On Monday this week, B1 and I were making dinner and cleaning
up the kitchen (translation: I was playing games on my phonewhile my
husband did dishes, and dinner was cooking in the crock pot). D had
been sent to his room for refusing to do time out for refusing to help
me clean up the front room. So, there we were, when we both heard the
sound of glass breaking. In a panic, we ran to D's room , and found
him standing perfectly still, with a broken window. We asked him what
happened, and he said he had thrown his soccer shin guards at the
window. By this point, I was so done--D had ignored me all day, and
I was tired of fighting him. I knew if I had tried to punish him, it
would have been so ridiculous (you know, something like "you're not
eating for a week"), so I walked out. B1 stayed behind to clean up
the glass, but he too was too angry to punish D. We told him the
punishment would come after we had a chance to talk to each other. We
called our parents, asked some advice, and finally decided on the
following:
- Since D had inappropriately used his shin guards, he was going
to lose those for 24 hours. The next night he had a soccer game, so we
took him to the game, sans guards. As such, he had to sit on the
sidelines and watch his team play.
- Since D had caused damage that would be expensive to replace,
we felt that he had to "earn" some of the money to fix the window. He
would do this by doing extra chores. As an added incentive to do those
chores, he will not be allowed to watch TV until all the money is
earned.
So, the day after the window incident, D asked over and
over again if he could watch TV. Every time we said no, and he would
whine, "Why?" I'd look at him and ask back, "Why can't you watch TV?"
He'd glumly reply, "Because I broke the window and now I have to do
chores." Then I'd ask if he wanted to do chores, and he'd say no. 30
minutes later, and the scene repeats. Day 2 was much the same, though
with fewer requests to watch TV.
Today
started off the same--D asking to watch TV, and me saying no. When
I asked this time if he wanted to do chores, he said yes! I was
shocked, but quickly found some chores to do--cleaning air vents and
washing baseboards. It only lasted about 30 minutes, though he might
have cleaned longer if it weren't for friends stopping by (I was
babysitting this morning).
So, chalk this up to a parenting WIN! Thanks to our parents (and sister-in-law C2) for the great advice!
