Not a coincidence

Wow, what a week! It has been another crazy week. After we found out that our appraisal on our house came in under the purchase price, we submitted an addendum to the sellers (to then be forwarded to the bank) to amend the purchase price to the appraisal price and to adjust our financing and closing dates, as it would no longer be possible to meet the original dates in our contract. A few days after submitting the addendum to the sellers, our agent spent several days trying to reach the seller's agent to confirm that they had signed the addendum and forwarded it on the bank--no response. So, we were even more frustrated at our limbo status because we didn't even know if our paperwork was being considered by the bank yet, but we figured this was the price we were paying for buying a short sale. Nervous about the possibility that we might end up waiting months for the bank to approve the addendum (during which time our contract would expire and I could potentially have this baby and we could wear out our welcome at my in-laws' house), B1 and I scheduled to go see some new houses on Thursday night. At 4:00 p.m. Thursday night, we got a phone call from our agent that our buyer for our condo would not be able to close on Monday as we had expected, and would be requesting a few more days. B1 and I tried to just laugh (even though we were irritated), as we had spent all day Thursday packing up the essentials of our house in preparation for our move the next day. Not only was our house packed, we had reserved a rental truck, paid for a storage unit, notified friends and family that we would need help moving, and scheduled the termination of our utilities for Monday, allowing us time to move on Friday and clean the entire condo on Saturday. We were past the point of no return, and had to move out even though we could have stayed in our place for a few more days. So, anyway, back to the showings. We went and saw two houses. One was the exact same floorplan as the house we currently had our contract on, but their basement was completely finished and the yard wasn't quite as nice. As much as we tried to convince ourselves that it was the same thing, we just couldn't get over the fact that we wanted "our" house more. The other house we didn't like at all. So, we were back to hoping that everything would work out and we could still get in "our" house and settled long before this baby comes.

On Friday morning, we moved out. We started at 10:00 a.m., and with the wonderful help of family and some friends in the ward, we were done by 1:30--this included those helping us driving to the storage unit and my in-laws' house (multiple times) to also help us unload. We then sent everyone home and B1 and I spent the rest of the afternoon packing up what we hadn't packed before everyone showed up, and making a few more trips to empty out our condo. Friday morning, while packing and moving, we got a call from the title company and they scheduled our closing for Monday afternoon! We were so excited as we thought we were being postponed, and now we could close on time. Friday afternoon rolls around, and I got another call from the title company that our closing would have to be rescheduled for the following Monday due to a contract addendum she had received stating thus. We were shocked--we knew that our buyer needed more time, but had been told "a few days, and at the very latest Friday" and now we were being told another full week. We called our agent to ask what was going on--when she called back, she explained that the buyer simply asked for a week to eliminate the chance of having us sign another addendum "just in case," but that he was still hoping to close as quickly as possible. Somewhat relieved, we signed the addendum and figured that it didn't matter much at this point anyway--we were already moved out, and as long as he closes before the end of the month we won't have to pay another month of HOA fees and mortgage payments.

Today, B1 and I spent the entire day cleaning our condo, during which I was constantly embarrassed by the realization that I am a terrible housekeeper. I'm fairly sure that I cleaned some things today that have not been cleaned since we moved in nearly 7 years ago--cabinets, baseboards...oh dear. I need to have some type of routine that reminds me to clean these areas regularly, because frankly it was quite disturbing. I just hope our buyer appreciates it, even though he'll still probably end up painting over nearly everything I cleaned (cleaning just won't fix paint chips and the various marks all over the walls, doors, etc.). As B1 and I were taking a brief break from dinner, I saw a text from our real estate agent--the bank has approved our addendum! I was shocked!!! As I sat there eating my delicious cheeseburger and fries from Wasatch Deli, it hit me that our buyer had asked for a week extension on his contract, and the appraisal coming in low had delayed us exactly one week. Coincidence? I think not! I seriously had to marvel at the Lord's hand in this, and chastise myself a bit for not having more faith. I had hope, but not the level of faith to completely trust.

So, we are so excited!! Unfortunately, we won't be able to close by next week, which would have been great with B1's work schedule, but we'll have to make do. Right now, I'm content to stay at my in-laws' for a bit. Moving was rough, and we have way, WAY too much stuff for me to be excited about moving it all again.

One step forward, two steps back

It's been a while since I last posted about the sale of our condo. That's probably because we've had so many ups and downs that I felt I was always contradicting myself. First it was that we would be closing X day and moving Y, then that got pushed back a week, then a month. First we were having an inspection being done while we were on the cruise, and then we found out that the buyer decided to forgo the inspection. And stioll, the craziness continues. Thankfully, we seem to be in really good shape with the sale of the condo. According to the buyer's loan officer today, we will be all set to close next Monday, so we are moving this weekend! We ended up not getting the house I mentioned in my previous post, but found another short sale in the same neighborhood. Our offer was approved in less than two weeks by the bank, so we were on our way to moving into a house only about a week after closing on our condo.

Well, then the delays started. The bank wasn't providing our agent with the actual approval letter, but told us just to proceed as if we had it. That's all well and good for them, but "proceeding" meant a.) starting the loan paperwork and b.) incurring non-refundable costs on inspections and appraisals. Unfortunately, the first was not possible (the loan could not proceed without that bank approval) and the second wasn't wise (why should we incur expense simply because some agent we've never met said we had approval, which she was saying based on the word of some third party since she wasn't in possession of the approval either?). So, we sat and waited...and waited...and waited. Two weeks later, the bank FINALLY sends the letter, and now we are frantically trying to meet the deadlines stipulated in our original contract with the owners and rush our bank to complete our loan paperwork quickly. And, it was looking pretty good...until today. Our loan officer called and the appraisal on the home came back $7,000 too low. We are now left with one of three possible scenarios:

1. Take $7,000 of our down payment and give it to the bank, resulting in a higher PMI payment and money that's not doing anything for us as far as equity--or, in other words, pay $7,000 more than the house is worth. Um...no thanks!
2. Go back to the bank and ask that they accept a sale price that's $7,000 less to match the appraised price, and hope the bank reviews our appraisal, agrees, and lowers the price (and hopefully does this super, super fast so we don't delay our contract too long).
3. Go back to the bank and ask that they accept a sale price that's $7,000 less to match the appraised price, after which the bank says they want another opinion and goes through the process of getting a BPO and/or another appraisal done before they begin negotiating with us on the final sale price, which could take months to complete.

So, needless to say, option 2 is what we're hoping for, but we are back to being in limbo--there's nothing we can do but sit and what to hear what the bank is going to do. As I was thinking stewing on this tonight, I've had a hard time not getting discouraged. We really like this house, even though it's by no means our dream house. It will have some room to grow, but we love the neighborhood and we have been so excited about all that home ownership will finally provide us with--a garage, a backyard, a basement, a garden--that to have this comes up feels like we're losing it all when it was so very close. We have been so lucky to have this process go so quickly--the sale of our condo in less than 24 hours, the approval of a short sale in just a few weeks--that any delay feels like it's all just been too good to be true. Now, I'm not writing about all this because I want sympathy or pity--I don't. I know we have been truly blessed so far in this process, and we're keenly aware of how many of our good friends in the ward would kill to be in our shoes. I've mainly been explaining all this to provide a (very long) lead-in to one of the most powerful talks I've ever heard, and which I am re-reading tonight. This talk was given by Elder Oaks at a BYU devotional in the winter of 2002, while I was in Nauvoo. At the time, I felt he was giving it specifically for me, as I had spent the past year struggling with frustration that life was not going the way I wanted it to go. The previous semester I had spent practically throwing myself at a guy who lead me on, I was rooming with the girl who was engaged to my best friend that I secretly had very strong feelings for, I was taking a semester off from my major, and I was hoping to serve a mission in about 18 months when I turned 21 despite my frustrations that I had been at BYU for "so long" and still wasn't married (yes, I was actually freaking out about not being married when I was 19!). So, anyway, this talk made me sit back and remind myself that a.) I wasn't as old as I thought, and b.) the Lord really knew better than I did about how my life should go, and I should just shut up and listen instead of telling Him how it was going to work. Now...fast forward 10 years, and B1 and I are feeling very scared. We are about to sell our condo with its lovely low mortgage payment and move away from our ward that we love so much, and we had no idea where we were going to go or if we could even find some place that we could afford. B1 was more afraid than I was, for some strange reason--usually when it comes to lack of faith, I take the cake. But this talk from ten years prior popped in my head, and we read it, and again I felt that Elder Oaks had given it for me...but for the now-me, as it applied in a whole new way.

I wanted to include a few of my favorite parts from his talk. Maybe this is just for me so I have easy access to my thoughts on this subject, but maybe this will help someone out there in blogland too.

• "In all the important decisions in our lives, what is most important is to do the right thing. Second, and only slightly behind the first, is to do the right thing at the right time."
• "The first principle of the gospel is faith in the Lord Jesus Christ. Faith means trust—trust in God’s will, trust in His way of doing things, and trust in His timetable."
• "The Lord’s timing also applies to the important events of our personal lives. A great scripture in the Doctrine and Covenants declares that a particular spiritual experience will come to us 'in his own time, and in his own way, and according to his own will' (D&C 88:68). This principle applies to revelation and to all of the most important events in our lives: birth, marriage, death, and even our moves from place to place. It is not enough that we are going in the right direction. The timing must be right, and if the time is not right, our actions should be adjusted to the Lord’s timetable as revealed by His servants."
• "Faith in the Lord Jesus Christ prepares us for whatever life brings. This kind of faith prepares us to deal with life’s opportunities—to take advantage of those that are received and to persist through the disappointments of those that are lost."
• "If we have faith in God and if we are committed to the fundamentals of keeping His commandments and putting Him first in our lives, we do not need to plan every single event—even every important event—and we should not feel rejected or depressed if some things—even some very important things—do not happen at the time we had planned or hoped or prayed."

So, let's hope I can do as Elder Oaks suggested, and take comfort in letting the Lord take control. Otherwise, I can only expect horrible heartburn in the near future as we anxiously wait the bank's decision.

Polars

This past week we had a super scary moment at the park. I had just taken D to the potty in the clubhouse and we were walking back out. B2 was playing with a friend on the slides, and D was insisting on me pushing him in the swing. Well, with me being 30 weeks pregnant, I'm not really enjoying pushing him, which requires me to stand for long periods of time and usually results in at least one accidental kick to my stomach (not hard--I'm sure our baby is doing just fine). So, I told him I wasn't going to push him on the swings and he should go play on the slides with his brother. D started throwing a massive tantrum, which I tried to ignore by walking away. Well, he follows me, and as we're sitting down I've noticed that I haven't heard any sound from his "screaming" tantrum for a little longer than usual. Once again, D has thrown one of his fits where he stopped breathing. So, I waited...and waited...and waited...longer than usual this time. D's lips started turning blue, then his face... His eyes looked panic and then rolled back in his head... My immediate thought was to do the Heimlich --after all, what else would be causing him not to breathe? Maybe he put something in his mouth while I wasn't looking and started choking? Heimlich Maneuver did nothing. D wasn't breathing, and I didn't know what to do. I was just about to run to a neighbor's house and ask for help while I called 911 when he suddenly took a big gasp and resumed breathing, sobbing gently.

This isn't the first time this has happened. Two or three times previously D had been in the middle of a tantrum when he would stop breathing, but this was the longest it had gone on and the worst I had seen. I sat, close to tears, and cuddled him, feeling hopeless that this would happen again and there would be nothing I could do to save my little boy. So, with no other options, I started searching the internet to see if anyone else experienced something similar. My first few results talked about children voluntarily holding their breath to get what they wanted, but I knew D wasn't doing this--his panicked look indicated that he clearly had no control over what was happening. Finally, I saw this website, and I became somewhat relieved. This seemed to be exactly what was happening--these spells occurred during tantrums and were not the conscious will of the child. After reading about the possible family history link, I called my mom, and sure enough one of my siblings also suffered from the same thing as a child (I'm sure my siblings can guess which one, but it's not my place to post it here), which would also confirm a family history (though not directly from me or my husband). Probably the most disconcerting part of the article is to ignore these spells as much as possible. Really--someone wants me to ignore the fact that my child can't breathe?? My mom made a good recommendation that I take a CPR class, which I will be doing next month, so that I can help D resume breathing should he pass out and not immediately start on his own. But seriously, this is awful! I thought night terrors were hard to handle, but these are way, way worse. At least with the night terrors I knew that B2 would eventually wake up or go back to sleep and be fine--I don't yet have the same reassurance with D.

So, after learning that D has horrific temper tantrums, the next day we had the polar opposite. Yesterday morning while I was blow-drying and flat-ironing my hair, D came in the bathroom and said he wanted to watch. He watched for a second, then whispered, almost in awe, "Wow... You so pretty!" He really can be a sweet boy, which I just have to remind myself of for all those other times that he seems like a demon child. I sure do love this little boy of mine though.