

This isn't the first time this has happened. Two or three times previously D had been in the middle of a tantrum when he would stop breathing, but this was the longest it had gone on and the worst I had seen. I sat, close to tears, and cuddled him, feeling hopeless that this would happen again and there would be nothing I could do to save my little boy. So, with no other options, I started searching the internet to see if anyone else experienced something similar. My first few results talked about children voluntarily holding their breath to get what they wanted, but I knew D wasn't doing this--his panicked look indicated that he clearly had no control over what was happening. Finally, I saw this website, and I became somewhat relieved. This seemed to be exactly what was happening--these spells occurred during tantrums and were not the conscious will of the child. After reading about the possible family history link, I called my mom, and sure enough one of my siblings also suffered from the same thing as a child (I'm sure my siblings can guess which one, but it's not my place to post it here), which would also confirm a family history (though not directly from me or my husband). Probably the most disconcerting part of the article is to ignore these spells as much as possible. Really--someone wants me to ignore the fact that my child can't breathe?? My mom made a good recommendation that I take a CPR class, which I will be doing next month, so that I can help D resume breathing should he pass out and not immediately start on his own. But seriously, this is awful! I thought night terrors were hard to handle, but these are way, way worse. At least with the night terrors I knew that B2 would eventually wake up or go back to sleep and be fine--I don't yet have the same reassurance with D.

So, after learning that D has horrific temper tantrums, the next day we had the polar opposite. Yesterday morning while I was blow-drying and flat-ironing my hair, D came in the bathroom and said he wanted to watch. He watched for a second, then whispered, almost in awe, "Wow... You so pretty!" He really can be a sweet boy, which I just have to remind myself of for all those other times that he seems like a demon child. I sure do love this little boy of mine though.

Funny Things B2 Says

This afternoon in the car: "Mom, everyone thinks I'm the greatest person in the world."

Yes, B2, we do. :)

Not A (Complete) Failure

Sunday was a glorious day in our house. Sr and I got back from our week-long cruise late Saturday night (yes, I'll post about that eventually), so after our absence our boys were really excited to be with us again. So, on Sunday they were on their best behaviors, especially during church. Each Sunday we usually give each one of the boys a snack container with some type of snack (goldfish, cereal, etc.), because they're usually quiet while they eat and that's a small sort of accomplishment. Well, this Sunday B2 completely finished his goldfish fairly quickly, and quietly put the container away. That alone was amazing, but what happened next nearly brought me to tears. D had noticed that B2's container was all gone, and his container was still mostly full. So, without any attempts at getting recognition for what he was about to do, he pulled out B2's container, took off the lid, took off the lid to his own container, and dumped half of his goldfish into B2's container. I was watching, curious, as he struggled to put the lids back on. D then put B2's container back where he found it. At this point, I pointed Jr in the direction of his container and he was so happy to discover that he had more fish to eat!

I sat and thought about D giving up half of his snack without being asked, and without seeking glory for the kindness he was doing. And, for a brief second, I thought that I must be doing something right...even if they attempt to annoy each other to the point of insanity most of the time.

What a week!

Wow, what a week!! It seems like months have passed instead of only a few days.

Last weekend the (little) boys and I flew out to Arkansas to visit my sister. She lives in a small town about a hour and a half outside of Little Rock. I must admit, I was expecting some small, almost hick-ish, town, full of overalls and people I can't understand. I joked with her that I almost brought my passport to visit her foreign city. I was actually surprised to see how large it was, and the accents were (mostly) quite easy to understand. It took us nearly 11 hours of flight and drive time and two airplanes to get us there. We left around 7:30 a.m. Mountain time on Thursday, and arrived at her house at 7:30 p.m. Central time. B2 and D were just THRILLED to be with their Aunt Rinz and Uncle J again. B2 would fearfully ask me every few hours if we had to go home the next day, and was so happy to hear that the answer was no. In the Little Rock airport, once D heard that we were done flying and that Rinz was going to pick us up, he started running through the terminal to see her. I couldn't keep up! He was just so excited, and confirmed that it IS possible for him to walk faster than he does 99% of the time when I'm in a hurry.

On Friday we went and met Rinz's co-workers. She works for a paving company, and I thought for sure that this is where I'd meet the rednecks--after all, what do you picture when you think of truckers and construction workers from Arkansas? Not only were they not rednecks, they were hilarious! We were there for probably a half hour, during which time B2 and D took turns putting on a football helmet and ramming each other, and B2 played football down the hall with one of bosses. We also met some friends of Rinz's. That evening I got to watch them coach their club volleyball team. They are coaching 8th grade girls, so it was definitely not the same as watching Rinz's college team play, or even the club team she was on as a senior. But, sadly, those girls probably would have beat our Relief Society volleyball team. That night they had a really cool thunder/lightening storm. It reminded me of my days in Nauvoo, IL. I laid in bed with the blinds pulled all the way up, watching the lightening completely light up their backyard, and trying not to let myself get freaked out by the potential horror-story scenery. Part of me was glad when it was over so I could put my blinds back down...

On Saturday we went to a park to let the boys run around and get out some wiggles. It was rather cold, and some parts completely soaked from the previous night's storm, so we didn't stay too long. We ended up just hanging out the rest of the day at Rinz and J's house. Once the boys went to bed, Rinz and J and I stayed up late playing games. It's the simple times like those that make me really miss my sister. I think she felt a little bad that we spent so much time lounging around her house, but I personally loved it. I got to relax, I didn't have to worry about my kids destroying stuff (too much, though D did seem intent on touching every single thing in Rinz's house), and I got to just hang out with my sis. Good times!

Sunday we went to church with Rinz. B2 was pretty depressed all morning when he realized that we would be going home that day, though I was surprised that he didn't cry at all. Anyway, I was a little worried about my boys in church, because we have a VERY VERY loud congregation since we have so many young children in our ward. So, I was worried that my kids would either be really loud, or it would just seem that way because everyone else was quiet. Sure enough, during a very quiet part of the service after taking a drink of water, D smacked his lips and said, "Ah!" I heard quiet chuckles all around, and was glad that a.) most people found it funny, and b.) that's the worst he said. Well, sure enough, a few minutes later he picked up his Tigger stuffed animal and in his cute little voice said, "Bun cheeks, bun cheeks, bun cheeks!" I closed my eyes hoping that no one else would understand what he was saying, but when I opened them I found that the shoulders of the people in front of me were shaking with laughter, and I internally groaned--of course everyone would understand that!! Thankfully, that pretty much WAS the worst that he said, and we had an enjoyable meeting. We left immediately after that, had some lunch, and drove to the airport. We then spent the rest of Super Bowl Sunday on airplanes and in airports, with me trying desperately to herd my children, two suitcases, two car seats, two stuffed animals, a diaper bag, my purse, and my ginormous self through the crowded and unfamiliar terminals. And, unfortunately, I had two children who were not terribly excited about putting more distance between them and their beloved aunt and uncle, which only added to the  difficulties. But, we made it back without injuries or beatings, so I consider the trip a success. But that doesn't mean I'm doing it again any time soon, at least not without another adult to help me.

Once back from Arkansas, we tried to get back into our normal routine. Things were relatively back to normal until Wednesday, when we got a call from a neighbor. She had had her condo on the market for about five months, and out of the blue got two offers that were involved in a bidding war. She knew that the buyer that would most likely lose really wanted a bottom floor unit in our complex, and knew that B1 and I had kicked around the idea of putting our condo back on the market in the spring. She wanted to know if we were already working with an agent and, if not, if her agent could give us a call. I said yes, but didn't really expect it to amount to much.

The next day I got a call from her agent around 12:30, and she said that the buyer was still interested and when we could be ready to show. I told her all the things we had wanted to do before we listed it (paint, decorate, fix some stuff up, clean, de-clutter, etc.), and said that I could have it in good show-ready condition, if not in staged condition, in about a week. She said she'd talk to the buyer's agent and call me back. She called me back at 1:00 and said the buyer wanted to walk through at 5:00 that night. I explained that the house was messy (I hadn't even done the dishes from the night before), and that there were some large items I wanted to remove to make the rooms look better. I said I'd do my best, and asked if she could come early and let me know if I would be doing more harm than good by showing it in its current state. She agreed. I called B1 and let him know, called my in-laws and asked them to watch the kids so I could clean, put out a plea on Facebook for help cleaning, and called my sister Beez and asked for her help. B1 ended up getting off work early, my father-in-law loaned us his truck (and offered space in his basement) to move extra items out, and the neighbor who sent us her Realtor with a buyer and my sister came and helped clean. It was nuts--we got the house super clean, removed a queen bed and dresser and quite a few boxes and bags of extra items and odds and ends, and walked out the door promptly at 5:00 p.m. as the buyer's agent was pulling up. I never could have done that if not for Beez, B1, my mother- and father-in-law, Beth (the neighbor), and Erin (another neighbor who watched Beth's daughter so Beth could help). You guys are awesome!! We were afraid that this guy would see our condo in its quickly-cleaned state after seeing Beth's show-ready condo and not want it, but he made us an offer late that night which we accepted on Friday.

We then sat in shock as we realized what this all meant--in less than 24 hours, we went from maybe thinking about considering the possibility of selling our condo to almost-definitely moving (assuming the contract goes through smoothly). After nearly 7 years, we will be selling our condo, moving out of our wonderful ward and away from so many friends, and going to live who knows where. It's horribly depressing and super exciting, all at the same time. After all the complaining we've I've done about our HOA and the restrictions and blah blah blah, I'm seriously going to miss this place. It's been a great home for us, and we know we made the right decision to move there in the first place.

Yesterday we went and found a home that we are really excited about, and have our first offer of our new buying season in. I know, it seems crazy that we're bidding on the first home we walked through, but keep in mind that we really started home shopping a year and a half ago when we put our condo on the market last time, and haven't really stopped. We kept watching the MLS, getting sad at homes we loved going under contract and secretly hoping that some homes would stay on the market until we would be ready to buy again. Plus, the one we saw is a little bit of a fixer-upper, but has so much potential and has just about EVERYTHING we want: a big backyard (bonus: it's already almost completely fenced in), cold storage in the basement for all my food storage, a garage, a decent-sized kitchen, a pretty porch, and a good neighborhood. But, we know we are going to be one of many offers made on this place, and we also know we won't hear anything for at least another week (if we can survive the anticipation). On the one hand, we think it too good to be true that we would buy the first house we find that we really love, but on the other hand a week ago we would have never thought it possible to sell our unlisted condo within 24 hours. So, we will just have to see. We are going to keep looking at other houses as they become available and hope we find something quickly, as we will most likely be moving in with my in-laws until we find a house. While I so appreciate our in-laws taking us in, I know it's in both our and their best interest that we don't stay too long. :)

So, that's our week. Sheesh! Absolutely crazy, but at least it's a good crazy.

Funny Things D Says

This really ought to be more of a "Sweet Things D Says" but since I don't want to create a new category...

Me: "Do you want a Gummy Bear?" (Yes, I'm an awesome mom for giving my kid Gummy Bears for breakfast)
D: "Yeah! Yeah, yeah yeah!"
[D picks out his Gummy Bear]
D: "B2 wants one!"

He then carefully picks out a bear for his brother, runs to him, and in the most excited voice says, "Here B2! Gummy Bear!"

Funny Things B2 Says

The greatest prayer I've heard to date:

"...Thank you that we could play with dart guns, and hiding, and everything. Thank you that we have D that he can grow and be so good at it. Please bless that I never have to have salad again. In the name..."

My eyes were watering because I was trying so hard not to laugh...