We have a pet!

We have a pet!

His name is D.

I'm getting convinced that D is part dog. He prefers NOT to wear clothes, and he continually "marks his territory"--anywhere and everywhere. Beds. Trees. Every patch of grass. The trampoline. Bushes. Concrete walls next to freeways. His carseat. His toy box.


And the list goes on.


Tonight, he added a new one. He peed out his bedroom window.


I guess he figured the screen was too clean...?

Stop growing!!!

A isn't growing super fast in the weight category (he had his 2 month check-up this past week, and he's in the 7th percentile!), but he is growing up fast in other areas. Tonight I watched him roll from his BACK to his front! Yes, that's right! Not front to back, which is supposedly easier, but back to front. We have a spry one our hands!

Just wanted to blog this so we would have it documented.

Welcome A!

I suppose I need to write down A's birth story before I forget all the details. I had expected to have a similar experience as I did with B2, but it was quite different.

A was due June 11, 2012. As I had anticipated, I started dilating early. At my 36 week appt, I was already 2 cm dilated and 70% effaced. And, as before, I was hoping for an early delivery. I was also hoping not to have two of my boys sharing birthdays, because that was a definite possibility--at 36 weeks, B2's birthday was 6 days away and D's was 3.5 weeks away. We were also moving in to our new house the weekend after my 36 week appt. I asked the doctor if lifting heavy boxes would throw me into labor, but he sadly informed me that at best it would do nothing; at worst, I would get hurt (sore muscles and all). He said the move would have no positive or negative impact on my pregnancy.

The move went well, and I went in two days later for my 37th week appointment hoping for good news. Sadly, I didn't get it--I had made absolutely no progress. For me, that's unusual. I usually dilate 1/2 to 1 cm per week and continually efface, but I hadn't done either. I began to resign myself to the idea that I was probably not going to have another May baby.

By the 38th week appt, I had made a little more progress. I was up to 3 cm dilated and still around 70-75% effaced. With B2's birthday now behind me, I was ready to have this baby quickly before it got too close to D's birthday. The doctor swept my membranes, hoping to throw me into labor. Alas, no luck. I just bled a little for a day or two and had some wonderfully awesome (*cough*) and intense contractions, but stayed pregnant.

At 39 weeks, I was so done being pregnant! D's birthday was now in 4 days, so I had the doctor sweep my membranes again, hoping that I could go into labor, have this baby, and be home before D's birthday.  Again, no luck--just more contractions, but they never got close enough together to go the hospital and would stop by bedtime. I tried walking and cleaning and all sorts of stuff to keep those contractions going, as well as applying essential oils to encourage the contractions, but no luck.

I saw the doctor again on my due date, June 11th. By now, I had been pregnant longer with this baby than with any other (B2 was born at 1:00 a.m. on his due date, and we induced D a week early), so I was getting really sick of being pregnant and ready to snuggle this cute (and likely ginormous) baby. I was also getting a little scared of having a stillborn child. Even though the doctor reassured me that the odds of stillborn didn't go up until at least a week after my due date (and more likely two weeks), I asked to be scheduled for an induction on Friday, June 15th. I didn't want to go a whole weekend without being able to easily (and cheaply) see my doctor in his office instead of having to go to the ER, just in case. I also had the doctor sweep my membranes again, just in case. He (Dr M) mentioned that he was the on-call doctor until 7:00 a.m. the next morning, so he said he hoped to see me before he got off call. I agreed. I didn't really get many contractions that afternoon, and I got sadder and sadder as I watched my due date come to a close.

I was woken up by contractions at 3:45 a.m. The contractions weren't terribly intense, but they were intense enough to wake me up (that hadn't happened before...ever) and seemed to be coming fairly close together. Not wanting to unnecessarily freak out my husband, I went into the living room to time the contractions and see if they were getting closer together, staying the same distance, or growing further apart. Plan failed--B1 felt me get out of bed and within seconds he was out of bed too. We timed a few contractions, and they were lasting about a minute and were coming every 3 minutes. We decided to head to the hospital. After my short labor with B2, we were afraid of having a freeway baby and didn't want to wait any longer. So far during the pregnancy, I hadn't had any contractions this close together (except the occasional 2 or 3 that would be close together but then nothing for hours or days). We packed up the hospital bags, called B1's parents (who were kind enough to wake up in the middle of the night and drive to our house so we didn't have to wake up B2 and D), and we were off to the hospital. My contractions weren't as intense as they were with B2 as we drove, so I was better able to handle B1's crazy driving. :) Just kidding--he did really well, especially with avoiding speeding up and slowing down dramatically.

We got to the hospital around 4:45 a.m., and was immediately checked in. We didn't have to be monitored like I was with D--I guess they figured that since a.) I was technically past my due date, b.) I was already dilated to 3 cm, c.) I had been timing my contractions for nearly an hour, and c.) this wasn't my first pregnancy so I theoretically knew what was real labor, they would accept my word for it. I was taking to the delivery room and got settled in.

B1 and I had discussed prior the plan of me going all natural with this delivery. With B2 and D, I had had IV painkillers (Demerol, I believe) during the labor. Both boys seemed to struggle a very tiny bit as well--B2 struggled during delivery, when his oxygen dropped and I had to put on oxygen mask, and D after delivery when he couldn't clear the fluid out of his lungs. While I don't know all the research to know if these are even known risk factors for IV painkillers and delivery, I felt that I needed to not do any painkillers this time and see if it made a difference. We explained that we did not want any painkillers to the nurse, but she still said I had to have an IV inserted and taped off due to hospital policy. It happened so fast, and I was not happy about it after the fact. I found out later that we could have avoided that if we had signed a waiver, and I wish we had been more forceful with the nurse. Oh well...notes for me for next time.

With B2, I was only in the hospital for about 3 hours before he was born--I was being monitored for an hour, at which point I was at least 5 cm dilated and moved to the labor room. I then went from a 5 to a 10 in another hour, at which point my water was broken and I started to push. He was born an hour later. So, I was hoping for another quick delivery (though hopefully much less pushing). But, sadly, I went at the normal rate--I was dilating about a cm per hour. Thankfully, my contractions were not intense for most of that time. I would describe them as uncomfortable--I would have to stop talking and focus on breathing, but other than that the time passed fairly easily, although slowly. We joked with Dr. M, who stopped in every hour or so, that he must be the only OB at the doctors' office who knows how to sweep membranes, because the other two OBs had not been successful. He kept me laughing whenever he came in. At 7:00 a.m. Dr M went home, and Dr. L came in! Dr. L was the same OB who delivered B2, and the reason why we returned to that practice for this pregnancy.

Around 9:00 a.m. the contractions started getting worse--they were more intense and painful, and seemed to be even closer together. I was checked, and still only around 7 cm. I feared that I would have another 3 hours of painful contractions, and was starting to doubt my decision to go natural. Brian and I talked, and we figured we would wait a little longer to see how much more I could handle. At 9:30 a.m., I asked the nurse to check me and I was still around 7.5 cm. I broke down and asked for the painkillers at this point, only to be told no--she said at this point I could go so quickly that it's not advised to have painkillers injected.. The contractions right after being checked were so intense that I quickly moved to the stage of thinking, "I can't do this!" After one or two contractions, I felt my body start pushing the baby. The nurse had mentioned that my OB had left the hospital to go to his office (it's just on the other side of the parking lot), so B1 quickly summoned the nurse and told her that my body was pushing and we needed the doctor back. By this point, it's now around 9:45 a.m. The nurse checked me again, and I was nearly at 10 cm. She summoned the doctor, and I started pushing. I was shocked that my body was pushing this baby out, because as of yet my water still hadn't broken. I didn't know it was possible to start delivering the baby while he was still enclosed in the amniotic sac. I guess I didn't pay enough attention in my birthing class when I was pregnant with B1. My water finally broke a few pushes before the baby's head came out. So, I had my first "spontaneous rupture." As with B1, there was meconium in the amniotic fluid, but I guess that's what I get for having full-term babies (and another reason I'm terrified of going past my due date).

I imagine the rest is fairly typical of labor--I pushed, screamed some, insisted I couldn't deliver this baby, and tried to convince the doctor that the baby's head wasn't going to fit, while he tried to convince me that there was plenty of room. Ha! You're going to tell the pregnant lady who is feeling every cm of her baby's head burning its way out that there's more room??? And then, suddenly, the head pops out, the body quickly follows, and all is right with the world.

I had always heard stories about people saying what a spiritual experience birth is, and I had felt kinda like a horrible person because the delivery had been such horrible experiences for me in the past. But, this time, I had had that spirtual experience. As soon as A's head was out, I felt an outpouring of peace, happiness, love, and so many other positive emotions that I don't even have words for. All thoughts of pain, frustration, and so on that I had just had were instantly gone, and all I could think about was this sweet baby in front of me, and he was the most perfect thing I had ever seen. I know it's probably silly and can't be proven scientifically, but I honestly think not having painkillers with this delivery made a huge difference. Now, I'm not saying that you can't have a similar wonderful experience with IV painkillers or epidurals, but for me the experience was so much better without the medications.

Little Strider, as he was known in the womb, was born at 10:20 a.m. He weighed 7 pounds and 13 ounces. I was shocked that he was so little. B2 was 6 ounces heavier and born one day earlier, so I was expecting at least an 8 pound baby. We moved into the recovery room, and within a few hours I was ready to go home, except we didn't have a name for the baby. B1 and I spent most of that day talking about it, and decided on A. Both his first name and nickname both have references to Lord of the Rings. The middle name was in a dream that B1 had, and we both liked it. It's a big name for a little guy, so we mainly call him by his initials.

My recovery was very fast and easy. I didn't have any pain medication in the hospital (to the shock of the nurses--they didn't seem to know what to do with me since I didn't need helping peeing and I didn't need drugs), and I didn't have an episiotomy or tear when delivery. Within a few hours, I felt almost as good as new (though it still hurt a bit to sit), and we pushed to be discharged the following morning. We were discharged about 26 hours after A was born.

So, overall, this birth was a wonderful experience. Yes, there was pain and frustration and fatigue, but mostly I remember the wonderful feelings associated with snuggling this cute, adorable baby. A was already sleeping 4-5 hours at a time in the hospital, and would sleep best at night, so I have been able to do fairly well on his sleep schedule. He hasn't grown as quickly as my other boys, which makes me both happy (because he stays a little boy for just a bit longer) and scared (because I'm worried he's not eating enough). I am thrilled that I get to stay at home with him and I don't have to leave him with a babysitter 5 days a week. I'm glad that I didn't stay on maternity leave for the full 12 weeks with my other boys, because it just would have been too heart-wrenching to come back after that. So I am just loving being able to cuddle A all day, every day. I may even indulge him a bit too much by holding him for his afternoon naps and letting him sleep in our bed after his 4:30 a.m. feeding, but I know he won't stay little for long.

A was blessed on Sunday, July 15th. Rinz and J came in to town from AR, and my parents, E, and K were in town from CA. We were sorely missed B1's sister C1, her husband B, and their kids, but other than that all of A's immediate and close extended family were there! Thank you to all who came--you made it the perfect day!

Funny Things D says

The other day I was snacking on some cucumbers and Ranch dressing. D will put Ranch on anything. It's a bonus when we want him to eat healthy stuff like carrots, but kinda gross when he puts it on his eggs. Anyway, the following conversation took place.

D: I want some Ranch!
Mommy: No.
Daddy (speaking to D): Why?
D: Because I said so, that's why!

Daddy looked surprised. He didn't think he said that phrase that often. I wasn't surprised--I knew D was parroting me. Oops! :)

Not a coincidence

Wow, what a week! It has been another crazy week. After we found out that our appraisal on our house came in under the purchase price, we submitted an addendum to the sellers (to then be forwarded to the bank) to amend the purchase price to the appraisal price and to adjust our financing and closing dates, as it would no longer be possible to meet the original dates in our contract. A few days after submitting the addendum to the sellers, our agent spent several days trying to reach the seller's agent to confirm that they had signed the addendum and forwarded it on the bank--no response. So, we were even more frustrated at our limbo status because we didn't even know if our paperwork was being considered by the bank yet, but we figured this was the price we were paying for buying a short sale. Nervous about the possibility that we might end up waiting months for the bank to approve the addendum (during which time our contract would expire and I could potentially have this baby and we could wear out our welcome at my in-laws' house), B1 and I scheduled to go see some new houses on Thursday night. At 4:00 p.m. Thursday night, we got a phone call from our agent that our buyer for our condo would not be able to close on Monday as we had expected, and would be requesting a few more days. B1 and I tried to just laugh (even though we were irritated), as we had spent all day Thursday packing up the essentials of our house in preparation for our move the next day. Not only was our house packed, we had reserved a rental truck, paid for a storage unit, notified friends and family that we would need help moving, and scheduled the termination of our utilities for Monday, allowing us time to move on Friday and clean the entire condo on Saturday. We were past the point of no return, and had to move out even though we could have stayed in our place for a few more days. So, anyway, back to the showings. We went and saw two houses. One was the exact same floorplan as the house we currently had our contract on, but their basement was completely finished and the yard wasn't quite as nice. As much as we tried to convince ourselves that it was the same thing, we just couldn't get over the fact that we wanted "our" house more. The other house we didn't like at all. So, we were back to hoping that everything would work out and we could still get in "our" house and settled long before this baby comes.

On Friday morning, we moved out. We started at 10:00 a.m., and with the wonderful help of family and some friends in the ward, we were done by 1:30--this included those helping us driving to the storage unit and my in-laws' house (multiple times) to also help us unload. We then sent everyone home and B1 and I spent the rest of the afternoon packing up what we hadn't packed before everyone showed up, and making a few more trips to empty out our condo. Friday morning, while packing and moving, we got a call from the title company and they scheduled our closing for Monday afternoon! We were so excited as we thought we were being postponed, and now we could close on time. Friday afternoon rolls around, and I got another call from the title company that our closing would have to be rescheduled for the following Monday due to a contract addendum she had received stating thus. We were shocked--we knew that our buyer needed more time, but had been told "a few days, and at the very latest Friday" and now we were being told another full week. We called our agent to ask what was going on--when she called back, she explained that the buyer simply asked for a week to eliminate the chance of having us sign another addendum "just in case," but that he was still hoping to close as quickly as possible. Somewhat relieved, we signed the addendum and figured that it didn't matter much at this point anyway--we were already moved out, and as long as he closes before the end of the month we won't have to pay another month of HOA fees and mortgage payments.

Today, B1 and I spent the entire day cleaning our condo, during which I was constantly embarrassed by the realization that I am a terrible housekeeper. I'm fairly sure that I cleaned some things today that have not been cleaned since we moved in nearly 7 years ago--cabinets, baseboards...oh dear. I need to have some type of routine that reminds me to clean these areas regularly, because frankly it was quite disturbing. I just hope our buyer appreciates it, even though he'll still probably end up painting over nearly everything I cleaned (cleaning just won't fix paint chips and the various marks all over the walls, doors, etc.). As B1 and I were taking a brief break from dinner, I saw a text from our real estate agent--the bank has approved our addendum! I was shocked!!! As I sat there eating my delicious cheeseburger and fries from Wasatch Deli, it hit me that our buyer had asked for a week extension on his contract, and the appraisal coming in low had delayed us exactly one week. Coincidence? I think not! I seriously had to marvel at the Lord's hand in this, and chastise myself a bit for not having more faith. I had hope, but not the level of faith to completely trust.

So, we are so excited!! Unfortunately, we won't be able to close by next week, which would have been great with B1's work schedule, but we'll have to make do. Right now, I'm content to stay at my in-laws' for a bit. Moving was rough, and we have way, WAY too much stuff for me to be excited about moving it all again.

One step forward, two steps back

It's been a while since I last posted about the sale of our condo. That's probably because we've had so many ups and downs that I felt I was always contradicting myself. First it was that we would be closing X day and moving Y, then that got pushed back a week, then a month. First we were having an inspection being done while we were on the cruise, and then we found out that the buyer decided to forgo the inspection. And stioll, the craziness continues. Thankfully, we seem to be in really good shape with the sale of the condo. According to the buyer's loan officer today, we will be all set to close next Monday, so we are moving this weekend! We ended up not getting the house I mentioned in my previous post, but found another short sale in the same neighborhood. Our offer was approved in less than two weeks by the bank, so we were on our way to moving into a house only about a week after closing on our condo.

Well, then the delays started. The bank wasn't providing our agent with the actual approval letter, but told us just to proceed as if we had it. That's all well and good for them, but "proceeding" meant a.) starting the loan paperwork and b.) incurring non-refundable costs on inspections and appraisals. Unfortunately, the first was not possible (the loan could not proceed without that bank approval) and the second wasn't wise (why should we incur expense simply because some agent we've never met said we had approval, which she was saying based on the word of some third party since she wasn't in possession of the approval either?). So, we sat and waited...and waited...and waited. Two weeks later, the bank FINALLY sends the letter, and now we are frantically trying to meet the deadlines stipulated in our original contract with the owners and rush our bank to complete our loan paperwork quickly. And, it was looking pretty good...until today. Our loan officer called and the appraisal on the home came back $7,000 too low. We are now left with one of three possible scenarios:

1. Take $7,000 of our down payment and give it to the bank, resulting in a higher PMI payment and money that's not doing anything for us as far as equity--or, in other words, pay $7,000 more than the house is worth. Um...no thanks!
2. Go back to the bank and ask that they accept a sale price that's $7,000 less to match the appraised price, and hope the bank reviews our appraisal, agrees, and lowers the price (and hopefully does this super, super fast so we don't delay our contract too long).
3. Go back to the bank and ask that they accept a sale price that's $7,000 less to match the appraised price, after which the bank says they want another opinion and goes through the process of getting a BPO and/or another appraisal done before they begin negotiating with us on the final sale price, which could take months to complete.

So, needless to say, option 2 is what we're hoping for, but we are back to being in limbo--there's nothing we can do but sit and what to hear what the bank is going to do. As I was thinking stewing on this tonight, I've had a hard time not getting discouraged. We really like this house, even though it's by no means our dream house. It will have some room to grow, but we love the neighborhood and we have been so excited about all that home ownership will finally provide us with--a garage, a backyard, a basement, a garden--that to have this comes up feels like we're losing it all when it was so very close. We have been so lucky to have this process go so quickly--the sale of our condo in less than 24 hours, the approval of a short sale in just a few weeks--that any delay feels like it's all just been too good to be true. Now, I'm not writing about all this because I want sympathy or pity--I don't. I know we have been truly blessed so far in this process, and we're keenly aware of how many of our good friends in the ward would kill to be in our shoes. I've mainly been explaining all this to provide a (very long) lead-in to one of the most powerful talks I've ever heard, and which I am re-reading tonight. This talk was given by Elder Oaks at a BYU devotional in the winter of 2002, while I was in Nauvoo. At the time, I felt he was giving it specifically for me, as I had spent the past year struggling with frustration that life was not going the way I wanted it to go. The previous semester I had spent practically throwing myself at a guy who lead me on, I was rooming with the girl who was engaged to my best friend that I secretly had very strong feelings for, I was taking a semester off from my major, and I was hoping to serve a mission in about 18 months when I turned 21 despite my frustrations that I had been at BYU for "so long" and still wasn't married (yes, I was actually freaking out about not being married when I was 19!). So, anyway, this talk made me sit back and remind myself that a.) I wasn't as old as I thought, and b.) the Lord really knew better than I did about how my life should go, and I should just shut up and listen instead of telling Him how it was going to work. Now...fast forward 10 years, and B1 and I are feeling very scared. We are about to sell our condo with its lovely low mortgage payment and move away from our ward that we love so much, and we had no idea where we were going to go or if we could even find some place that we could afford. B1 was more afraid than I was, for some strange reason--usually when it comes to lack of faith, I take the cake. But this talk from ten years prior popped in my head, and we read it, and again I felt that Elder Oaks had given it for me...but for the now-me, as it applied in a whole new way.

I wanted to include a few of my favorite parts from his talk. Maybe this is just for me so I have easy access to my thoughts on this subject, but maybe this will help someone out there in blogland too.

• "In all the important decisions in our lives, what is most important is to do the right thing. Second, and only slightly behind the first, is to do the right thing at the right time."
• "The first principle of the gospel is faith in the Lord Jesus Christ. Faith means trust—trust in God’s will, trust in His way of doing things, and trust in His timetable."
• "The Lord’s timing also applies to the important events of our personal lives. A great scripture in the Doctrine and Covenants declares that a particular spiritual experience will come to us 'in his own time, and in his own way, and according to his own will' (D&C 88:68). This principle applies to revelation and to all of the most important events in our lives: birth, marriage, death, and even our moves from place to place. It is not enough that we are going in the right direction. The timing must be right, and if the time is not right, our actions should be adjusted to the Lord’s timetable as revealed by His servants."
• "Faith in the Lord Jesus Christ prepares us for whatever life brings. This kind of faith prepares us to deal with life’s opportunities—to take advantage of those that are received and to persist through the disappointments of those that are lost."
• "If we have faith in God and if we are committed to the fundamentals of keeping His commandments and putting Him first in our lives, we do not need to plan every single event—even every important event—and we should not feel rejected or depressed if some things—even some very important things—do not happen at the time we had planned or hoped or prayed."

So, let's hope I can do as Elder Oaks suggested, and take comfort in letting the Lord take control. Otherwise, I can only expect horrible heartburn in the near future as we anxiously wait the bank's decision.

Polars

This past week we had a super scary moment at the park. I had just taken D to the potty in the clubhouse and we were walking back out. B2 was playing with a friend on the slides, and D was insisting on me pushing him in the swing. Well, with me being 30 weeks pregnant, I'm not really enjoying pushing him, which requires me to stand for long periods of time and usually results in at least one accidental kick to my stomach (not hard--I'm sure our baby is doing just fine). So, I told him I wasn't going to push him on the swings and he should go play on the slides with his brother. D started throwing a massive tantrum, which I tried to ignore by walking away. Well, he follows me, and as we're sitting down I've noticed that I haven't heard any sound from his "screaming" tantrum for a little longer than usual. Once again, D has thrown one of his fits where he stopped breathing. So, I waited...and waited...and waited...longer than usual this time. D's lips started turning blue, then his face... His eyes looked panic and then rolled back in his head... My immediate thought was to do the Heimlich --after all, what else would be causing him not to breathe? Maybe he put something in his mouth while I wasn't looking and started choking? Heimlich Maneuver did nothing. D wasn't breathing, and I didn't know what to do. I was just about to run to a neighbor's house and ask for help while I called 911 when he suddenly took a big gasp and resumed breathing, sobbing gently.

This isn't the first time this has happened. Two or three times previously D had been in the middle of a tantrum when he would stop breathing, but this was the longest it had gone on and the worst I had seen. I sat, close to tears, and cuddled him, feeling hopeless that this would happen again and there would be nothing I could do to save my little boy. So, with no other options, I started searching the internet to see if anyone else experienced something similar. My first few results talked about children voluntarily holding their breath to get what they wanted, but I knew D wasn't doing this--his panicked look indicated that he clearly had no control over what was happening. Finally, I saw this website, and I became somewhat relieved. This seemed to be exactly what was happening--these spells occurred during tantrums and were not the conscious will of the child. After reading about the possible family history link, I called my mom, and sure enough one of my siblings also suffered from the same thing as a child (I'm sure my siblings can guess which one, but it's not my place to post it here), which would also confirm a family history (though not directly from me or my husband). Probably the most disconcerting part of the article is to ignore these spells as much as possible. Really--someone wants me to ignore the fact that my child can't breathe?? My mom made a good recommendation that I take a CPR class, which I will be doing next month, so that I can help D resume breathing should he pass out and not immediately start on his own. But seriously, this is awful! I thought night terrors were hard to handle, but these are way, way worse. At least with the night terrors I knew that B2 would eventually wake up or go back to sleep and be fine--I don't yet have the same reassurance with D.

So, after learning that D has horrific temper tantrums, the next day we had the polar opposite. Yesterday morning while I was blow-drying and flat-ironing my hair, D came in the bathroom and said he wanted to watch. He watched for a second, then whispered, almost in awe, "Wow... You so pretty!" He really can be a sweet boy, which I just have to remind myself of for all those other times that he seems like a demon child. I sure do love this little boy of mine though.