Funny Things Our Kids Say

I know, I know, I haven't updated this blog in a while. So, here's some funny stories from our boys.

A few months ago D came in to our room Sunday morning. I was in that stage where my eyes were still closed, but I was starting to become aware of my surroundings. I hear B1 tell D, "Mommy is still asleep D. Can you let Mommy sleep?" D immediately replied, "Noooooooooo..."

Driving carpool cracks me up--B2 and L are so funny together! One day I overheard them saying the following:
B2: "L, will you marry me?"
L: (in a shocked, almost insulted tone) "No!"
B2: (in a dismayed tone) "Why not?"
L: "Because I want to marry [boy#1] or [boy#2]!"
B2: (in a fearful tone) "Mom, L said she won't marry me. Then who am I going to marry?"

Last week as we were driving up to visit my brother, B2 asked if we could name our new baby Carly. We told him that we weren't going to settle on a name yet, because we weren't sure if we were having a girl.
B2: "But I want a sister!"
Mom: "That's nice honey, but we don't have a say in that."
Dad: "B2, would you like it if you had two sisters?" [For the record, no, we are not having twins.]
B2: "No, I only want one sister. If I have one sister, she'll be nice to me. If I have two sisters, they'll bug me."
B1 chuckled at that, because he has two sisters... [So do I, but my sisters didn't bug me. ;) ]

Funny Things B2 Says

Today we bought B2 a map of the United States. Too often he asks questions like if we can go visit Nini after school and come home in time for bed, which just isn't possible when Nini lives 1,443 miles (by road). We're hoping the map will teach him his geography as well as help him understand why we can't visit certain family members whenever we want. So, anyway, here's the conversation.
B2: "Mom, did you buy me a map?!?"
Mom: "Yes, I did."
B2: "What is it a map to?" Note: my brain heard, "What is it a map of?" so I had "United States" on the tip of my tongue when B2 continued: "To treasure??"
I was so taken aback by his comment that I almost choked on my laughter.

Then, a few minutes later, B2 started his kindergarten homework. Today, his homework consisted of practicing his handwriting on the letter S. Daddy was helping him while I made cookies (s'mores cookies--unfortunately, I was quite disappointed, but that's a different story). B2 exclaimed, "Look Mom, I'm working on my S-eses." He sounded a bit like Gollum talking like that.

Funny Things B2 Says

I have a carpool worked out for B2 and kindergarten -- not that it's that far away or anything (his school is less than 2 miles), but simply for convenience. One day while driving the kids home, L (the girl we carpool with) was talking about her after-school plans.
L: "I'm going to go see Phillip."
B2: "You're gonna throw up?"

In our church, part of our worship services includes taking the sacrament. We have been trying to teach B2 about the sacrament, it's importance, and so on. On this particular Sunday, Daddy was teaching B2 about how it's necessary to hold the Priesthood in order to pass the sacrament.
Daddy: "B2, do you want to hold the Priesthood?"
B2: "Yeah, but sometimes I want to hold the Cheez-It Priesthood."

Never?

When I was a kid I wanted to be a doctor. I don't remember any specific reason why, other than it seemed the only choices in life were to be a doctor or a lawyer, and doctors made more money and had more prestige (few people ever say in joyous surprise, "Oh, you're a lawyer?" unless that's followed by a request for free legal services). Then I realized that the sight of blood made my stomach turn. And, since I believed that the only type of doctor worth being was a surgeon, I decided I could no longer be a doctor.

When I was an older kid, I wanted to be a lawyer. After all, the only two choices in life were to be a doctor or a lawyer, and I had already ruled out doctor. Besides, my dad is a lawyer, and other than working really long hours it seemed to be a good job. He told funny stories about the crazy things people sued for, and their audacity in thinking that a jury would actually award them money. The other lawyers in the firm seemed like good people, so I figured this could be a good job. Then, when I was 15, I worked in my dad's law firm one summer, and I realized that being a lawyer wasn't all dramatic court scenes and the glory of saving your client tons of money--it was a lot of paperwork, writing boring letters, and dealing with bottom-of-the-barrel loser lawyers who barely graduated correspondence law school, failed the Bar Exam countless times, and now were taking frivolous cases to court since that's how they made their money. And, I decided that law wasn't for me.

When I was a teenager, I wanted to be a psychologist. And not just any psychologist, but one who helped rape victims recover from their traumatic experiences. I researched it, and knew that I had to be a Ph.D, and that was fine with me. I also knew that I could make a good living with this career path, but really the appeal was in helping someone overcome what would hopefully be the worst thing that would ever happen to them, and return to a normal state of being. I had it all planned: I would take AP classes and college courses while in high school, graduate from BYU with my Bachelor's degree, go on an LDS mission, finish my Ph.D, get married at 30, and have a glorious career. Maybe kids would be in the mix, but not until I had at least practiced a few years to build up a clientele that would allow me to work from home.

When I was 19 (a week before my 20th birthday) I met the man who would soon become my husband. As things progressed, I realized my life plan was splitting. I could either take Path A that I had planned in high school, or Path B--get married to a pilot who would take me to live who knows where. So, I took the safe course--Path C. Path C meant start with a Master's program. If Path B turns out to be a dead end, I could skip the Master's program, go on a mission, and resume Path A. If Path B worked out, I could do the Master's degree, and finish the Ph.D. wherever hubby's job sent us, and then pick up Path A with the career.

Path B ended up not going where I wanted it to go. I had assumed the job would start sooner than it did and that we would have time to travel a bit before the kids came. Instead, I finished my Master's degree, started working in a completely unrelated field, and we started our family. We bought a condo that we now can't seem to sell, we're living in a state that my husband promised me while dating that we would not live in, and I so desperately want the dream house that it seems everyone our age is getting.

Yes, life did not work out in just about any way I had planned. On the bright side, I have a wonderful husband 10 years earlier than expected, two wonderful (most days) boys that make me laugh on a regular basis, a condo we can afford that's not ghetto (that could definitely be worse!!!), and wonderful neighbors. I finally get to be a stay at home mom to my boys. But, sometimes I spend too much time on Pinterest or Facebook and see what I still wish I could have: the nice, attractively decorated house with a basement for my food storage and a back yard for my boys; pictures of the thousands of places I want to visit; and so on. Today is a day that requires a lot of extra effort to not covet what I don't have (and, in some cases, never will), but instead be grateful for what I do. After all, I thought I knew what I wanted 10, 15, and 20 years ago, but look how wrong I was...

Funny things D says

This morning I was working in our office (spare bedroom) while B2 and D were watching SpongeBob. When I came out, D asked for more milk in his sippy. I went to pick up his sippy, and realized he needed more milk because he had spilled a large amount onto our carpet.

Me: "D, do you see this? What is this?"
D: "Milk."
Me: "Yes, it's milk. You made a mess. When you make a mess, you need to come tell Mommy."
I start scrubbing the carpet.

D: "Don't worry Mommy!"


Clearly, the messy carpet bothered me more than it bothered D.

Funny Things B2 Says

Last week B2 had a friend over and they were playing Candy Land. I overheard B2 say, "I just won, so I quit. C'mon N, let's just be quitting."

Funny Things B2 Says

We were visiting my parents a few weeks ago. B2 was talking to our family friend Brittany. B2 had her drink next to him, and she asked for it. B2's response was: "Do you want happiness [holding her drink] or unhappiness [holding his drink]?"

Tonight we were watching a movie, during which there are several kissing scenes. At one point, after the two were done kissing, B2 asked, "Hey Mommy, do you think that tastes gross or tastes good?" B1 and I started laughing and just couldn't find a good response to his question.