Saturday, January 11, 2014

I need to be better

I need to be better about blogging. Since I'm not really keeping much of a journal, this blog has been a good way for me to remember the fun things my kids say and their odd stages. I had already forgotten about A applauding my cooking until I read my blog post about it. But, I guess that's to be expected, since I've also forgotten my boys' names, what day it is, and what I did yesterday. Pregnancy brain has fully settled in, and I find myself incapable of locating keys or remembering conversations.

Since I didn't write a Christmas summary letter this year, I might as well take this time to do an update on our family.

B -- B1 has been super busy finishing our basement. What started as an attempt to finish one bedroom so we would have room for this new baby has lead to framing the entire basement, finishing the bedroom, and completing a bathroom. While we are still a long way from being done, B1 has made some amazing progress, and done all of it (so far) without contracting it out. We have had some wonderful help from one of his coworkers, his dad, and a few neighbors. We've chalked up his urgency to do this to his "nesting" stage. He's always nested worse than I do when the pregnancy draws to a close. Last year the nesting instinct was satisfied by all the work we had to do on our new house; with D, B1 painted our condo; with B2, he unpacked boxes that had sat for a year and set up the nursery.

B2 -- B2 started basketball this week through the city program. He is very excited. He spent most of last summer/fall playing basketball, so he's really excited to be on this team. As an added bonus, a friend of his from 1st grade is on his team, and he was just super thrilled about this. We're still not sure if transferring him to the charter school was a good idea. Academically, I believe it was--he has done much better in class, and the communication from his teacher is well above what we've had from the traditional schools. But, we really worry about B2 making friends. We are now halfway through the year, and I still don't think he has really made a friend. When he has free time and wants to invite someone to play, it's always the neighbor kids or friends from past wards/schools. When we ask about his friends at school, he mainly refers to this one boy that (frankly) I don't think treats him very well, but B2 insists on continuing to try. I hate to transfer him back, particularly because I know one of the 4th grade teachers at the charter school and REALLY REALLY want B2 in her class; if we leave next year, it will be a small chance that he will get back in.  We're just going to have to keep watching him closely and this summer reconsider whether this school is the best option for him.

D -- We are realizing more and more that there must be a pre-Earth life, because D has a personality so incredibly different from his brothers. We have really struggled over the last few months trying to understand how to be the sort of parents that D needs. He is a wonderful, sweet boy that needs lots of attention and lots of choices. I'm still learning how to give him options that I can live with. For example, I have places that I need to be (doctor appointments, church, etc.), and I have places I want to go (shopping, play dates, and so on), both of which require certain behaviors from Dallas (such as getting dressed and putting on shoes). Sometimes, he has no problem doing what I ask, but more often it seems that the more urgent my errand, the more stubborn he becomes. I quickly run out of options--I can't leave him home alone, I can't take him shopping in just his underwear, or shorts and a shirt without shoes when it's 5 degrees outside, and staying home and missing my appointment only hurts me and doesn't teach him anything. So, we've been doing a lot of experimenting with different rewards, punishments, and language to see what works. Of course, the same thing doesn't work every day, but generally I think we are making progress. I'm trying to appreciate his stubborn personality and likewise release some of my own preconceived notions of parenthood. But, the last few months have taught me a lot about the importance of agency, and how our Heavenly Father must feel when we use our agency for good. I am so pleased when D happily says, "Yes Mommy" when I ask him to do something, or when he comes and tells me that he made a paper airplane just for me. Now, if I only I could make him love to get dressed and run errands with me (or go to preschool and church happily), we'd have it made. :)

A -- A is officially into EVERYTHING now. He can finally climb onto our couches and kitchen chairs (they are slightly taller than I think is average, so we got a few extra months where he would try but just could pull himself up onto these furniture pieces). He has also discovered that he can push our kitchen chairs over to the counters so he can climb up and reach what is on the counters. He can also bypass the baby locks on the cabinets (most worrisome is the one that locks up all our cleaning products; thankfully, right now he mainly likes to pull everything out but doesn't try to eat any of the poisons) and climb up and down stairs. He can't open doors yet or climb out of his crib, so we do still have some control over where he can go in the house, but I'm sure that won't be long. We stored his high chair this past week or so, and he now sits at the table in a booster seat. He loves being with the family and loves to feed himself, but he also loves to throw everything--food, toys, books, sippy cups, and so on. Sometimes I wonder if he's going to stop growing because I'm convinced all of his food winds up on the floor. But, regardless of the mischief, he does everything with a smile. Well--except going to nursery. He cries about that. But he's very happy otherwise. He still claps a lot, and is getting better about saying Thank You. He's even starting to form sentences. The other day at dinner, A randomly pointed at Dad and said, "That's Dadda; that's Mama [pointing at me]." Brian and I looked at each other to confirm that we heard what we thought we heard. A has a rather extensive vocabulary, though I still think it's only our family that can understand most of his words. He likes to say "Bye!" to everyone that leaves--the cashier at the grocery store, his teachers in nursery, the neighbors who knock on the door. He may not be so willing to say hi, but he'll happily bid them farewell. But, probably my favorite part of the day is when Dad comes home, and A happily cries, "Hi Dadda!" and runs to him to give him a hug. It reminds me of when I was a kid, and how we'd all cheer when my dad came home from work and run to say hi.

And, then there's me. I finished working at CP at the end of December. I'd been there in one capacity or another for the past 8.5 years, so it was very surreal to be attending my final Christmas party and to be processing my final payroll. I still wake up each morning and think that I need to check my email, and I wonder each day what's happening in the office and thinking about what I need to do for the upcoming payroll and which new employees need insurance paperwork.

My pregnancy has been going well. The baby moves consistently and measures on schedule. I'm just shy of 35 weeks along right now, and it's weird to think we'll have another baby in just over a month's time. We still don't have a name picked out for either sex. B1 has been so focused on work, finishing the basement, and his upcoming check ride to really give baby names much of a thought, and I've been so bogged down the last few weeks with a cold that alternates between wiping me out, giving me migraines, and keeping me from being able to breathe that most days I just try to survive to bedtime. So, I haven't really given names much of a thought either. This whole pregnancy has been different than my other three--at first, I feared there was something wrong with me or the baby because I didn't have the same immediate attachment that I had with my other three boys. After our ultrasound, and some talks with my OB, I've realized that this is common behavior and not necessarily indicative of a problem. Now, being this close to the end and still not knowing if we're having a boy or girl has been both fun and frustrating. I've wanted to buy little girl clothes that I see on sale, but don't want to if we end up having another boy (and, I've also seen some really cute little boy clothes that I've considering buying, but would already be too small for A and silly to purchase if this baby is a girl). But, I'm also really looking forward to finding out when the baby is born whether it's a boy or girl--it's like I get Christmas all over again in February. :) We get a lot of people asking if we are hoping this baby is either a boy or a girl, and I think frankly we don't care. We are just happy to have another baby blessing our family. And, I'm happy that this is the last time I will be pregnant (knock on wood).

So, that's our family news. I know, nothing super exciting, but at least I have some things written down for when I forget them tomorrow. :)

Friday, December 6, 2013

Out of the mouth of babes

D's prayer tonight:

Dear Heavenly Father,
Thank you for this great day.
Please bless that Jesus had a good day.
Please bless that I can give Jesus all my power, because I love him.
In the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

Friday, November 15, 2013

Some random stuff

It's been way too long since I've blogged, and I have some random stories and thoughts to share.

B2 can appropriately sing "All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth" -- both of his top front teeth are missing right now. Daddy helped him pull the first one (it was barely hanging on, and frankly it was gross because it was sticking almost straight forward) and D helped him pull the second one. Yes, that's right, D. It was just after bedtime, and I was catching up on the recent episode of Downton Abbey when B2 came running in to show me his bloody mouth. B2 then told me his brilliant strategy for removing the tooth -- "I took a hanger and bit down on it, and then D pulled as hard as he could and the tooth came flying out! But now I can't find it. Will the tooth fairy still come?" I sat dumbfounded for a second, and then busted up laughing. It was an ingenious strategy, and very effective. After I told B2 to go tell his dad the story, he went back in his room and looked some more, and was able to find the tooth.

A's two most recent developments are the addition of "No" to his vocabulary (though, unfortunately, he predominantly says it in a whiny voice; it's cute now, but it's going to get old fast)--and, with the ability to say no comes the exercise of and insistence on his own will, resulting in some battles now about whether or not he'll eat certain foods or get out of the bath tub--and his love of clapping. He applauds EVERYTHING--the dentist, his brothers, the TV shows, putting away bath toys, and Mommy's cooking (I particularly love this last one). It does make things slower at times though. For example, the other day A was in the bath and I tried to get him to pick up his toys and put them in his basket. He would pick up one, put it in the basket, stop, clap, look expectantly at me, I'd clap, he'd clap again, and then he'd go to the next toy. Sometimes he waits for me to do it so that he can clap for me. I do love getting praised so much for simple things like changing diapers and refilling sippy cups.

Last week was our ward Primary Program. It was phenomenal. The leaders had done a really good job with the kids, who were very well behaved and sang all the words nice and loud. B2 and D both said their lines into the microphone loud enough without screaming, breathing heavily, or spitting on the mic. And, as an added bonus, D entertained the ward by slightly-screaming the songs, waving at us, leading the music, and giving thumbs up after his speaking part. I may or may not have encouraged such behavior... ;)

Baby #4 is growing quickly. I'm getting people saying that I'm popping out, which is both depressing and reassuring (at least I'm not the only one that things I'm getting huge). I still have 13+ weeks to go. We don't know if this baby is a boy or girl, but we are assuming boy simply based on our track record. And, as far as names, I think we are worse off than before. We have barely discussed names, but so far we've only eliminated names (well, more accurately, I've proposed names and B1's shut me down). Since I've picked all but A's middle name, I suppose I should just pick out the names I like and start wearing down B1's resistance.

A absolutely ADORES animals! He loved feeding the goats at the pumpkin patch (he wasn't scared at all!!), and there's a neighborhood dog that looks kinda like a Shih Tzu that he loves to pieces. He screams with excitement every time he sees this dog, and cries the saddest tears when I tell him it's time to go home.

Note: anyone who tries to give A an animal for Christmas will suffer a horrible, terrible fate. You have been warned!

And, last random thought for this post: this Sunday is my niece Nom Nom's baby blessing. Right now my parents and Beez are at Rinz's house having fun together without me. I so wish I could be in Arkansas right now. (There's a phrase I never thought I'd say.) I still haven't seen baby Nom Nom other than through pictures, and she's so dang cute! I have the cutest nieces!!

Monday, October 7, 2013

Halfway!

As of today, I am 21 weeks and 1 day pregnant, so I am past the halfway point! It's so weird to think that I'm this far along, since I'm still not as heavy as I usually am when I get pregnant, let alone when I'm halfway there. I haven't had a lot of morning sickness for the past two months or so, but I do have eating fatigue, where pretty much nothing sounds good to eat (except maybe candy, but then only eating candy on an empty stomach makes me feel worse!). But, my weight gain isn't low enough that the doctor is worried.

Today, we had our major ultrasound. And, to answer the first and obvious question, no, we still don't know if it's a boy or girl. We are going to be surprised! Everyone else is convinced that this one is a girl due all the differences in my pregnancy, but I used the same logic with A (my pregnancy with him was so different than with my other two!) and clearly that wasn't accurate. So, you'll all just have to wait until February like the rest of us to find out.

The ultrasound went well. The doctor said everything looks great, and I think the profile picture looks a lot like AJ. Interestingly though, this baby's head is only measuring at 20 weeks and a few days...in other words, SMALLER than normal. Odd, since my babies have ginormous heads! Maybe I'll have a nice, easy delivery this time. Ha!

The best part of the ultrasound? This!


The doctor caught the baby yawning! How cute is that?!?!?

Thursday, September 12, 2013

Funny things D says

D: "Mom, is this [football goal post] from Home Depot?"
Me: "Yes, it is. How did you know that?"
D: "Because I have BRAINS!"

Wednesday, September 4, 2013

YW, and getting old

At YW tonight, we had a member of the stake presidency come speak to the girls about the temple. He began his talk by asking the girls to write down what they think their lives will be like in 15 years. One girl a few seats down added it up and said, "I'll be so old--I'll be like 30!" Yes, ladies, this is what old looks like.

Surprisingly, it didn't really bother me. I succumbed to the realization that I was old last year when I officially kissed the 20s goodbye. Though, it's a little daunting to be fully sailing into my 30s next week--I'm not really "barely past the 20s" when I'm 31. Sounds a little desperate to be still using that phrase.

If anything, this little activity made me laugh. Some of the girls shared what they wanted their lives to be like. All were 15 or younger (that shared), so they were all talking about their late 20s up to 30. Their lists included things like graduating college, getting married, having babies, and the like. Some were more specific ("I'll be pregnant for the first time") and some were more vague ("I have no idea what my life will hold in 15 years!"). But, each one made me smile at how much better my life is than I had initially planned.

When I was in YW, I had my life planned out. Here's how it went:
  1. Graduate high school when 17.
  2. Go to my favorite university, and major in Psychology.
  3. At 21, go on a mission, probably foreign, and hopefully Spanish-speaking.
  4. At 22.5, come home, resume education.
  5. Complete Bachelor's degree. Start Clinical Psychology Ph.D program.
  6. Graduate at 28. Starting working as a therapist for rape victims.
  7. At 30, get married (as the last one of my friends--they all got married young, like 19 or 20). Marry a hot, tall (6'0"-6'3"), Spanish-speaking return missionary who is also a lawyer and has already agreed to live on the same street as my two best friends, B and L. Get married in Los Angeles temple. Best day ever!
  8. Sometime after 30, maybe have kids--I mean, I'm supposed to have kids and all that.
Yep, that was the plan. And it worked pretty well...up to #2. I did graduate at 17, I did go to my favorite university, and I did major in Psych. And...then began the deviations. I had not planned on a semester in Nauvoo, without which my life would have a huge, gaping hole. I did not plan to meet my husband when I was 19 (okay, only a few days before I turned 20, but still!), and did not plan to actually be convinced not to serve a mission (not by him--he was completely supportive, though he made no false promises about waiting for me). I did not plan to get married at 20. I did not plan to stop my education after receiving my Master's degree. I did not plan to have a child at 23, or work in Human Resources, or live in Utah. I did not anticipate the strong urge to quit my job and stay home with my kids.

Little did I know how much better my life could be than what I had planned! My scariest nightmares are ones where I lose my husband or child(ren), and those ones haunt me even while awake. I never thought I'd stay up late crying because some child I had never met on the other side of the country had something horrible happen, and I realized my own inability to protect my children from the evils of the world. I would never have understood the joy at watching my sons play soccer, at the way a simple hug or grin could make my day go from horrible to perfect in an instant. I would never have felt the frustration at taking photo after photo, and editing said photos for so long, and never being able to capture all that is amazing about my children.

Yes, they can be stinkers. They can drive me crazy when they stain my already-ugly carpet, shake my bed when I'm green to the teeth with morning sickness, or constantly interrupt ("Mom....Mom....Mom....Mom..."). But they are the best part of my day, and I'm so lucky that my plan almost completely derailed. But, thank goodness I still married the hot, tall, Spanish-speaking return missionary. Otherwise, I might have some ugly children. ;)

Thank goodness that's not the case.

Sunday, September 1, 2013

Chastised in public...well, sort of

Our home teachers came by today (on the first! Yes, they are awesome). B2 was sharing a story about the party we attended yesterday at my aunt and uncle's house. He had been outside playing football while the adults were inside watching the BYU/Virginia football game on TV. So, he was telling the home teachers all about it, and then said,"Dad needs to stop watching TV and come outside and play with his son!" We all just burst up laughing. Point taken kiddo.

Incidentally, B2 has a seriously perfect spiral when he throws a football, and can throw pretty far. He has already asked to play football, so I better get myself prepared for that.